Waxing Gibbous

Back (A)

I sat on the back porch of the Swan house, my head in my hands.

I wasn't trying to listen; actually, I was hoping for my mom and Charlie, hoping they would show up soon. I knew my mom wouldn't let Charlie be alone and I wanted to make sure he was okay. Or I wanted him to blame me, even though he knew nothing about the wolves or what happened. I wanted someone to blame me, to prove that it was my fault, to prove what my internal monologue was saying.

Hell, I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted. Peace and quiet or to rip a leech apart? Both or Neither? A sense of safety?

I just wanted to feel safe. It was so much safer when I didn't know about the wolves or vampires... it was safer in Alaska with my dad. I focused on the sounds of the forest and that lulled me into a sense of calm until I heard Bella say something.

"So, if you saw me go in, why didn't you see Jacob?"

I listened for the response, why was Bella talking about Jacob? I mean he drove her home, sure. I listened closely trying to figure out what they were talking about.

She continued. "It's true that I probably would have drowned if Jacob hadn't jumped in after me. Well, okay, there's no probably about it. But he did, and he pulled me out, and I guess he towed me back to shore, though I was kind of out for that part. It couldn't have been more than a minute that I was under before he grabbed me. How come you didn't see that?"

I ground my teeth violently. How could Jacob tell her that, how could she believe it. I pulled her out of the water, I performed CPR. It was a good deed, and I didn't need to be thanked but right not that sort of gratitude would probably do me some good.

It got worse when I heard Bella say. "See, well, he's... sort of a werewolf," she admitted in a rush. "The Quileutes turn into wolves when there are vampires around. They know Carlisle from a long time ago. Were you with Carlisle back then?"

I took off phasing into the darkness. Sam was the only one who was in wolf form, I guess he was waiting for me. I showed him everything. The Cullen's being back and Bella saying Jacob pulled her from the water. And in doing so I saw Jacob tell her he pulled her from the water. Jacob purposely claimed to be the knight in shining armor.

I ran.

And I ran, as far as I could get in the cover of the forest. i ended up somewhere in Canada way past the border. The voiced of the pack were getting thinner and harder to hear.

I couldn't fault Bella for telling Alice about the wolves, Carlisle knew and so did the others. And I couldn't fault Bella because she told us about the Cullen's powers.

I remember her telling me about Edwards mind reading ability; Alice's ability to see the future; Jaspers to change moods; Lucia's was a good fighter or something like that. Like she knew where to attack.

But despite the happiness Bella felt at having the Cullen's or Alice back it didn't change the fact that when she left, Bella would be broken again.

After I reached the limit of the pack link I turned back.

When I reached the boundary of La Push, I ended up at the Pack house. Everyone already knew one of the Cullen's was back, meaning we weren't allowed to search for the red head there.

There was no news on Clearwater's, Harry was gone, but Sue and Leah and Seth... no one knew how they were handling it. Billy was with them.

I glared at Jacob the entire time I was in the house; the others knew why I was mad at him. He didn't even look ashamed, only pissed that Bella was with a vampire.