I Fancy You: James Sirius Potter

56. Matters of the Heart

June at Hogwarts always makes for nice days to sit outside to study for end of the year exams. Alli, Desmond, and I spent pretty much all of May helping the rest of our friends catch up with classes. James started taking classes more seriously after his birthday. Daniel and I got him a new broom for his birthday but I made him promise me he'd study harder so he is.
All of us, including Scorpius and Albus, are out by the lake studying today. James has his head in my lap and Daniel is leaning against me. I really feel like I have two boyfriends sometimes.
"I can't believe we'll have to take NEWTS next year," James says while looking up at me.
"Yeah and then school is completely over," Alli says with a sigh. The realization that we're not going to see each other every day anymore after school is over sets in. We all look around at each other. My eyes begin to burn, my heart sinking to the bottom of my stomach.
"We'll all still be friends, right?" I ask.
"Of course we will," Desmond says with a smile. "You're not getting rid of us, Ellie."
"Good," I say. Trying not to cry I look down at James who's smiling up at me then I look over at Daniel who's looking at me like I'm the whole universe wrapped up in one person. I then look over at Albus and Scorpius who are looking at each other with so much love I feel invasive just for glancing in their direction.

Summer has come so quickly it's like the school year happened in a blink. Alli and I are hugging so tightly at kings cross station I think we might have broken each other's ribs.
"Make sure you write me! And make sure you make time for me," I tell her.
"Of course!" Alli pulls me away from her and looks into my eyes. "Stay out of trouble."
"Impossible," I say with a laugh. She laughs with me then says goodbye to me then to Daniel.
I turn to James who's nervously waiting for me. I jump into his arms and let him spin me around. While wrapped around him I whisper that I love him and he tells me he knows. I give him a kiss on his cheek then wait for Daniel and him to say their goodbyes.
To my complete shock I watch them hug. A genuine, care filled, hug. "See you this summer, mate," Daniel says to him
"Yeah, whatever," James says with a smirk and a wink. They bump fists then Daniel comes over and wraps me in his arms.
"That was cute," I tell him with a smirk.
"Just trying to make that threesome happen for you," he says winking. I hit his arm and laugh. I give him a kiss before he walks me over to my family. "How's it going?" Daniel and my dad shake hands then walk off talking, Amelia already clutching Daniel.
"You'd think that's his son in law already," my mom says rolling her eyes. She embraces me in a big hug then kisses my head. "Hello miss almost seventh year," she says smiling.
"Oh don't remind me I'm not ready to not see my friends everyday anymore."
Both of us turn and see something neither of us were ready to see. Dylan kissing Annalise goodbye. It's just a kiss on the cheek but mom and I both can't seem to breathe or pick our jaws up. Dylan is starting to head towards us so we both turn and try to compose ourselves.
"Hey mom!" Dylan hugs her and she holds him close.
"Hi my baby," she says practically smothering him.
"I am not a baby mom!" Dylan says struggling to get out of her grip. I try not to laugh.
Daniel grabs me from behind and gives me a sweet kiss before handing Amelia to me. "Okay, I'll see you soon. I have a surprise for you by the way," Daniel tells me.
"Oh! Okay! Well I can't wait to find out what it is. I miss you already. Come over soon please?" I hold onto his shirt, pulling him close.
"I promise I will. I love you," he tells me before softly caressing my face. He kisses Amelia on her head then waves bye to my family. My heart swells watching him walk away.

I wake up on the first day of summer break with a small little lump under my blanket with me. I smile, pulling Amelia up to my chest so I can cuddle her. Her sweet face smiles up at me.
"Did you sleep here all night?" I ask her. She just giggles and nods. "How about some breakfast?"
"Still sleepy!" She yells then throws the blanket back over herself. I laugh and get up, letting her stay there to sleep.
Walking downstairs I can hear Dylan talking to dad before he leaves for work. I know I shouldn't but I stay around the corner to listen.
"I think she's my girlfriend now," Dylan says. "We've kissed and held hands."
"You still need to ask her to actually be your girlfriend, Dylan. You can't just assume," dad tells him. I find myself nodding and the roll my eyes at how stupid I must look just standing around the corner nodding to myself.
"I will! Just don't say anything to mom about it she's already weird about me growing up."
"What about Ellie?"
"I'll tell her. She can keep a secret. She's my best friend." My heart practically beats out of my chest. My baby brother thinks of me as his best friend! It makes me so happy I'm almost sad.
I decide it's safe for me to come around the corner now so I walk into the kitchen and pretend to look groggy. "Morning," I say yawning.
"Good morning," they say in unison. Dad kisses both of our heads, grabs his toast then has to leave for work. Dylan yawns then hops off of the stool he was sitting on.
"Did he show you the new rooms he's added to the cottage? He's pretty proud of them," Dylan says before getting out breakfast stuff to help me.
"Oh yeah, he wouldn't stop talking about how complicated it was," I say giggling. "Amelia didn't sleep in her new room last night though, she was in bed with me when I woke up. I'm sure Annalise would like the new guest room though," I say with a grin.
"You spy," he says with a scowl.
"When are you going to officially ask her?"
"Probably when she comes to visit this summer with Alli."
"That's pretty big. I'm happy for you," I tell him. And I mean it. He smiles big at me then we start breakfast. Halfway through mom and Amelia come down to help.

This summer day is beautifully sunny. I'm sitting down by the pond while reading a book when I feel someone looking over my shoulder. When I look behind me I'm shocked to see James.
"Hello," he says with a smile.
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be on a camping trip?" I smile and run to hug him.
"We decided to go later in the summer this year. Dad is pretty busy at work. Plus I wanted to invite you and Daniel this year," he tells me. The mention of Daniel's name suddenly makes me very aware of how I'm still holding onto James's waist.
"You want to invite Daniel?" I ask with an arched brow and a grin.
"Actually I've already invited him. He wanted to surprise you himself but he told me just to go ahead and tell you," James walks over to where I was sitting and checks out the book I was reading.
"It's still really odd to me how you two started out hating each other and now suddenly you're best buds," I admit.
"Yeah well... we both just want your happiness more than anything so." He lays down in the grass and I plop down next to him. "We both love you," he says after a while.
"I love both of you," I tell him with my eyes closed. I feel his hand lightly touch mine for just a second. "When is the camping trip?"
"Next week. Will you come?"
"Yeah I'd love to." I look over at him and realize he's been staring at me. "You two look so different yet you're both the most beautiful boys in the whole world," I meant to only think it but I couldn't help saying it out loud. James shakes his head with a smile.
"Daniel is much better than me in every way, trust me."
"Why do you think that?"
"I know it, Ellie. Anyway, I'm glad you guys are joining us. I'll see you next week okay? I have to get back home." He helps me up and gives me a kiss on my cheek before I walk him back to my fireplace to get him back home.
The weight of his words hit me. Daniel is better than me too. Daniel deserves someone who isn't in love with two people at once. James probably thinks Daniel deserves a friend who isn't in love with his girlfriend as well. I feel my heart sink down to my knees, breaking at the thought of being capable of hurting Daniel.
"You okay?" I jump when I hear Dylan behind me.
"What?"
"Are you okay? You've been staring at the empty fireplace for like an hour," he says exaggerating. "And you're jumpy."
"I'm not jumpy, you snuck up behind me."
"No I didn't. I've been making noise behind you for a while."
I shrug and walk over to the couch, slouching down. Laying my arms over my stomach I ignore everything around me and let myself think more about Daniel and how much I don't deserve him.