A Love Like Death - BNHA

Chapter 16

~ Three days before surgery ~

- Izuku's Perspective -

Everyone knows now and I mean everyone. Somehow the whole school found out. Rumours spread like wild fire. Everyone thinks it's Ochako which I'm okay with. They all assume she rejected me for Tsu and I honestly feel better about them thinking that than knowing the truth so I told the girls to let people think what they want to. Anything but the truth. Spare me that embarrassment in my last few days. 

I act like I'm dying but death might just be better. I could forget more than just Bakugou. He's been such a huge part of my life for so long. I'll be forgetting almost everything. Having him gone- will there be anything left for me to remember? 

I've spent my days mulling over that thought. Soaking in my wallow is probably not doing me any good but Sensei seems to be cutting me some slack and whatever I learn I might possibly have to re-learn in a week anyway so what's the point? 

I can't even leave the dorms without being flooded with pitied looks and whispers as I walk past. Some people even hate me. Talk about how I'm such a waste and shouldn't have joined UA if I knew I was sick. They say I took someone's dream from them. Maybe their right. Maybe I should just quit. But what good would that do now? I've come so far.

This is the cycle in my head. Over and over. I'm already so tired. 

I can hear the faint sound of the bell ringing for the end of school, days seem to be over much quicker now. I get up and leave my room, locking the door behind me. I don't want the girls to see the mess it has become especially after they cleaned it last week. I'm living a hermits life. I'm living a lie. Only three more days till it's over. I won't even remember being like this. Will I be the same? 

~ Two days before surgery ~

So close.

~ Day before surgery ~

It's Saturday. Guess I can't hide in my pit of despair. I crawl out of bed, coughing out a bit of blood and few loose petals as I put a hoodie over my blood stained shirt. The petals don't even hurt anymore. I smile in the mirror and my teeth are thickly coated in blood so I rinse my mouth and smile again. My eyes look dry and puffy, they've looked like that all week though so that's no surprise. I look thinner though, much thinner. I'm going to have to work out a lot harder after this to build muscle back. 

I hop down the hall trying to seem like I don't look like death even though nobody is around to watch me act a fool. I take the stairs and regret it immediately when I notice someone stood in front of me on his own way down. He looks at me like he's seen a ghost. He's been looking at me like that all week. 

I smile at him and I can tell my lips crack but I do it anyway. Something to push down the urge to cough. He just looks like everyone else. So full of pity. 

"Don't look at me like that Bakugou." I say and his eyes widen like he's been punched in the gut. "It's not natural."

I chuckle emptily and hop down the stairs. The common area is full and everyone quiets down a bit when I walk in. All giving me the look that I might collapse if they were to breathe in my direction. I walk over to the kitchen as fast as I can with a smile trying to nod at people and assure them I'm fine.

I don't know how to act around them anymore. My best friends seem alien. If I cough the room falls silent and everyone stares. If I trip at least five people come to my rescue.

I don't make eye contact with anyone as I walk over and take a seat on one of the couches. If I go upstairs they send people to check on me, so staying down here is just easier. I sip at my water while watching the News. 

"Reports of the rare 'Hannahaki disease' skyrocket as more and more teens-"  Someone flicks the channel over to some cartoon and I can tell everyone is waiting for me to react.

What do they expect? 

Do they want me to cry every time it's mentioned?

Breakdown every time I cough?

I want to get angry and tell them all to just back off but I know they mean well.

I get up to leave when I notice Shoto and Shindo walk in and sigh in relief. The only ones who still treat me like a human. Thank god. I smile at them, not to reassure them, not for them in anyway. Just because I can't help it. They walk up to me, giving me small smiles in return.

"Walk with us?" Shoto asks pointing to the front door and I nod following the two of them out. "How are you feeling? It's tomorrow right?" 

"Yeah. I'm a bit nervous but I'm relieved it will finally all be over." I walk between them looking around at the trees. 

I feel calm around them. I know neither of them see me as fragile or weak. They sees me as a person, they talk to me like a human. These two have been exactly what I needed throughout this and I can't thank them enough. I hope I'll remember how grateful I am for them when I get the surgery-

"Todoroki-"

"Shoto!" He says with another small smile. "For the millionth time Izuku-"

"Y-yeah, sorry. Shoto-" I chuckle. "I just wanted to thank you- for helping me. You and Shinsou. You've both been amazing." 

"What are friends for?" He says but he looks pained.

"Don't go forgetting us." Shinso smiles.

"I'll try."

"That's good enough for me."

I walk on a bit trying to keep my head up. I won't forget them. And I won't forget Ochako. I can't.