Fire and Ice

Chapter 24

The fear of being taken again kept me from going outside. I stayed in Rex's room all the time.

    I didn't have an appetite anymore. Rex tried to get me to eat little things like pudding and Mac and cheese, but I can't eat much of it.

    The nauseous feeling would come back everytime I put something in my mouth.

    My nightmares would wake me up in a cold sweat every night. Rex would be there to hold me and reassure me that I was safe. But I couldn't forget about everything. It haunted me.

    My whole life was ruled by fear now.

    Jet walked up behind me a few days ago and I freaked out. I need Rex to be around me all the time.

    He's the only one that makes me feel truly safe.

    Sitting here on the sofa wasn't helping anything. But I didn't know how to help myself.

    Sigh.

    Looking at my phone I let out another sigh.

    I had unread texts from Dr. Connor. I haven't been in for weeks.

    Feeling tears run down my face I pulled my knees up to my chest. What was wrong with me?

    All I could think about was what happened to me.

    First it was my mom. She treated me like shit and burned her terrible words in my head. Made sure I knew I wasn't worth anything. Made sure I knew I wasn't lovable.

    She ruined me as a child.

    Then it was Ollie. He drugged me and tried to rape me. I thought he was actually nice. And then he went and did that.

    I also witnessed Rex kill someone. With all honesty I was being nosey and followed them. But it still fucked with my head.

    I dropped out of college. I packed up all my stuff and left. Erik even helped me move. I just couldn't face them. I was so scared of what they might do.

    Of course they found me. They saved me. Rex saved me from Ollie.

    But then I got kidnapped. I was stripped down to almost nothing. Photos were taken of me. A man touched me!

    I felt so humiliated and confused and horrified.

    Fear always ruled people. Fear made people think twice before doing something. Fear made us smart.

    So why was I always getting hurt?

    I basically let fear rule my life. But I was always getting hurt.

    I didn't want to rely on someone else to protect me. But Rex was the only one I felt safe with now. I only wanted to be around him.

    My brother probably felt horrible. I didn't want to avoid him. But I didn't want to freak out again. I didn't want to leave the safety of this house.

    But this was where I was taken...right in the kitchen...

    Was I safe anywhere? Would I ever be safe?

    They'd be able to find me again! They'd be able to get me in the middle of the night...they'd be able to kidnap me again...

    And if they're able to kidnap me again then they'd take me far away from here. They would take me away from Rex. Somewhere he'd never be able to find me...

    I couldn't let that happen. I...I had to leave! I'd go live with Thomas. Or...or Erik. I'd stay with my dad!

    The couch sunk down beside me and I yelped. But then I noticed it was only Rex.