A Love Like Death - BNHA

Chapter 13

- Midoriya's Perspective -

I look over at Todoroki but he's looking at the floor. I can't tell if he's bracing to give me bad news or if he's just upset. Upset because I'm so weak? Or upset because I wake up and that's the first thing I ask him. I know I should care about myself more. Ask what recovery girl has said. Ask what's happened while I was out. If the whole school knows, but- I just don't care enough. I'm a goner at this point. I would just rather die and not give him the satisfaction of knowing it was because I'm hopelessly in love with him.

"No." Todoroki utters under his breath. 

Thank god.

"Good." I say with a sigh, letting my shoulders fall from beside my ears. 

"Is that all?" He asks plainly and it feels like a shot through the stomach. 

"What-?" 

"Nothing I just- I thought you at least cared about yourself. Even a little. Enough to ask what they're saying about you. Enough to ask how many people know. Enough." I've never seen Todoroki get like this.

"Todo-"

"How many time do I have to tell you to call me Shoto." He sighs. 

"Shoto. I- I'm sorry. I just. I don't know okay? He's all I think about. Ever. I know that seems hard to understand but-"

"No it's not hard to understand at all. I know how you feel." He seems to calm a bit and look up at me. "It's fine. I get it. Just please, take care of yourself too okay?"

He leaves without another word and suddenly I'm alone. The dust dancing in the air around the spot were he was sat a moment ago. I glance to my clock to see it's quarter past ten, maybe I should get some sleep. It's Tuesday tomorrow I think. Oh- wait I don't need to go into class anyway. Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to that. I think having something stay normal would have been nice. Too late now. 

Half an hour goes by when I notice a shadows stood outside my door. Two small shadows of someone's feet right there and they don't move. They're eerily still. I stand up slowly walking towards the door but when I place my hand on the handle to open it I hear a sigh and freeze. The shadows shift a little bit then steps away. I hear footsteps receding and think about opening the door but something stops me and I back away. Once again, alone. 

- Bakugou's Perspective -

I press my face up against the wood of his door. Hannahaki. Seriously? I think to myself as I curse internally at my unwillingness to press the handle down and yell at him for not telling me. But why would he? Why would he tell his childhood tormentor? Why am I so mad that he didn't? 

I run my fingers through my hair, my ring getting caught so I have to yank it out. There's a noise from inside. Has he noticed me out here? Damn. Is it too late to leave? I stand still as I hear his small footsteps slowly getting closer until they're on just the other side of the door. I wait to see what happens or maybe I waiting for him to do something I don't have the balls to; open a damn door. 

The handle juts slightly. He's holding it I can tell but he's not opening it. 

I sigh, loud enough for him to hear. Neither of us have the balls to open a door. I feel like laughing. Or maybe it's not laughter. Just something crawling from my stomach to my throat before it gets caught and no longer wants to come out. I look around and realize this is hardly private. If someone was to walk in and see me staring at Deku's door they might think I'm planning to kill him, so I start to walk away. Slowly, so that if he were to open his door he'd know it was me who was standing there. 

But he doesn't.

If he did what would that gain? It would mean nothing to him. He would simply shrug and go back to bed. Why do I insist on thinking I'm of any relevance to his life anymore? To him, I don't exist. To him, I am a memory drenched in fear. To him I should be nothing. 

I shrug off the feeling like that means anything, like any of this means anything and I storm up to my dorm. I don't get any sleep though. Not for a while at least. I stare at the ceiling wondering;

What's he thinking?

He must be so alone. 

When did this all start?

Why did I do those things to him?

Who's the girl?

Who's the girl?

Who's the girl?

Who's the girl his heart aches for?

Why do I even care?

- Midoriya's Perspective ~ The next morning -

The sun beams directly onto my face as I struggle to open my eyes. I must have left the curtains open last night. Scolding myself, I groggily get up and whip them shut before grabbing my clock and holding it up to my face trying to read the time. 

9:52 AM

Everyone has definitely already left for school then. I stand up and stretch a little, eyes still adjusting as I head over to my desk for a seat to check if I have any emails from Sensei Aizawa. There's a small pink piece of paper taped to my laptop.

'Hey Deku!

Sensei said that you shouldn't do any work today. :(

I'll be bringing text books tonight he wants you to start tomorrow! For today just take it easy okay! 

Be safe ~ Ochako! <3'

I smile a little at the little wonky heart drawn at the bottom of the paper then frown realizing I have absolutely nothing to do today. I would clean my room or do my laundry but they did that all yesterday. I sigh, scrunching the paper into a tight ball and throwing it in my bin. 

The day moves slowly. I spend most of my time texting Ochako or Mina but when they stop responding I realize I got them in trouble so I start reading some manga. It feels like I've been trapped in my dorm a decade when there's finally a knock at the door. 

"Come in!" I sit up in my chair putting the book down frantically trying not to look like I've spent all day in that same spot. 

"Young Midoriya." All might walks in with Recovery girl in tow.

"A-All Might? Why-" 

"We need to talk Izuku." Recovery girl says waddling over to my bed and plopping herself down while All Might looks proud but also a bit creeped out at all my All Might merch. "It's about- your situation." 

"Yes, you need to listen very carefully and think about this seriously. We've allowed you to take too much time and mess around and it's getting very dangerous." All Might says suddenly focused on me with a very stern look on his face and I can feel myself physically shrink into my seat.

"You need surgery or you need to give up One For All." Recovery girl says quickly, ripping off the band aid.

"What?"