𝔇𝔢𝔣𝔦𝔞𝔫𝔠𝔢 (𝔏𝔢𝔳𝔦 𝔵 ℜ𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯)

XVI - No Regrets

tw: mentions of attempted self harm

"Approximately two weeks from now."

***

Fuming, I went back to my room. My head was all over the place.

Isabel, Farlan and Sam were all dead. I made promises with Levi, in which is nearly impossible to keep due to my transfer to Garrison. Not to mention, I have no clue how long I'm going to be there for. And Sam confessed his feelings for me moments before his death.

The others weren't made aware of his death, let alone Isabel and Farlan. And I definitely need to be careful bringing their names up not just for my sanity, but for Levi's too.

I sat on the edge of my bed, staring blankly across the room at what was Isabel's side of the room. Now that I wasn't in a dangerous situation, I couldn't help but break down.

They weren't coming back. I sob relentlessly as I go through the memories I had made with the bunch.

Isabel and her large smiles, the way she linked her arm with mine, her green eyes filled with so much glistening hope it seemed impossible.

Farlan and his admiration for Levi, how much he cared about the two he considered family. The advice that came in handy whenever it came into play.

Sam and his overprotective personality, trying his best to protect the three of us to the best of his abilities. The warmth that was so evident in his eyes as he looked at each of us.

As he looked at me.

The door knob twisted, revealing three boys and one girl. I look up at them between the fingers that had held my face.

"Y/N!" Hange exclaimed happily pacing towards me before stopping in the room. Her smile ceased as she glimpsed my tear stained eyes. "What's wrong?" She asked, hurrying to my side, Reece, Moblit and Zion quickly following behind.

"Do you know where Sam is? I haven't seen him since we split up in the formation." Zion asks. I muster up the courage to remove my hands from my face, but couldn't find the strength to look them all in the eye. So I resorted to staring at the floor through blurred vision.

"During the 23rd expedition of the Scouts Regiment, the majority of the Flagon squad and one of the Luca squad were wiped out by an abnormal titan." I take a deep breath, keeping my gaze glued on the floor. "Isabel Magnolia, Farlan Church and Samson Trayt were all killed in action as they served their purpose." I choke out as the room fell dead silent. The only noise sounding was my muffled sniffles.

"What?" Moblit asked just barely above a whisper. I lowered my head into my hands once again as Hange pulled me into her arms.

"If I hadn't hesitated so much, if I hadn't delayed in getting to them faster I could've helped them. I could've saved them but I couldn't! I couldn't do anything to keep my promise. I promised to protect them." I rant, the words falling from my mouth seemingly endlessly.

"I couldn't." I whisper, sniffling lightly. Three extra pairs of arms were wrapped around me as I sat there pouring my feelings out. None of them said anything, even though they were just as close to Sam as I was. They refused to show any emotion, no matter how much their eyes denied it.

"Hey. It's okay. We're here. We may not be them, but we're here regardless." Zion says. The most chaotic of the bunch was the one giving out gentle words.

"I love you guys." I mumble.

"Aw! We love you too!" Hange exclaimed with a bitter happiness, clearly trying to up the mood. I smile to myself, knowing they couldn't see it but they did know how much they truly did mean to me. It didn't occur to me until now that I needed to check on Levi.