Fire and Ice

Chapter 1

The nightmares were back. And I didn't know how to make them go away again. It's been five months. Five months without nightmares, waking up in a cold sweat, or waking up gasping for air. But here I was.

    Taking a deep breath in I tried to calm myself down. The damn nightmare was the same one everytime. And I hated thinking about it.

    My body wouldn't stop shaking. If anyone would walk in my dorm right now it would look like I was having a seizure. A really bad one.

    I didn't know what triggered it. Anything could've. But I couldn't think of anything that might've done it.

    My life has been nice and calm after coming back. My therapist told me that I shouldn't stress much. Stressing myself out would make the healing process worse. So I've been taking things easy. Avoiding parties. And doing my work like I should. I've been stress-free.

    When my body finally stopped shaking I grabbed my phone. Telling my father about this wouldn't end well. So I decided to text my therapist. She never told my dad about our sessions. It was against protocol or something like that.

    But she helped. Talking to her always helped. It took things off my mind, helped me process things better. She gave me advice and some technique's I should try. Most people would call her crazy. I call her a lifesaver.

    Me: Hey Dr. The nightmares are back...

    Dr. Connor: Really? What happened to make them recure?

    Me: That's just it. I have no idea. I was doing so good....and then BAM! They're back.

    Dr. Connor: Hmm...have you been going out any?

    Me: No. Not at all.

    Dr. Connor: That could be the problem, Camellia. You might need to go out and socialize. You've been cooped up with nobody but yourself. That alone could make you think about anything that could trigger those nightmares.

    Me: I thought going out would trigger it?

    Dr. Connor: Maybe going out is just what you need.

    Me: Okay. Thank you Doc.

    All of this was just so confusing. Everyone told me that going out would make everything worse. That I should stay to myself.

    My therapist even went as far as to make sure I didn't have a roommate. Which I thought was a bit excessive. But if she thought it was what I needed, who was I to object?

    My classes aren't small. And I feel absolutely fine around the crowd of students. They never look at me. None of them seem to even notice me. And that's what I love about it.

    People didn't mess with you unless you asked for it. It was nothing like middle or highschool. College? It was either you were invisible, or you asked for attention.

    I wasn't stupid. I knew the crowds I had to stay away from. The ones that asked for attention. The ones that everyone gossiped about. I might not talk to anyone. But I'm very observant.