Red Volkswagen || h.s.

The Lucky One

couple things before we begin:

1. Round of applause because we are welcoming LHH into the picture

2. as you may know, this is the beginning of part 3 of Red Volkswagen, i promise it will go by quickly, will not be as sad as you may think, and will set up a very exciting final part four of the story!

3. HARRY'S MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE.

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and they tell you that you're lucky but you're so confused, 'cause you don't feel pretty, you just feel used

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HARRY'S POV

"I don't know what to do."

"Shhh..."

"Mum what do I do?"

My voice cracks, and my mum is pulling me into her side.

I hear her sigh as I try my hardest to hold back tears, even though I have no idea how I have any left. I would've thought I used them all up in the last hour because they certainly didn't stop flowing.

"Before I can tell you what to do," my mum begins softly, "would you tell me exactly what's going on? Niall only had so much information. I want to hear it from you."

"That's– that's the thing. I don't know what's going on. I'm so confused."

"Just explain it to me as best as you can. Maybe it'll make more sense as you talk about it out loud."

I shut my eyes tight, trying to take a deep breath so I can actually speak without choking on my words like I have been.

"Two nights ago, we...we had a fight. I guess you could call it that. It didn't make a lot of sense. We had been at the hospital and hadn't slept and neither of us were thinking straight. She told me she was leaving at the hospital. We were sort of fighting there too and I think it just came out. I shut down. My brain refused to process the words. Half of me thought I hallucinated it.

"I didn't speak to her for a day. I holed myself up in Niall's room and was trapped with my own thoughts the entire time. They tortured me. And then I basically slapped myself in the face and told myself I had to talk to her. I had to figure out how to fix it. I went back to our room and she was about to go to bed, I think. And then that's when both of us just started spewing out everything that had been...building up. It was messy.

"We talked...well, yelled...about her going to Hawaii, it spiraled into going back and forth about how...how something wasn't right. She didn't want to stay here on tour for multiple reasons, but I of course wanted her to stay. Selfishly. I know it's selfish but I don't know how to do this without her anymore. I've done it before but I completely forgot how.

"Then...the fact that we wanted different things kind of revealed itself. But I don't know if what I said was true anymore. I said I didn't want to do distance again because it was torture the first time around, and she said she would do it if we had to. But I was so persistent. I kept saying I didn't want it. But now...

"I barely remember the rest. I just know I left again, which was stupid of me, to get some air and when I came back she was gone too. Then this morning, she actually did it. She actually left and I had to let her go and I don't fucking know what to do. I took back all my words but she didn't seem to want to go along with that. So I think I ruined it."