EDEN | Yoonmin

twenty-six

twenty-six

the following is a collection of diary entries of park jimin

_____ 🌿 _____

day 10

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journal entry oo1

My first week in Eden passed by quicker than imaginable; It's funny how the time flies when you're having fun - although I don't know if fun is the word I would want to use. I am enjoying my time here, however, don't mistake me. I love the time that is spent with him.

The days are starting to blur together. I can hardly tell how much passes here. It's like being in an alternate reality where time stands still or moves at a rate that I can't comprehend.

I'm still waiting for the shock to happen - the part where everything comes crashing down on me, and I realize just how insane all of this is - but then I see him, or he looks at me and I know I can never leave him. Leaving him would be like dying all over again, I can already the agony I'd be in, and the feeling is weird and indescribable because I know that I am not the one who's hurting. I am not the one longing to hold him for all eternity, but I want that. I too want to hold him close, and cherish him. I know he could never let me go either (not that I would want him to) God, I am a wreck. My reactions are the furthest from normal, and yet with everything that had been happening to me, being reincarnated doesn't seem all that crazy. Some days I wish it didn't make sense though. Some days I wish I could be normal.

journal entry oo2

The nightmares have stopped. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that i'm no longer sleeping alone (however waking up alone is not my favourite thing. I wish he'd be there when i woke up) how pathetic of me, seeming like a lovesick teenager

journal entry oo3

I've made sure to keep in touch with Jin and Jungkook. I still haven't given them all the details of where I am. I plan to tell them when I go back, but for right now, I'd like to avoid their wrath. I really need to be smarter about my decision making...one of these days I'm going to get myself killed if I'm not more careful.

I don't know how they're going to react to all of this (I mean, obviously they're going to think I'm crazy) but...i don't know...i don't want them to be disappointed in me...

journal entry oo4

I've been having flashbacks more recently. My dreams have stopped playing on a loop like they once did. Memories of my past are mingling with those of my current life that sometimes it's hard for me to tell what's real and what's the past. I passed by a statue the other day, and suddenly I could remember the day he brought it home. We'd fought about it all day. I thought it was ugly - and it still is ugly. I suppose the only reason he kept it was because he knew how much I hated it.

We've been spending more time together, too. Ever since I admitted that I didn't find his clinginess annoying, he's stopped distancing himself from me. He's still trying his hardest not to overstep my physical boundaries - I can tell that as we grow closer, he wants to hold me more; touch me more. It's not a sexual intimacy he craves, just a physical one, and there's a part of me that doesn't want him to hold back. Not having that sort of intimacy when I know I could put me at war with myself. I want him, there's no denying it, but it seems wrong to give into the past without knowing what I'm getting myself into first. He knows this too, he knows that things won't be the same, especially because I don't remember. He's trying to make me feel as comfortable as possible with what's happening. It's really nice that he's not living in the past, and that he's willing to make exceptions and move around...well...me.