The Window Seat (badLuckbrides #1)

Chapter 19

Kathlyn

Marla and I talked all last night about Simon. She gave me the standard motherly responses, including, but not limited to, "It's normal to feel confused," and "Whatever happened on bachelorette night, should stay on bachelorette night." But none of it made me feel better because none of it was true. It wasn't normal to be so confused I jumped onto a mans' lap, and what happened on bachelorette night definitely did not stay on bachelorette night, because it's stuck in my head.

Guilt is slowly creeping in like a storm cloud. This morning, I tried not to think about it because I was too busy living out one of my bucket list dreams—while worrying about Simon having a mild heart attack as he hurtled through the sky. But it's catching up to me now, and every time James touches me I flinch.

After skydiving, I told Marla what Simon said about James. She responded with a brief pause before she told me she only saw love in James's eyes when he looked at me and to keep my chin up.

But was it possible? If we divorced, would it be great for our careers, even if it was a sandstorm on my life? And Simon doesn't know anything about our lifestyle. Where would he get that idea if it weren't something James said to him?

We were meeting James and the guys at some private Laguna Beach resort. He rented out a clubhouse overlooking a cliff. Glass walls, a full bar, an infinity edge pool with a swim-up bar, a natural waterfall, and a grotto. I assume the girls and I will be the only one's getting wet. All of the guys will probably show up in sleeveless tee shirts with his James's brand logo on them for photo purposes. Typical, James. Turn what's supposed to be a fun beach day into a photo session of everyone having a luxury day in his merchandise before it drops.

I'd been waiting all week for a relaxing day at the beach, but now I want to fast forward straight into the wedding. I can't keep facing Simon after bachelorette night.

"This is so beautiful," Aspen says as we enter the pool area. It was. I had to wander straight to the fence to stare out at the ocean. Oddly enough, I'd rather be out there. What use is a pool when there's an entire beach just below us? "Well the gym was a bust, but I can at least get a nice tan in."

I catch her slathering heaps of tanning lotion down her slim body.

Holding onto a big sunhat, Evelyn comes out of the club house sipping what looks like a blended margarita. "I wish James's cousins were even remotely attractive. I'd have snatched one of them up so quick. I need a life like this."

"I did see the one with the glasses staring at you," says Ashlyn, applying sunscreen to her cheeks.

"The one who kept spitting when he talked?" Evelyn points her finger at the back of her tongue. "No thanks. There isn't enough Bailey money to keep me from planning his murder shortly after I marry him."

I allow myself to barely smile, listening to them laugh and giggle while insulting my future in-laws. I don't care. None of this feels real anymore.

I hear their steps plunging through the shallow edge of the pool, but I can't break myself away from the view. I have too much on my mind and a bad taste in my mouth. I've avoided any contact with James out of fear he'll smell Simon's Infinite cologne on me, even though I scrubbed my skin raw after he touched me. But I still smell hints of him from time to time, like I missed a spot.

"Kath." I jolt from the sound of Ashlyn's voice splitting my thoughts. "What's going on..."

I take a breath. Ashlyn had a sixth sense. She always knew when I'd done something. And I wanted to spill.

I wanted to tell her what went down with Simon. How I was so confused that I couldn't think straight. How I knew it was a mistake, but I didn't exactly feel like it was one.