ch. 49

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Chapter Forty Nine;;- Warmth

[name] didn't want to go to school today.

Okay, she didn't want to go to school most daysbut today was more intense than ever. Her blankets were warm around her frame, the pillow under her head was in just the right position, the cats curled around her legs snugly, and [name] had trouble coaxing her brain to stay awake. She considered briefly the possibility that she had taken too much sleeping medicine last night and the effects were still lingering, but thinking was too much trouble at the moment. Her tired mind just wanted to slip back into unconsciousness like it had never been awake to begin with.

Her past self must have known this would happen, because moments after she turned off the alarm for getting up, another alarm blared.

Reluctantly, [name] started shedding the blankets tangled in her legs, slipping between the bodies of cats as she attempted to extract herself from the bed without bothering them.

She still really didn't want to go to school today.

Still, [name]'s body ran on autopilot once she was out of the cozy blankets and into the chilled air. She dressed in her hero costume, strapped the knives around her legs and her waistband as she usually did, plucking up her phone as she moved out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to make herself a poor excuse for breakfast and pack something simple for lunch.

The day prior she had realized she was developing feelings for Aizawa. She hadn't seen him at all since the school day had ended. And, to be fair, he fell asleep almost a lot of the day, so she didn't really talk to him much.

[name] was almost worried about how she was supposed to act around him. But, at the same time, she also knew she was an adult and didn't want her feelings to get in the way of a friendship she treasured. Aizawa had been an essential crutch to her during the time when she was reeling from the pieces of her past coming back to haunt her, and while she was afraid the feelings were born from the dependability he showed her during that time, she also didn't want to ruin the relationship that they had built up because she didn't know how to act.

She was an adult, dammit! She wouldn't let anything change between them if she could help it.

And truthfully, the day went exactly as planned. Sure, [name] put conscious effort into not acting weird around Aizawa and really, nothing went awry in that department. Nothing went awry in.. any department. It was a normal day, except for the fact where she couldn't stop fucking yawning.

She swore to God that she wasn't that tired the night before, and it hadn't even been that late when she had gone to bed. 2 a.m. maybe? Those were generally pretty early hours for her too. Why was she so tired all of a sudden? Is this what Aizawa dealt with on a day-to-day basis? [name] felt a new surge of respect for the man as she stifled another yawn with the back of her hand.

"Tired?" Aizawa's voice brought her out of her thoughts, as if he knew what she was thinking about.

Sheepishly, [name] nodded as she rubbed the moisture that accumulated in her eyes from yawning. "It was hard getting out of bed this morning," She drawled sleepily. "Not sure why, I thought I went to bed early-ish."

He ran a hand through his hair, leaning back in his desk chair. "Stress tends to affect sleep quality."

He didn't have to say it for her to know that he was referring to her brother's visit. It had been a week since Elmer unceremoniously appeared at Yuuei, but he had been staying at her place since then, spending his time entertaining himself with whatever she had around her house (which ended up consisting of a lot of video games). Yesterday, he had to go to the airport by himself to get home, since [name] was busy, but admitted that he didn't know how to read Japanese at all. [name] had spent the whole day worrying about whether or not he got on his flight okay and made it home in one piece.

The lingering stress very well could have affected her sleep.

[name] sighed, burying her face in her hands exasperatedly. "I've got patrol tonight, too..." She paused, sucking in her cheeks. "Well, guess I'll wait to sleep until tomorrow."

Aizawa was silent for a moment before he finally exhaled softly. "I was thinking about taking a nap. You could join, I guess."

She blinked. "Really?"

"I'll unzip it so that it's more like a blanket." He shrugged.

Still a bit surprised by the proposition, [name] nodded blankly. "Yeah, okay."

Aizawa pulled a sleeping bag out from where he kept it (in the bottom drawer of his desk, although no one was quite sure how it fit) and unzipped it. It was really a fair size when it was extended, [name] noticed. He sat down against the wall and gestured for her to sit next to him. [name] did so, and Aizawa draped the sleeping bag over their shoulders. She scooted a bit closer so that it would cover all of them.

[name] leaned her head onto Aizawa's shoulder, letting her eyes shut and the exhaustion she had been putting off catch up to her. A weight on her head pulled her out again-- Aizawa's head had come to rest on top of hers. The unzipped sleeping bag enveloped them in warmth and [name] hummed as she pulled her knees to her chest.

Aizawa answered with his own low him as his breathing already began to even out.

The warmth of his body seeped into [name]'s, her stomach fluttering with butterflies as she suddenly realized their closeness. She felt so completely safe in their little pocket away from the world, it almost felt like cheating for all the time she spent uncertain about everything.

"I don't want it to sound like this is only because you helped me when I was emotional, but Aizawa..," [name] started to murmur before she could even think about stopping herself. "I think I like you..."

The words rolled off her tongue so easily, one would have thought she premeditated it. After they left her lips, she swallowed thickly and held her breath as she waited for an answer.

But... the answer never came. Instead, [name]'s ears were met only with soft breathing.

When had Aizawa fallen asleep? How long had she been talking to herself?

She smiled and exhaled through her nose softly. Even if he hadn't heard it, it felt nice to have said it out loud. With the words hanging out in the air, the 'I think' had disappeared and [name] suddenly felt secure in her feelings. For once, [name] felt confident in her emotions. Perhaps it was the first time in her entire life that she didn't feel so much inner turmoil about everything she felt. It was weird, after 28 years of a never settling confusion, to finally find peace.

The warmth in her felt matched the warmth outside of her. It was so comforting that [name]'s own eyelids felt heavy, and she fell asleep faster than she was sure she ever had before.

a/n: a confession! but he didn't hear it. i know it'd be a plot twist if he did end up hearing it, but i swear he didn't. this confession was to help the reader (emotionally stupid) to figure out what she felt. it's been mentioned before that the reader has never really felt emotionally dependent on her past relationships, so she's never felt a wholesome "love" like the one she will experience with aizawa. as such, she will have to figure things out and adjust as they go.

this chapter was kinda written in my math class so if it feels a bit disjointed it's cuz i did it between note taking lol. sorry its shitty,,

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