Waxing Gibbous

Soul Questing (A)

The next few weeks I spent nearly all my time with the pack, learning how to phase and return to human form easily. Sam commented on how quickly I got it and was impressed, truthfully I was impressed too. I quickly became second-in-command, since I was actually the biggest, biggest as in tallest, the others looked much bulkier than me.

I got new clothes that fit correctly and only ran into Jacob, Quil and Embry on one occasion and it wasn't a pleasant one. No fighting occurred but I could see the glares, the look they gave me. Or rather the glares Jacob gave me, Quil was too kind to do that and Embry just looked sad and confused. It was clear they believed the 'cult' or 'drug' rumor.

I didn't like it but there was nothing I could do, they literally saw me in September, fine, normal, and frail. But now I cut my hair, walked around with Paul in a sports bra. Where everyone could see I was no longer skinny, but 'buff' it wasn't normal, and they knew it. I avoided all my friends in Forks, everyone. I hadn't even seen Charlie. Which was fine because he was busy with Bella.

While not on patrol I was at home and working on my finals. For art I finished my pottery, thankful I had a kiln at home, it was a dinner set, earth tones with a wave design. And then I finished my essay. Something stupid, but Mr. Berty was always impressed with big words. Eve offered to drop it off on her way to work. Despite everything going well, there was one thing that was still bothering me.

My Dreams.

They had not stopped since I phased, nor did they simmer down, they increased. Every time I closed my eyes I saw the valley, heard the voice. It was soon taking over my entire being.

'You must go to the north and go to the west. The road is rocky, and the way is far. It's a dangerous trail, a difficult quest... If you want to know who you really are.'

Flashes of a village, wolves, people. All filled my mind, like I was being shown what I was missing, what I needed to find.

'who are you?'

There were a thousand reasons to ignore the dreams. GO about my day, everyone I've ever loved was here in this town. Or was there someone out there just like me. Part of me longs to know, longs to go into the unknown. To follow the dreams to find what I'm meant to.

There was a tendril where the sky meets the earth, and it calls me. The wolf of my dreams waits patiently, calling me. I found myself running further and further north every day. I fought with myself sleepless nights until I broke down, I had to know.

The biggest issue would be with my mom. I broke the news after dinner. When it was just my mom and I, Eve was out on a date.

"Mom?"

"yeah" she replied looking at me from the spot in the kitchen.

"Mom, there's something I need to do and I'm hoping that you'll be okay with it"

This caught her attention and she focused on me as if she were trying to figure it out on her own. "what do you need to do?"

I swallowed a lump in my throat "I need to take a trip"

"a trip? Where"

"Canada"

Her eyes widened "why?"

"it's... I just have to. It's calling me, I have to do this. I've nearly crossed the border so many times but I couldn't do it without you knowing"

I looked into my mom's eyes waiting for any sign of protest but in the end she only sighed. "okay"

My eyes widened; I was not really expecting that. "Okay?"

She smiled softly "I know I can't stop you, and you need to do this. I don't like it, but I need to give you the chance... You're growing up and eventually you have to leave the nest, I have to be willing to let you go... And you're so much stronger now."

"thank you" I responded a sense of relief filling me.

"when do you need to leave?"

"soon, tomorrow"

My mom nodded. "let's get you packed and ready"

The next day I spent with my mom preparing for the journey.

The more packing I did the more excited I got. This was a chance to learn more about me and my dad, but also a chance to learn about my family, my people.

What ever happened in the end this was good for me.

The journey was long, but not as complicated as I thought it might be. I had a passport so I could easily cross the border before sleeping for the night.

I called my mom before I lost service and informed her I would try and keep in touch with Sam. I parked my car in a lot, before getting out and heading into the wild. There were plenty of trails to follow and plenty of places to hike-until I got too far in.

I looked out at the forest; I had a little bit of an idea of where to go. But the journey there was inaccessible by foot... for humans at least. With a deep breath I began my hike.

As soon as I got too deep in the woods for a human to see me I phased and ran. The landscape was beautiful. Blue water filtered through the deep canyons, i ran along the tops of the canyons, passed massive waterfalls and rapids. On several occasions i saw wild animals, bears, moose and even some wolves.

Like the dream said, it was dangerous. Sheer cliffs, humans, rocky routes, treachourous ice. The journey would be far more dangerous if I were a human.

I stopped when nightfall hit the first night. I decided to stay in my wolf form and leave my pack next to me. My mind was plagued with images, James- more red eye vampires.

'or you can turn back around.' James spoke

'run along home' another red eyed vampire said.

'back to the place where your friends are'

'perhaps that is best, you need the rest' Werewolves and vampires flooded around me. 'who wants to go on a ridiculous quest'

'unless you want to know.' Wolves surrounded the beasts, adding comfort and a sense of safety 'you truly want to know'

'unless you want to know who you really are' images flashed by too fast, wolves, bears, ravens, and the black wolf I was searching for. All of them looked at me with piercing eyes. Waiting for an answer.

Do I run or do I fight?