The Window Seat (badLuckbrides #1)

Chapter 20

Kathlyn

One Day Until Wedding

"Kathlyn!" Helen comes toward me with outstretched arms. We come into a warm hug. I'm glad she could forgive Simon for the little stunt he pulled—and I'm even more glad that she agreed to keep things between the two of us when I explained to her the situation, for both mine and Simon's sake. We just needed to get through this wedding smoothly and after that, whatever happens between Simon and James is between Simon and James. I couldn't care less if I ever saw him again after everything that's gone on. "I am so glad to see you, honey."

After Simon and I did what we did for the second time last night, I stared at him for a few moments as my brain tried to decipher what was wrong with me. As I tried to figure out what could possess me to cheat on my fiancé a second time. Then I balled up the mesh, cover-up pants he'd torn a hole in, and I ran away. I left him there in the cove.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't think he'd go after me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't lead him there on purpose.

I did.

A part of me wanted to see if Simon could let his desires dominate his inhibitions. If he could finally let go of control. He could. And apparently, so could I. Something happens to me when I'm near him, my body responds to him in ways it never really did before. In a way it doesn't even respond to the man I am marrying, tomorrow.

Helen's arm goes across my back as we begin walking through the banquet hall. Men in faded black t-shirts haul in round tables, gold chairs, and what seems like endless amounts of red flowers, but I'm sure once everything's settled in it'll look just like what I envisioned.

"So am I. Let's face it, Simon would have never been able to pull this off. That would have been a complete train-wreck."

"I'm sure." She drops her arm from me as we claim an empty corner.

"Thank you for everything. I know it was last minute and short notice and after everything that happened with Simon—a mess, but all the work you've put into this—James and I are just so grateful."

"Of course. Anything for you two. I'm just glad, for my sake, we got this resolved early enough. Simon was on the right track, but his organization was, sloppy."

"What do you mean?"

Her eyebrows raise as her ready finger dashes along the screen of her tablet. She opens her mouth, but before she can speak, Simon's got his hand on my forearm.

Surprised by his straightforwardness, touching me like that in front of so many people, I slowly move away from him. "Yes, Simon?"

"I need to talk to you, Kat."

I glance over at Helen who nods to me before she walks away. I'd go after her, but I know she's got a lot to do before tomorrow.

"Can it wait?" My eyes narrow at him. "We've got a lot to finish up here."

"No." He bites the inside of his lip, seeming anxious. "No, it can't wait. It'll be quick."

While everyone's deep in work or conversation, I follow him out to the parking lot. The sun is slowly creeping away, so no one should be able to see us chatting. I just want to get this over with. I'm sure he's come back with some pathetic, last-ditch speech to get me to reconsider.

I watch him pace slowly, as if what he's going to say is hard for him. He rubs the sides of his face and I continue watching on, waiting on him to spit it out.

"What? What did you bring me out here for?" My tone's impatient, but I think it's safe to say I'd run out of all the patience I had for him.

And then he finally stops still, peering up at me. "I'm out."

"What do you mean, you're out?"

"I mean I'm not doing this. I can't watch him marry you."

"But you're his best friend, you can't just miss his wedding—you're the best man. You're written in the program, it's all set that you're here tomorrow, so be here."

"Yeah, well I can't—I've already bought my plane ticket. I'm going home tomorrow."

"Simon." My head ticks to the left.

He licks his lips as his hands jet out to his sides like he's all out of words.

"What about James?" I ask. "What about, him? What's he going to think when he realizes his best man isn't standing beside him?"

He shrugs and says, breathily, "Fuck James."

"Well, what about me?"

"What about you, Kathlyn?" He comes toward me with dark, stormy eyes that I never knew he were capable of having. "You obviously don't care what happens to your career, to your name. I spent all week trying to figure out how to convince you not to do this and you won't listen. I'm all out of ways to make you believe me, there's nothing else I can do here."

"Is that really what this is all about? About him supposedly using me for fame, even though he's already ten times more successful than I am?"

"Will you stop to fucking think about it for a second? That is what he's doing."

"No it isn't. James loves me."

"He doesn't, Kathlyn! He loves the idea of you, but he doesn't love you."

"Is there a difference?"

He walks in a small circle as he takes in and releases a breath. I can see him thinking, carefully choosing his next words and then he stops and asks, "Just, why him? Of all the people you could have chosen, why James?"

"I love him. I'm in love with him, and you don't choose who you love, Simon. You just, do it."

He steps to me, staring hard into my eyes like he's expecting me to twitch or tremor, but I don't. I stand straight and confident like I've got something to prove to him because apparently I do. If not to him, to myself.

"I don't believe you."

I toss my head back in frustration. "Jesus, Simon!"

"I don't. I mean considering the past two nights we had, that's complete bullshit."

"Well what about you? You wouldn't put so much effort into breaking us up if it were really that simple. If it weren't because you still have feelings for me."

"Whatever, Kat—" He goes to turn away and I snatch him back by the hand.

"No, not whatever. Tell me the truth, Simon."

He yanks his hand from my grip and scoffs. "It is whatever at this point. And if I did still love you, so what? So fucking what? Would you drop everything, then? If I told you I loved you more than he ever would in his whole fucking bullshit life, would you stop all this? Would you leave here with me?"

I cross my arms over my chest, dropping my eyes from him. I can't look at him. He's so angry with me that he doesn't look like himself, and he wants me to answer him? To answer a question so hypothetical.

Is it hypothetical? Is it even a question at all?

I couldn't think about it. It was still hard, even after all these years, to picture myself with Simon again. I'd told myself I'd never go back...but that was before I knew I'd get another opportunity. One I still don't have by the way he's acting.

He let go of a hard breath that signaled he was giving up as he turned away to walk to his car. I hear his keys jingling as he pulls them from his pocket.

"Come on, Simon—"

He slams his door before the engine quickly starts and I watch him back out of the parking space.

"I want you there." I sigh, bringing my hands to my cheeks. "I need you...somewhere in my life..."

I did. He was always supposed to be there, but not as a best man. He was always my groom and now he isn't.

And now, he's leaving.