A Light in the Dark (Severus Snape x OC)

Chapter 23: Chaotic Hands

The next few months passed painfully slow for Severus. He felt more alone and hopeless than he ever had, and he constantly had knots in his stomach over Laura. He hadn't heard from Laura since the beginning of January... it was April now. Severus even resorted to sending muggle mail to Laura but never received a response. Severus was so desperate for news on Laura that he reached out to her aunt, but his worries only grew when Grace hadn't heard from Laura since January, either.

Over the past few months, Dumbledore had confided his growing suspicions to Severus that Umbridge was going to try to takeover Hogwarts, not that it wasn't obvious that those were her intentions. Umbridge soon succeeded in her mission, sending Dumbledore into hiding.

Severus recalled an earlier conversation he had with Dumbledore. Severus was irritated that Dumbledore took the fall for Harry Potter's creation of Dumbledore's Army.

"Dumbledore's Army!" Severus snapped. "How could you take the blame for this? All for that bloody Potter!"

Dumbledore stood, calmly, looking at Severus. "Trust me, Severus. Everything will be fine in the end. Umbridge will not be here to stay."

Severus laid in bed that night as the memories flashed through his mind. "Everything will be fine in the end," he whispered to himself.

He repeated those words again and again, hoping those words were true, but not just for Hogwarts, but for Laura, too.

Severus stared at the ceiling, feeling overwhelmed. He didn't feel like things would be fine. Umbridge had taken over the school and Voldemort was still asking about Laura. Voldemort would grill Severus about where she was, what she was doing, and her family.

Her family... could Voldemort know? Is it possible that he knows what Laura is or what she might possibly be?

Severus pushed the thoughts from his mind, trying to let sleep overtake him.

Severus felt loneliness filling him whenever he was awake. The only bright spot in his life was the cat that never seemed to leave him alone. The cat refused to leave his chambers, as if it sensed he needed a friend that wouldn't judge him. Severus gave up trying to kick the cat out, so he named her Felicity and bought a cat bed, even though Felicity only wanted to sleep in his bed.

One early Saturday morning, Severus walked the halls of Hogwarts, feeling the gloom that had invaded the castle. He felt he needed to escape the castle that had become so dark and depressing. Without thinking much, Severus left the castle, not entirely sure where he was going. All he knew was that he needed to be anywhere but there.

Severus apparated to a busy muggle district of London. Despite hating muggle cities and muggles in general, Severus needed to be away from school, away from witches and wizards, and no one would recognize him there. He walked around the muggle streets, which he found that he didn't mind them as much as he thought he would. Severus walked by a variety of shops, glancing in windows as he went.

Severus stopped walking when he peered into the window of a jewelry store. He saw a ring on display; a ring with a princess cut black diamond, with small, white diamonds encrusted onto a white gold infinity band. Severus stared at it, feeling like he could have gotten lost in the deep, black color of the center diamond, but pulled back out by the small bright diamonds. When he saw that ring, he thought of Laura's eyes, with their deep green color, that deep green color that could pull Severus into her soul, for him to never find his way out, but those bright flecks rescued him every time he thought he was getting lost.

Severus continued to stare at the ring, wondering if this was the right time to buy something like that. He kept staring, hearing an onslaught of doubts and concerns beating into his brain: She'll never say yes... She'll never want a poor half-blood like you... What if she wants children? You would be a terrible father... You have too much darkness in your heart for someone like her to ever want someone like you... It's too soon, anyway... Oh... what if you turn into your father?