Izuku Midoryia One-Shots

The Little Thing Such as Our Stars

   For a while, Izuku was stupid enough to believe that things had gotten better. Friends (real friends. Not the ones he fooled himself in having back in middle school), teachers that played fair, and finally beginning to feel alive. All the things he dreamed of became his new reality.

    He soaked in every second that a smile stretched on his face without it being forced. Melted into every comforting touch, selfish enough to crave more because he hadn't felt a non-harmful touch in years. Everything was turning around, and Izuku was so very grateful for it.

    But good things never last forever.

    The most frustrating part of it all was that nothing even happened. He should be completely fine. On his way forward to becoming even better than he was the day before. Yet, when Izuku woke up that morning, he drowned.

    The heaviness overtook him and Izuku couldn't understand for the life of him why. He thought that he was finally getting better, but the soul-deep exhaustion proved him wrong. The thought of all the progress being fake, or a mere illusion was shattering. He shouldn't feel like this anymore. Not when he didn't have a reason to anymore. It was stupid and selfish to feel this way when Izuku was so lucky.

    He still hadn't gotten out of bed. Didn't think he could. The single step of getting up seemed like a million small tasks so overwhelming that it seemed impossible to achieve.

    He couldn't do this. Not again.

    Had he even been getting better? Or was it just a pause of the dark void that had become his home since the age of five? Either way, it wasn't fair. He had a quirk and everything else he has ever wanted. He didn't have the right to feel like this anymore.

    So why? The tears were refusing to come out and he had to remind himself to breathe but god, when had breathing become such a chore? Yesterday he was on cloudnine, and now he could barely fucking move. It was pathetic and he had no right.

    Was Izuku always meant to feel like this? In a span of less than twenty-four hours, he had lost all hope. His grip on the light slipping but still there, giving him blisters and a torn heart. His mind that has been quiet resurfaced with a loud thunderous roar. It made itself comfortable in every other corner of his brain like it had never left in the first place. 

    The first thought that came to his mind was if he could suffocate himself with his pillow. If the ache in his lungs would bring him some peace, but he couldn't do that. This had to be wrong. A nightmare or trick of mind.

    Sadness doesn't dissolve so easily. Only toddlers have that kind of luxury.

    He had finally begun to find himself, and he was utterly terrified that he would lose it again. It made him shake and quiver at the knowledge that he wouldn't make it if this continued. He was already so tired and the panic was slowing down, being replaced with numbness.

    Izuku lied when he told himself he was fine. It was something he did back then to get by. Fool himself into believing that he was faking it. Asking for attention when nobody was in the room. It was so, so stupid to feel and think this way when he could so easily get help.

    Or take a swan dive off of a roof.

    No. He couldn't do that. Especially now when he's actually worth something. When people care about him and treat him like he was human and not some sort of disease.

    And that's all that had changed, hadn't it? Izuku got a quirk and with it came all the other expected joys in life that other people took for granted. The sad truth was, his quirk made him likeable. Not him. Not Izuku. Everyone's entire identity- entire life was built upon their quirk.

    The knowledge made a new emotion invite itself into his heart (everything was jumbled and he didn't know where he was. There were too many emotions, but he begged for more. Amidst of feeling too much, he had begun to feel nothing).

    Anger. He was pissed at everything. The society that he had been raised in and tricked everybody. The people who brought him to hell and forced him to fight all by himself against himself. He hated himself for letting things get so dark and impossible.

    The anger made him restless. The need to get up stronger than ever. Slowly, he willed himself to sit up and swing his legs over the bed. Half of him wanted to give up right there and try to fall back asleep, but he couldn't. His legs twitching with need to move. Izuku finally rose from his bed and put his robe and shoes on. The small tasks were difficult, but he slowly pushed through. He used to deal with this everyday. He could get used to it again if it came to that.

    It's not like he had much of a choice.

    He made it outside; the cold night air burning his lungs pleasantly. Izuku takes the trail through the little forest they sometimes train at. The trees make him feel less lonely but when he looks up, staring at the stars, he feels so small and insignificant. Like nothing he does will ever matter in the grand scheme of things. And maybe that's correct, but isn't it the little things that count? Izuku has done many things and has saved a numerous amount of people, but if he wasn't there, would those people still have gotten saved? Would the scenario turn out better if he wasn't there at all?

    The thoughts become a jumbled mess as he crouches down to the ground with his hands over his head. Clutching his hair tightly enough that his head begins to ache. Everything becomes too much too soon and he doesn't know what to do. He shouldn't be feeling like this anymore. Heroes aren't broken.

    But he was. So, so very broken and he couldn't stand it.

    Izuku barely registers the heartbreaking scream that tears itself from his throat. His hand pulling tighter at his hair; pulling chunks out. The screams turned into a cracked sob and the drowning sensation was back, or did it ever leave? Had he been drowning this entire time, choking on his own sadness? The thoughts kept spinning and spinning and it wouldn't stop even with his head forcibly squished into the grass trying to turn it off. He just need everything to stop-

    It didn't, and Izuku was left alone to deal with it. Like he always was.

    He couldn't do anything for a while. His head sandwiched between his hands and the grass that felt so sharp against his skin. He was freezing. The prickles of his skin were the only indication he was still alive and breathing. Izuku wasn't sure if he should be grateful for that or not.

    Izuku finally got up once the start of the sun's rays peaked out. His knees were aching and numb from being in that position for who knows how long. Slowly and quietly, he made it to the dorms. Right as he reached the building, the entrance door opened and revealed Iida. No doubt getting ready to start his morning run.

    Izuku saw how his friend's expression turned into one of a greeting then quickly shifted to worry. "Midoryia-kun... Are you okay?" He always hated to make his friends worry, and he must look like death itself right now. The thought made Izuku cringe.

    Without even needing to think about (oh, and wasn't that dangerous? Being able to lie so easily), Izuku smiled and lied through his teeth, "Yeah, I'm good! Have a good run, Iida-kun!". He knew his friend wasn't entirely convinced, but Izuku decided to make an escape before Tenya could ask any further questions.

    Once Izuku was in his room a new wave of determination settled into his heart. This one being more self-destructive and dangerous than the one he's adorned before.

    As he was putting his uniform on and hiding all evidence of the prior eyes, Izuku thought that he could do this. After all, he did it before. So why couldn't he just adjust to it again? Izuku would be fine dealing with this. It would be okay. It had to be.

    (He forgot that there were people there for him now. Forgot that he could be saved, too.

    And how sad was that?)

Sorry for the short chapter!

So I'm pretty sure the next one is going to be the last one for a while. I want to start another story, and working in three separate works isn't ideal. Plus I'm running out of inspiration, but I'll most likely come back on a later date when I need to vent or have more ideas.

Anyway, I hope everyone has/had a good day!