Chapter 1: Nothing At All

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July 31, 1980

So much has changed over the last few years. Regulus was gone and no one knew the real reason for his death... or if they did they weren't saying anything. One day he was alive and the next day he was just gone. The grief threatened to tear me apart from the inside as I missed the boy I once knew, but I had to keep going. I had to stay strong for Sirius. He pretended his brother's death didn't affect him but I knew, deep down, it did. Severus and I hadn't spoken since his last day in Hogwarts. The Malfoys had written me countless letters, especially after Regulus died, but I couldn't bring myself to respond to them. Even Tom Riddle had written to me. Though, these days, he seems to go by Lord Voldemort, but I can't bring myself to call him that. I can practically feel the pain in their letters jumping off the page as Narcissa, Lucius, and Bella begged me to write them back. Their worry was scrawled over the parchment as they wondered what happened to me, but I couldn't bring myself to respond to the letters as Severus's words rang in my head every time I opened a new letter.

I stood in the living room of Godric's Hollow, holding a small baby boy. Sirius stood next to me, his arms wrapped around my waist as he looked down at our Godson.

"He's beautiful, Lily," I said, looking up at her. She was resting in her bed, James bringing her a glass of water as Sirius and I stood near the bed. Lily beamed proudly as Sirius and I couldn't take our eyes off of the small boy in my arms.

"Welcome to the world, Harry," Sirius said as Harry wrapped his small hand around Sirius's finger.

An owl swooped through the window, perching on the nightstand next to Lily's bed, looking at me with expectant eyes. I instantly recognized the owl and the black envelope. Green detailing around the edges and a wax seal with a snake all easily recognizable. I sighed, handing Harry to Sirius, who happily took him, before going to the owl, taking the envelope from its beak and it flew away immediately. I could feel all eyes on me as I turned the letter over in my hands, sliding my thumb under the flap and pulling the parchment from the envelope.

Dear Y/n,

It's been years since we've heard from you and we're all a bit worried, though Severus seems to be the most worried. He won't admit it but he paces around the room every time we write to you and when the owl returns he waits for hours to see if you will write back. I've caught him crying in his room twice. He just keeps saying "I never should've let her go." He doesn't say anything else but that. We know you're getting the letters because the owl returns every time without the letters... or, at least, someone is getting these letters. We just want to know you're alive. I'm not sure what we did to make you ignore us, Y/n but I'm sorry if we ever hurt you. Please just let us know you are okay.

Cissy

I felt all eyes on me as I placed the parchment back inside the envelope and closed it.

"Y/n... what's that about?" Sirius asked me, looking at the envelope in my hands.

"Nothing," I replied, walking toward the fireplace. I tossed the envelope into the flames. A tear slipped down my face as the flames licked the parchment, swallowing it whole. "It's nothing."

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