Perfect Double Suicide ~Dazai Fanfiction

#13

Chapter 13

"Yes...I am in love with you Dazai-san"

He looked at me like he was seeing a ghost. "But why? Can't you see who I really am?"

I finally stopped crying and laid my hand over his right cheek. "That's why I fell in love with you Dazai-san. You said you were showing me an image of someone you're not. But I think you showed me who you really are. The person you are showing now, that's the one that isn't real. I can see it in your eyes" I went gently with my thumb over his cheek. "Your eyes always tell me what's going on inside your heart. It's the only part you can't change about yourself. I know who you truly are, and you are no cold blooded murder" His eyes started to fill up with tears, as he grabbed my wrist and buried his cheek deeper in my hand.

"Stay with me Dazai-san, just be at my side and I'll protect you from this part of yourself. I'll... I'll be your cage"

A single tear ran down his cheek, when he grabbed my chin and pulled me into a kiss. I was taken by surprise, but let it happen, closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck.

Yeah that's right, I am in love with him and I won't deny that any longer.

"Does that mean you'll stay with me?" I whispered onto his lips and he pulled my hair back softly, making me tilt my head and look up into his eyes.

"Do you even have any idea what you're asking for?" He looked deep into my eyes, his grip around my hair got a bit stronger, as he clenched his teeth. "Could you even take me at my worse? Wouldn't you just run away like before?" he started jelling, I could see it wasn't in anger, he was in some sort of pain.

"I'll hurt you, I might even kill you! Or I'll get you killed!" He kept shouting, I felt like he was talking about someone he lost. Maybe someone he held dear, that has died a long time ago.

"Dazai-san...look at me" I said softly and he looked down to me. "Even if you are going to kill me, I won't even step backwards. I promise you, that I will never leave your side. I'll accept you for who you are and not run when your dark side comes out. I'll make it leave again" I saw him fight the tears that were trying to come up again. He pressed me tight at himself and buried his head in my hair.

"Maybe I'll learn to love you too, I'll give it my best" He whispered and I smiled. "It's gonna work all out, you'll see...Bunny"

"Bunny?"

He loosened the hug and looked surprised at me. "Yeah I will call you Bunny sometimes from now on, it's a cute nickname for you" I said and smiled, he thought for a moment and then smiled back. "I'll stick with sweetheart, it suits you well"

He helped me up and we started walking back to his home. When we passed by Chuuya on the ground, Dazai said to just leave him like that. He would wake up and get lost. That was fine by me, I hated him anyways. But seeing him reminded me of a question that needed to be answered by him. "Say Dazai-san, did you and Chuuya ever had something sexual?" He looked like he was hit by a lightning. "How the heck do you- Ohhh... He told you when he killed me in that future right?" I blushed and nodded. "He also said that you- well... You used to be with lots of people and stuff-" I blushed a bit more, being pretty embarrassed about asking that.

"Well, I was and no point in lying about it now. I also been with Chuuya for some months, when we were together in the Mafia. I was still a teenage and discovering my sexuality, the same was for him so we went along with it. But I got tired of a guy and decided I am not gay" He explained and smiled. "Don't worry, I am into women and not man, nor both. If that's what you're concerned about" I nodded "I understand, but I was more disgusted about it being Chuuya, I kind of hate him" I growled the last part and Dazai laughed. "I do too, believe me! I am glad we are on the same terms, I do must say he knew how to blow" I almost chocked on air when he said that. He laughed out loud and laid an arm around me. "I'm sorry, I keep forgetting how innocent you are sweetheart" I blushed a bit more, as we walked up the stairs together to his door.