"What's depression like?" He asked.

What makes me happy?

I'm not going to write a long introduction to this chapter. Simply because it doesn't need one. What makes me happy, what helps me through a bad day? 

***

1. Music. Music helps me through every day. If you want to know what I listen to, you can always ask me in the comments or through a PM.

2. Writing. Which is maybe a bit obvious, but writing chapters like this force me to realize that there are good things in this world.

3. My friends. Nothing to add to that.

4. People who say that I have helped them cope with problems, make them re-consider life or simply meant something to them in some way. It puts a smile on my face.

5. Poetry. Any kind of poetry, whether it's writing it or reading it. It makes me calm.

6. Nature. Trees and mountains and all that. It's just peaceful.

7. When I've resisted self-harming. Maybe a bit of a dark one, but when I've resisted self-harming, I sometimes manage to be proud of myself. To think of myself as strong, which is a great accomplishment for me. 

8. Every time I manage to go outside without panicking or wanting to go back in. When I have fun without thinking about other people's opinions about me. It makes me happy not to care. 

9. Baby animals. Yup, who doesn't like baby animals and gets warm fuzzy feelings inside when you see them.

10. Watching a movie with my best friends whiles eating pizza and making bad jokes about the characters. It's my favorite thing to do and my favorite place to be.

11. Working in the tattoo shop. Being around those people, doing the things I do there, it all makes me extremely happy.

12. Good food.

13. Visiting places I've never been to, to do things I've never done before. Feeling like there's more to life than feeling crappy.

14. Sunrises and sunsets.

15. Waking up before my alarm and knowing I can stay in bed for a couple more hours.

16. Coffee. Coffee makes me very happy. 

17. When I get compliments about this book or any of my other works. I appreciate you guys' opinions so much and love to hear it when you like it. It really means a lot to me.

18. When artists curse in pop punk songs. I don't know why, but for some reason this causes a lot of adrenaline and headbanging... call me crazy.

19. Reading good books. I'm currently reading Looking for Alaska and have been liking it a lot so far. PLEASE NO SPOILERS.

20. When I make a joke that people laugh about. I don't see myself as funny (mainly because I'm not) but sometimes I manage to make a comment that makes other people (outside my friend group) laugh. It makes me feel accomplished and... funny. 

21. Alex' dog. Mason just makes everybody happy.

22. Getting new tattoos. It's so exciting, everyone should try it. 

23. Re-reading WDLHA and seeing all the comments, the progress and the things we've shared together. 

24. Live concerts. Do I need to say more?

25. Seeing things like gay marriage being legalized. It just gives me hope that maybe one day everyone can love and accept each other, regardless of what race, sexuality, height, interests, etc.

26. Being able to continue to the next season of a serie when I've finished one. That's why I'm a dedicated binge-watcher.

27. Screaming along to lyrics of my favorite songs.

28. Band merch. I love walking around showing others what I listen to. I'm very dedicated to my music, it's  one of the only things I'm not ashamed of liking. 

29. Knowing that some of you are smiling reading this list :) And if you weren't, then you better smile right now!

30. Finishing essays I put a lot of time in and getting a good grade for them. I'm insecure about nearly everything, including school, so when I get shown on paper that I don't suck as much as I think sometimes, it makes me happy.

31. Making a decision and sticking with it. 

32. Standing up for myself (in the rare occasions that I do so).

33. Defending topics that are dear to me: overcoming depression, living and beating self-harm, accepting people's sadness, accepting LGBT youth, etc. I have a lot of passion stuffed inside of me. 

34. Dancing at a party with my friends without caring about anybody else. Shoving my anxiety aside, overcoming it for a while, and just letting myself go. Making me feel alive, making myself feel happy and being okay with that.

35. Remembering Mason. It makes me both happy and sad. It's confusing, but something that makes me happy too and that's why it's included here.

36. Writing WDLHA and knowing that some of you still aren't bored of it. I am proud of this book. Not of all of it, but of some of it. Of what it has done for some of you, for what reason whatsoever. I still feel insecure about it. I wonder if it's boring or monotone or simply not what anybody wants to read these days. I wonder if I'm complaining too much or sharing too much or sharing too little. I wonder if I should quit or continue. This book is a constant struggle with myself, but it makes me happy to write and see what it does for some.

37. You guys. This... community. This group of people that have gathered, feeling sad, but supporting each other. Trying to remember that life can be good, trying to overcome negativity together. You make me happy, every day. By sending messages, writing comments, voting, reading, letting me know that you've read it, that you've gotten something from it (or maybe not) and that you've liked it. That you still like it. That you still like me and that you will be happy someday.

***

I ask you all to create something like this on your own account too and post the link here in the comments. I'll try and read as many as possible, vote and comment. 

- Kyran