Whoa Baby

Chapter 36- Not Knowing Is Better

Whoa Baby

Chapter 36- Not Knowing Is Better

"'My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.'

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'

The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'" -Cherokee Proverb

It was the typical after church ritual. We'd get home, eat, and then depart our separate ways. Since there were tons of left overs still from Thanksgiving, my mom told JC before service started to stay for lunch. It was kind of hard to say no to my mom when she doesn't give you the opportunity to.

Everyone was doing their after church thing anyways. Dad snoozing in front of the TV watching reruns of Law and Order SVU. Mom upstairs napping or talking on the phone. SJ in his room playing with his toys. Me, sitting at the table looking through magazines. If JC wasn't still around I'd be in my room, under my covers, and reading.

He was though, surprisingly. I thought he would have booked it out of here when it was left to be just the two of us just sitting at the table, but he stayed. Leaning his chair back, playing games on his phone. Dress shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows along with his sweater. The only time of the week I saw JC look remotely put together and well dressed. Flannels, leather jacket, and tee shirts in different colors is what his wardrobe seem to consist of.

I tried though, making up small talk, but something of course was still bugging me. Thanksgiving to be more precise. I spent a few days thinking of all the possibilities as to what Aubrey and JC were up to. I didn't want to know though. I just wanted to draw some lines. Just like he did with me the day on the front porch when I asked about his mom and dad.

"So what happened to you the other night?" I question, looking up from the magazine slightly.

"I went out for a smoke." He replies after a few seconds to think about it. "For thirty minutes?" I snicker. I wanted to believe him, but at the same time the lie seemed so stupid.

I see him run his tongue over his top teeth, crossing his arms as he looks up from his phone annoyed. "Alright, spit it out." He demands, knowing I was beating around the bush.

I sigh, tossing the magazine to the side and crossing my arms over my chest. "Look I don't care who you date or who you make out with or who you bring to bed. That's none of my business."

"Correct." He agrees, nodding his head determinedly. It irked me that he spoke to me that way and interrupted me, but I let it go.

"But you could at least give me the respect and have some common sense to not do anything with my family or my friends. Boundaries JC, boundaries can you respect that at least? That's all I ask." I say sternly. Before he could speak up I held up my hand so I could continue, "And don't tell me anything. I don't want to know if you did or didn't do something with Aubrey, because if you tell me so it will be more of a struggle to try to forgive you."

"You really think that low of me?" He scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"With your notorious reputation, yes, yes I do." I said in a heartbeat. Not thinking twice about it. Not sugar coating the fact. Not trying to cover it up and lie.