Whoa Baby

Chapter 39- To Being Parents

Whoa Baby

Chapter 39- To Being Parents

"-for teaching us that there's no such thing as a perfect parent. Just a million ways to be a good one." -Cheaper By The Dozen 2 [Nora Baker]

I held the baby in my arms, letting the tip of my finger brush the side of his soft pale face. His eyes would open once in a while, then flutter close only to open them to stare at me. Day two and I already found him the most precious and interesting person in the world. Someone could walk in, steal anything from the room while playing the drums and I won't even notice. I was so transfixed on his face or little hands.

The only way to get me out of said trance was what JC did exactly. Touching the baby and snapping his fingers in my face as a wakeup call. I found him hovering over the side of the bed, fresh clothes on and a slight anxious face. Nothing new.

"Hi." I finally greeted, looking back down at Colton to see if eyes open and trying to look over. The curiosity he had already amazed me.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." He starts off. I look up to him, seeing that he had a serious face on. Planting a light kiss on Colton's forehead I sat up, placing him in the baby bed just for a few minutes so I could pay attention to what JC had to say. "Where are your parents?" He asks, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"They went home to get changed and eat. They should be back by noon. What did you want to talk about?" I ask, informing him on the little things.

He took a deep breath, watching me carefully, "I just want you to know, I'm here for you and the baby. Whatever you need. I'm as much responsible for him as you are. I may not have agreed with you or was ever on the same page as you ninety-nine percent of the time, but I am now. I'm not just saying that because the baby is here now or because I feel sorry, I'm telling you this because nine months ago I made a mistake. You were right, I didn't own up to my mistakes like a man or deal with the consequences. Fear can sometimes cloud your judge just like any other powerful emotion. I guess I just didn't want to admit it to myself that I was reliving history like my parents. Most importantly, I'm sorry for everything I told you last summer. I was a jerk. I should have respected your decisions and understood your intentions. What I'm really trying to get out here is that I just don't want to be a father. That guy that's around but never really cares. I want to be a dad. I wanted to be that guy that's around and teaches our son how to ride a bike or throw a ball; make sure he's tucked in at night and doesn't drop out of school. I want to be at his sports games or whatever hobby he decides to pick up; I want to be around for that. I thought I didn't, I thought I couldn't do it, but I want to because we both don't know what we're doing, and that's alright, we'll learn on the way. I was scared that I wouldn't know what to do, but I'm more scared of not doing anything."

I rubbed the corners of my eyes, wiping the tears that leaked out. He shifted on the bed, distracting himself as he looks down at the blankets, drawing imaginary things. "JC, that... I'm speechless." I whisper, daring to look up at him with wet eyes. Without thinking about it twice I wrap my arms around his neck. The third time I've hugged JC.

It's like hugging is a foreign physical embrace because he was hesitant, as he was last time when I hugged him. Hugging him was comfortable, like hugging your very own large stuffed bear. Though I could feel his pulse and hear his heart thumping, it honestly could have put me to sleep right then and there if it wasn't for Colton whimpering no more than a foot away from us.

"I want to hold him." JC mutters, standing over the mobile basinet he laid in.

"Nuh uh. Not until you wash your hands." I warn him, holding up a finger before he could he put his hands near the baby.