Waxing Gibbous

Painful Reminders (A)

The sequence of events was still blurry and came in snip-its. One minute I was in the clearing in agonizing pain, the next I was being sat down in my bed. I was positive I heard Carlisle and Rosalie, the pack?

I couldn't remember because the pain was so intense. It was down to a low hum, a small ache throughout my body, and a burning in my chest. I remember screaming, I remember the intense fire, the cool fingers and then nothing.

It was gone, the pain, the fire, everything.

I woke up for the first time I was actually cognizant of my surroundings. Everything was so clear. Clearer than before. I was in my bed, a light sheet draped over my legs. My torso and arm were wrapped in a bandage. I leaned up slightly trying to figure everything out, but a sudden cool hand was placed on my chest.

"careful" I blinked my eyes to look at the owner of the hand. Rosalie was watching my every move. I was half expecting her to be angry at me, to be mad that I promised her everything would be alright yet here I was.

"what happened?" I croaked my throat sore, probably from screaming my mind told me. I looked to the side table grateful that someone left some water behind. I opened the bottle and chugged nearly half of it before setting the bottle back on my nightstand.

Rosalie sat patiently watching my every move, like she was afraid something might happen. "does your throat feel better?" she asked.

I nodded "yeah, just dry and a little sore. Probably from screaming... Rose, I'm sorry, I never meant to- "she cut me off by placing a finger over my lips.

"don't apologize. You saved me and Leah. I'm just upset that I almost lost you"

I leaned up wrapping my arm around Rosalie, holding her close, taking in her scent. "I was worried the venom would cause more of an issue"

"what venom?"

"Alex, you got bit. A lot, six, seven times. I thought you were going to die or become like me" Rose replied, raw emotion in her voice.

I could feel a sliver of fear flood through me, the idea of never being able to see my mom or being a bigger danger to her than I already was left a pang in my chest. There was also the thought of being killed by the pack because I was one of their worst enemies.

"I'm still me though... I..."

"you're not a ravenous, blood thirsty monster" she replied. My eyes widened.

"you're not a monster Rose"

She gave a pained smile "almost all of us are when we first wake up. You saw the newborns." Her hand cupped my cheek "we were worried because you've been asleep for 3 days, and you would writhe in pain. Screaming occasionally... it was heart breaking" there was so much pain in her voice.

I pulled her closer so that she was nearly on my lap, "I'm okay, I'm fine. I'm still here"

"but you've still changed"

I furrowed my brow "what?"

"you're eyes, they're still green but there is a ring of crimson – like the newborns. It fades out to a golden color like mine..."

"is that a bad thing?" I asked confusion lacing my voice. I was afraid, this was a big change.

"I don't know... I don't think so" she looked around "your moms downstairs so if you were like me you wouldn't be able to handle it"

I took a deep breath, she was right. My mom was downstairs, so was Eve. Their scent was stronger, more pronounced than before but that was it. I turned towards Rosalie, the scent of wild berries invading my senses just as it always did.

I took the moment to look at her, to really see. She was always beautiful, but she looked absolutely breathtaking, she didn't look like a model or a cheerleader, no she looked like a goddess.

I brought my hand up at an alarming speed that I flinched. Rosalie's eyes widened minutely. "I suppose there is more we should look at... Carlisle will be very interested in this new development"

"I'm sorry i-"

Her finger was placed on my lips "shh... there is nothing to apologize for. Without you I would have been killed and so would Leah."

"is everyone else okay?" I asked, deciding to worry about me later.

She nodded "everyone is okay, no one got hurt. Leah had to go home, but she's been checking in on you. She was really concerned... the only one that was allowed. Just in case."

"you two didn't fight or anything did you?" I asked, both Leah and Rosalie were head strong, and I was worried that they would blame each other.

Rosalie smiled "no, I actually like Leah. It could be easier because I know she's not actively trying to sleep with you"

I nodded, going to answer when I felt my stomach growl. Rosalie perked up at that. "you need to eat. I'm sure your mother has plenty of options... she's been waiting for you to wake up"

"do you think I could shower first? I feel... dirty? Like im caked in blood and saliva..." i just felt real grimy, it wasn't something I liked. Even my month in Canada didn't make me feel like this.

Rosalie chuckled with a nod "come on, let's get you cleaned up."

Rosalie helped me up and into the bathroom before removing the bandaging that was wrapped around my torso. With all that bandage wrapped around me, I was half expecting to find large cuts and gashes along my body. But all I saw were the scars of bite marks across my upper arm and torso. There was some more claw marks on my hip, all of it looked terrible.

I slowly traced the scars, worried. Jasper told me how everyone judged him, avoided him because of it. Would I be doomed to have the same issue as him? Would the pack see the scars and try and get rid of me because they were scared?

"you're still beautiful" Rosalie whispered. I looked at her in the mirror catching the sight of my eyes. She was right they were different, not greatly but enough that I knew something was up.

I allowed Rosalie to pull me into the shower and essentially wash me.

I was replaying everything through my mind, the fight, the injury, the bites. What did that mean for me now? Obviously I wasn't a blood thirsty beast, but I had better eyesight and hearing, my sense of smell was even greater that I sneezed multiple times at the smell of my soap.

I didn't know what else changed and I was fearful to find out. I was afraid I wouldn't be a wolf anymore, that I would lose the one connection I had with my father, with my heritage.

"Alex? Are you okay?" Rosalie asked once again, not that we had gotten dressed. I looked at her a small smile on my face.

"yeah. As long as I have you, I really hope I can still turn into a wolf... it was my connection with my dad."

Rosalie gave me a gaze of sympathy "we can find out... but first you need to eat. It's been days"

We ventured into the kitchen to see my mom finishing a cup of coffee. She looked up instantly her eyes met mine immediately and she launched herself at me engulfing me in a hug. One I carefully returned.

"You're okay" she kept repeating over and over. I wanted to cry because I didn't know if I was okay, I didn't know anything.