Chapter 17

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I get home the next day and find Rose sitting at the table.

If I couldn't concentrate before I talked to Edward, after seemed to be ten times worse.

"Being an adult sucks," I say, putting the envelope in front of her.

She watches me for a few seconds before picking it up. "You're just figuring this out now?" she asks with a laugh. I watch as she reads over the papers. "Oh, fuck," she says, completely surprised.

"Yeah."

"Are... this is what you wanted, right?"

I startle because I can't believe this was something she'd think I'd want.

"Want? This?" I stand up because every ounce of me feels like a live wire.

Does he think this is what I want?

"Oh," she says sarcastically, raising an eyebrow. "So, you just want him to be stuck in some weird in between. You can't forgive him, but you won't let him go, either?"

I have never thought of it this way.

"Bella, he did what you asked him to, but this has gone on for way too long. You're not the only one who has been hurt by any of this."

"Why now?" I ask, deflated. "Rose, is there someone else?"

She rolls her eyes at me but all I can think about is him and Tanya at the wedding.

"Why does it suddenly matter now, Bella? Is it because it isn't your choice?"

I wait for her to continue but she changes her tone. She is concerned now. "Hey, I know this is hard, but you need to figure out what it is you really want. I love you and you're stuck with me, but he is my family, too."

I see the pain in her eyes. "I'm sorry I keep putting you in the middle of this," I say, sitting back down.

"It's okay. If this one is anything like her aunt," she points at her belly, "I'm in trouble. The practice is nice."

I let out a laugh, but I'm suddenly sad. She has always been there for me, and I miss her being my friend. I wipe my eyes and take in the moment.

She nods. "Hey, he's in town for a few more days. Call him"

"Thanks, Rose. For everything." I stand up and walk to my room.

Sitting at my desk and I stare at my phone, trying to figure out if I should really do this.

I think back to the words Edward said to me today when we talked.

Sure, he told me his side of things, but where does it leave us?

Should I sign them?

Do I want to?

With a deep breath, I pick up my phone and hit send next to Edward's name.

He picks up on the third ring, "Bella?"

His voice is weary, and I'd be lying if hearing him say my name doesn't stir something in me.

Loving him was never the problem.

"I... Rose told me you were still in town. Is it okay to come see you?"

I wait, holding a breath for him to answer. I hear his muffled voice, but then he says, "I'm actually at our... the apartment." His apartment, the one we lived in before we left for Spain. "You can come by whenever you want."

The memories of that place, things we did together and the plans we made... it all seems so far away.

"I'm on my way. See you soon."

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