Love me till the end

Chapter 21

I stayed at the same stop until I heard the doorbell ring. I wasn't sure what I will be saying but the truth needs to be out.

Jessica opened the door and led then in the living room. There was no noise whatsoever outside the bedroom door, I wonder if Tyler came along with him.

I left my bedroom and went towards the living room. Tyler was sitting at the edge of the bed while Ryan was pacing through the room. He stopped as he saw me. I was searching through his eyes for any guilt but all I saw was sorrow. Just looking at him made me more guilty. Jessica stood near the kitchen counter.

"Sasha, I am sorry." Ryan ran towards me and hugged me as if I would run away. But I couldn't return the hug. I pushed him back. He told me how he was cheated but he did the same thing to me, I don't know how to react.

"Ryan, why did you cheat on me? I remember you telling me how you were cheated on, and you were broken over it. " I didn't say anything more because I was on the verge of tears. Tyler came by and stood next to me. He was holding my shoulders to console me.

"Ryan, what did you do?" Tyler demanded. There was anger and I could feel in his hands on my shoulder. It was as if he was trying to control himself.

"Tyler, I don't know, I wasn't thinking." Now he looked at me as he spoke. "I wasn't sure what you and I had but I didn't think it was serious, it's only been a few days. When I saw the look in your eyes when you saw us, I noticed then that you were pretty serious with me."

"Serious?" now I was furious. How could he not think like that, I haven't given him any indication whatsoever. "Who was she?"

"Anna." He looked down as he spoke.

"So you got back with an ex even though she cheated on you." I was confused more than ever.

"I guess I never got over her, every time I see her, my heartbeats, I resented her for some time but as she came to my office to apologise again; I couldn't resist her."

My tears started falling freely and I didn't bother cleaning my eyes. He loved her even though she cheated on him. How can I hate him when all he wants is to be with his true love.

I closed my eyes so I could stop crying even more. Tyler continued to hold me and even though I am not looking at him, I could feel his chest going in and out as he breathes. His hands kept rubbing from my shoulders down to my arms. He touch was more than enough for me to control my tears.

I felt something for both the brothers but I couldn't understand what.

"Did you feel something for me at least?" I said it in a low voice. If I knew the truth, maybe I can move forward.

"I am not sure, " his words stung. I had fallen for him since I saw him from Mia's birthday, I couldn't take him out of my head even though he told me about her ex, I was very happy when he wanted to date me but he didn't know if he had feelings for me?

I removed Tyler's hands from my shoulder and went back to my bedroom. I threw myself on the bed and cried. Here I thought I would tell Ryan about me and Tyler but just hearing him make his confession to me was breaking me from inside.

I heard my door knock but I didn't answer. Two minutes later the door unlocked and someone came in. Judging by the footsteps, it sounds like Tyler.

"I sent Ryan away, I figured you wanted time, " said Tyler. He came by the bedside and sat on the floor. He held my hand once again but didn't speak. I cried until it turned into slow sobs.

"Did you ever feel anything for me after we kissed?" I asked when I was sober enough to speak.

"I always felt something for you Sasha, but I was in denial until I kissed you, " he confessed calmly.

"Then why didn't you say something? Why did you push me towards Ryan?" My voice was getting louder in irritation if he said something back then, we could all have saved ourselves a heartbreak.

"I didn't push you, I assumed you wanted to be with him. That kiss was a mistake but from your side, because you were hurting at that time, you weren't thinking clearly, but that kiss was magical for me. I couldn't destroy your feelings for Ryan so I took a step back from you." He explained why he was being so distant from me.

"But when you kissed me, things changed for me. I was lying to myself when I was with Ryan. I thought my fantasy came true, " I sat up because I was growing more and more irritated with the brothers. "It was a fantasy, nothing more. You became truer but I wasn't sure what to do."

I pulled him towards me in the bed and sat on his laps, I cradled onto him like a baby.

"You love Ryan, and there is nothing we can do about it. I didn't want you because you wanted my brother. I am sorry he hurt you like this, " I could hear the anger in his voice.

"Ryan cheats on me, but I cheated on him before. I kissed you knowing I had feelings for him and I think it's high time he knew the truth." I said in anger. I moved from his laps and sat a little further from him so I can see him.

"You kissed me before you both started dating. And clearly, you guys don't love each other anyway so what's the point?" his voice was getting louder. What Tyler was saying had a point but I can't keep a grudge on Ryan for doing something I already did before. He loves Anna and I pushed him towards me. He was always in love with her, I came in the picture at a wrong time.

"But I do love him that's why I need him to know I don't resent him for kissing her. If he loves her, he has the right to be with her. It's their matter and they need to sort it out." For once after all day resentment and guilt, I felt at ease. I have chosen the right thing to do. "When you love someone, you always want them to be happy."

"Where does this leave us at Sasha?" I knew what he meant.

"I love Ryan, and I am not sure what I feel for you, but one thing I know is that I am not ready for anything more at the moment. I want to concentrate on my work and move on. And when the time is right, I will let destiny decide for me. I can't hurt over something that wasn't mine, to begin with. I am sure who I feel more for but this needed to stop right now."

He bought me closer to him and held both my hands in his hands. He was staring at me but I couldn't get my head up to see in his eyes, I was afraid I would give in and break my heart all over again.

"Sasha, I know we have bought you a lot of pain, but the only reason I didn't confess my love to you because you were in love with my brother. If he wasn't in the picture, we would have been together long ago." He was in pain, Ryan's confession made me angry but I let it go immediately because he deserved to be with someone who he loves. But Tyler's confession bought me more pain because if I say yes to being with him, I wouldn't just be betraying myself, I would be betraying Tyler too. "I just want to know one thing before I go, do you feel anything for me?" I looked up suddenly, searching his eyes for what he's expecting.

"Yes, I do feel something for you, but I am not sure what it is. And to be honest with you, what I feel for you doesn't matter because I can't be anyone right now." He simply nodded left without saying another word and I didn't stop him. I guess he needed to be alone to process what I just confessed. One thing I knew for sure, Ryan loved his ex-girlfriend more then he realised, and Tyler loves me more than I know.

Later that night, I decided to text Ryan and I forgive him because he loves his ex more then he knows and all he replied was endless texts of sorry and explanations.

I wish Mia was here with me, she would know exactly what to say. All of a sudden, I felt a shivers run down my spine, I made a mistake getting my hopes high when I got to know about Ryan's feelings towards me. It was a mask from his side and you can never really know what's under the mask if you don't know the person in real.

I woke up the next morning, feeling more tired because of the lack of sleep but I had to go to work. I can't be a slacker just the first the of work. I had a lot of people to impress and if I wanted to get to where I deserve to be then I had to move on a faster pace.