Giving Up On You (Kim Chaewon ff)

D-4

Your P.O.V.

"God, you've gotten so pale and thin." dad concerningly told me.

I didn't respond, I was just staring out the window. It was very cold and the only thing keeping me warm was Chaewon's hand, which she refused to remove from mine.

Lately, I've been feeling empty. Maybe it's because of my body, or maybe because I haven't eaten or slept properly since I was either crying through the pain or vomitting in the bathroom.

But last night, I couldn't. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but just before I can, I heard cries. It was Chaewon's.

"D-don't leave me..." it was a mere whisper, but I clearly heard how desperate she was through her voice.

When she held my hand, it was shaking. It shattered my heart into pieces how she tried to put up a strong front whenever I was awake. And now when she thought I can't see her, she breaks down.

"I can't live without you..." her cries silenced as she grabbed my hand, and placed a long and tender kiss on the back of it.

It was all that I could think of up until this morning.

"Good morning, Mr. Park." Chaewon greeted.

He nodded as a reply and sat down at the couch.

"Thank you for staying with her." he said.

"You don't have to thank me, sir. I will stay with her, no matter what happens." she firmly stated.

The doctor came and checked up on me. Whenever they came here, they would convince me to just take chemotherapy for this. But I was consistent in rejecting.

After they left, I expected dad and Chaewon to stay silent as usual. But the latter spoke.

"Y/n, why don't you want to cure your cancer?" she kept her eyes on the ground while holding my hand.

"Please, there's still a chance for you to survive. If you would just--"

"Chae, don't." I cut her off and met her eyes, which were brimming with tears.

Before she can talk back, I felt like puking again. I rushed to the bathroom as I held back a gag.

My stomach felt like it was being squeezed as I threw up. I should be used to it by now, but I swear everytime that I would trade anything just to make the pain go away.

Still, I stood up afterwards and tried to act like nothing happened. But I felt weird.

"Y/n, what's happening?" Chaewon's voice echoed in my ear.

My head was spinning and my vision was getting blurry. I felt my body getting lighter each second and my legs could almost give up. I tried to hold onto the wall for support, but before someone can even assist me, I fell to the floor, then everything went black.

I slowly opened my eyes as I felt the soft sheets embrace my body. It took time for my vision to clear again, then I saw dad pacing back and forth in front of me while Chaewon was gazing out the window beside me. Her eyes were very red that I think she had been crying while I was out.

"What happened?" my voice was still hoarse but I managed to speak properly.

They both snapped their heads at my direction and let out a sigh of relief.

"Y/n..." my dad almost collapsed down a chair beside me.

"We were so worried... You passed out after you vomited, and... We called the doctor and... Y/n, your body might not take this any longer..." Chaewon's lips were quivering as she explained, obviously trying to hold back from crying.

"I think it's best that you take that therapy. Whether you like it or not." dad demanded.

I was about to object but his phone rang so he went outside and took the call. I just sighed and mentally rolled my eyes.

"If you just listened to us then--"

"Then what?! Then I wouldn't be suffering now?" I raised my voice at her.

"Yes, Y/n! If you weren't so hard headed in the first place then you will at least be a bit better now!" she yelled back.

"Oh, please Chaewon. Stop acting like you actually care!" I fumed.

"Because I do! I'm dumb and I made a mistake but I still care for you!" I stopped and stared at her after hearing those words.

"You're the most important person in my life and you think I would let you go after doing such a stupid mistake?" she cried out.

"It's not just that--"

"Then what?!" her tears were nonstop flowing down her face but she kept her voice strong.

The sight that was unfolding in front of me made me very vulnerable. My anger immediately vanished and all that's left now was hurt.

I know she made a big mistake before but she's here now, and I still love her. So seeing her like this softens me.

"Chae, I'm dying." I can't help but tear up as well.

I don't want to leave her. I know how painful it would be, but wouldn't it hurt more if I stayed a bit longer, with hopes that I will survive?

She wiped her tears and sniffed as she calmed herself. For a while, we both stayed quiet. She was just watching me as I looked outside.

I almost flinched when her warm hand gently held mine and she cleared her throat.

"When I look into your eyes..." I averted my attention to her when she started singing to a tune.

"It's like watching the night sky, or a beautiful sunrise...."

"There's so much they hold..."

I felt my heart beat faster as I listened to her sing while keeping her gaze and hands on mine.

"And just like them old stars..."

"I see that you've come so far..."

"To be right where you are..."

"How old is your soul..."

Her voice was very calming. It made me remember the time when she would sing me to sleep every night.

"I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough..."

"I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up..."

She breathed deeply after, taking my hands and placing a kiss before keeping it on her cheek.

I gave her a smile, the biggest I can muster, and cupped her face.

"You don't have to fight for me." I muttered out to her.

She chuckled and it sounded much like an angel's.

"I have to, Y/n." she replied.

"Your life is worth fighting for."