Island of Lies (18+)

36

Tiptoeing around the house, even though I'm alone and Collan's nowhere to be found, I gracefully walk towards his bedroom.

The door were left ajar so I balance Brio on my hip and walk in. I settle his little bum down on silky sheets that smelled like Collan, I started snooping around searching for his most private documents. Birth certificates, proscriptions, bills, medics...

Carefully, I search through his shelves, drawers until I find something.

Behind his gray walls is a little pull that isn't noticeable, not until you actually look at it. Pulling it towards myself, it doesn't open a secret room. No.

But it opens a little space where the stock of paper sheets is held. Curiosity killed the cat they say.

Of course my curious ass started obssesively looking through his belongings. They smelled like old paper but freshly printed book too. His whole room gave off a masculine vibration.

As if the God himself was placed in there.

It was very clear, no sharp objects. Minimalistically arranged certainly it's not up for my liking, but for a hookups it's a great place. Not too much stuff to clean, but of course he's not a maid. He has his own servants that cook, clean and decorate around his house and backyard.

The show off in his marvelous kitchen was something else, I wouldn't be surprised if that was one of his tricks to get into women's panties. But I didn't mind. I enjoyed the sight of his well-trained back cutting up the vegetables, mixing up all herbs and spices and of course moving around the kitchen like a carefull, sexy jagger was something I didn't mind.

Not at all.

Sensitive fingertips that I have, touched every piece that he owned in that room of his. Closing my eyes and inhaling the beautiful smell he left behind, my knees weaken making me feel like an easy feather that could easily fly off somewhere else if you blew into it.

Cologne that he used was very sharp. The scent leaving the indelible trail that now had a special place in my brain. It was permanently stored in brain matter of mine.

I wished...

I actually wished for one touch.

For one simple look...

I longed for that feeling of being cherished. Yes, there were certain men lusting over me for years, carefully eyeing my every move, but lust wasn't enough.

I wanted a fireworks. An atomic bomb of cautious, crazy emotions that stirred and passed through your veins, every capillary, every blood vessel... The want that grew in me day by day, slowly started extinguishing me.

The pivotal point for me was when I realised... I couldn't opt for one. There was no soultion for my situation, the place I was in. I couldn't think clearly without stammering, without sweating or freaking out. I couldn't decide if I was blinded by madness like he was... I couldn't destinguish if I loved or obssesed over Collan.

They say there's a thin line between love and hate... But they never explained the difference between obssesion and love. It kills you the same way, you act the same way, but you're sicker...

Way more sicker.

You follow them, their routines, their likes and dislikes, you learn about them like a toddler that learns about life and new changes in it...

Exepct you do it in unhealthy way.

Possesiveness is an ugly shit that warms up in your heart and becomes a normal part of you and your partner's life. The toxicity is normalized because today...

We don't have lust and love. We only have a pure obssesion that costs you your biggest accomplishment in your life.

Your true friend, soulmate.

Your love.