Trapped

30

Jiyong

I'm staring at the woman who makes me do stupid and uncalled-for things as she laughs with one of our friends.

It was good inviting Junsuke over. Without him knowing, he was helping me big time.

"Just eat your tart." I hear Se7en Hyung scold as he pushed me my plate with a barely eaten tart on it.

"Hyung."

"Do not start with me Jiyong." He glared at me. It was the very same glare he gave me years ago. He took his glare away from me and stared lovingly at the woman who he treats like a little sister even though they were the same age. "She never did anything wrong. You on the other hand." He let his words hang in the air as he stood up and walked toward Junsuke and Dara with a plate of tarts.

He was right.

Dara didn't do anything wrong. It was me. I was at the wrong. It was my fault.

It was all my fault.

Having secret relationships in the industry we were in wasn't something new and neither was having one with a labelmate. I knew a lot of lovers who were under the same management. They were the type of people to guise their couple OOTD under the pretense of 'its a company thing' whilst the people who knew would back them up on the lie.

And Dara and I were once part of those people.

The years I spent with her were probably the best years of my life. She was the perfect girlfriend - well, minus the fact that she couldn't cook for her life. But I liked it.

I liked seeing her look cluelessly at the pans and pots.

I liked it when I get to see her fumble with the wrong spices.

I liked it when she mistook sugar for salt.

I liked it everytime she turns her head to my direction - asking me for help when she realizes she was already doing yet another futile attempt at cooking.

I like it when I get to hug her from behind to teach her how to do things in the kitchen.

I wasn't someone like Youngbae who really knows how to cook. But at least I was better at it than Dara.

Behind all those cameras, Dara and I were normal people.

We were people in love.

"Jiyong-ah." Youngsoon Noona's voice brought me back to the present. I looked at her and smiled. I didn't care if it looked force. "Can you do me a favor?"

~

I was standing in front of a wall of sanitary napkins in the worst case scenario.

(1) I had no mask on so passersby easily recognized me.

(2) People were boring holes behind my back.

(3) And there was a camera filming such an embarrassing moment.

But I didn't care.

It was for Dara.

"Can you make a visit to the supermarket and buy Dara a pack of sanitary pads? She asked me if I got some extras but it so happens that I've used them all."

I once again took a deep breath in and looked through the colorful wall of sanitary pads of different brands, shapes and sizes in front of me.

I began looking for the pads that I remembered Dara used.

This might be the first time I bought such a necessity for Dara but we were in a relationship for a few years - of course I knew what the brand she uses was!

'Is that G-Dragon?'

'What's he doing in front of sanitary pads?'

'Is this some sort of game show? Why's a camera filming him?'

'Being filmed while buying pads as a man has to be embarrassing.'

'Shh, shut up! He might hear you.'

I sighed.

Of course there would be curious people. They've never been absent from anything before. What was I thinking hoping for a peaceful trip to the woman's section?

"You okay GD-ssi?" The camera man asked with a worried expression. I could see that he really wanted to spare me the embarrassment of buying such a thing while being filmed but it was his job. He could get scolded or fired if he didn't follow the instructions given to him.

"It's fine ahjussi." I smiled and continued on my quest to search for the brand of sanitary pads Dara uses.

Do they not have them?

I've been looking for a while now but I still couldn't find the right ones.

"Excuse me?" I turned around to see a young woman wearing a simple white shirt that had the supermarket's logo on it. "Do you need help?"

She looked tensed so I smiled while scratching the back of my head. Thankfully, she began to relax. I recognized her as the woman who was arranging some packs of product down the lane. I think I've been standing here longer than the usual person would so she decided to come and help.

"Yeah. I seem to be having trouble looking for the brand she uses."

I told her the brand as I continued to browse the shelves. She was quiet so I decided to look back at her. The supermarket staff seemed to be surprised. She looked at me for a few seconds with furrowed eyebrows. It felt a little uncomfortable so I asked her what the problem was. 

"Oh! Nothing. It's unusual for a man to know which brand a female uses. You must be very close to this woman. Sister?" She then began to walk towards the end of the wall of sanitary pads - somewhere I haven't searched at yet, and I followed

"Ah. No." I answered. It was normal for her to assume it was for my sister. I am -  in all my glory as G-Dragon, an idol. And everyone knows - well more of assumes, that idols don't date.

She raised a brow at me before leaning in to grab a pack of sanitary pads. She gave them to me and smiled.

"Well then, she must be someone really important for G-Dragon-ssi to personally buy her faminine products." She turned around, grabbed a few milk chocolate bars from a nearby stand and gave it to me. "May I suggest buying some of these? Girls on their periods love sweets."

I thanked her as she left to cater to other patrons of the supermarket. I walked to the counter with the camera man ahjussi following close behind me.

"I forgot to ask you who those were for GD-ssi." The camera man said as I was paying.

"Oh?" I looked at him while the cashier was getting my change. "Youngsoon Noona asked me to buy them for Dara."

He looked confused but he still nodded and didn't say anything else after that.

To be honest, having me go and get Dara her sanitary pads was better than asking Kiwoong or any of the men back at the inn to do it. If Youngsoon Noona had asked anyone else, I'm not sure how I'd feel.

You would probably feel like the useless jerk you actually are.

I sometimes wish my subconscious doesn't know me too well.

He just hits the bullseye everytime he decides to pop up in my head.