The First One- newt x reader

30~ The Bracelet

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The baggers carried the covered body of my bestfriend through the forest to where her grave was. We followed silently behind, Newt holding my right hand and Minho walking sadly on the left of me. We made it to the deadheads and the boys lowered her body into the empty pit. A circle of gladers formed around her un-covered grave and Alby started speaking.

"Ruby was the kindest girl any of us could have ever met. She gave so much love to the people she cared for, and I'm betting she still had lots more to give. She will be missed; not just today, but for as long as we live. May she have a happy, peaceful rest. Would anyone else like to say a few words?" Alby looked to all of us but stopped at me and Minho with an inquisitive look.

I took Minho's hand in my free one and brought him and Newt to sit next to her grave with me. I cleared my throat and then began, "What can I say? I loved her. We all loved her," I glanced over at Minho who was watching me with solemn eyes as I spoke. "I have always thought of her as a gift: she came up when I needed another reason to carry on, and she is one of the reasons I did. Don't worry, I'll spare you the sob stories- but she was a heck of a good person, and I will never forget her. Goodbye, Ruby." I blew a kiss to where her body lay and hugged Minho as tight as I could. I tried to hold back my tears but obviously failed because I could feel Minho's shirt getting damper by the second. Newt tugged me up by the hand and the three of us stood back in the circle of boys again.

It had been about an hour so far of us just watching her grave get filled. Some of the boys had left, some had came back but others said they would pay respects once it was done. A group of us that included Newt, Minho, Gally, Fry, Alby, and I hadn't left yet- we were just sat in silence watching her be buried. Fry then needed to go fix everyone up some lunch and Alby and Gally left too to get on with work which just left the three of us.

We talked about our memories of her for hours. We laughed, we cried. Once the job was done, each of us placed a lily where she lay (she liked lillies). Newt then left me and Minho so he could get some food, and so he could give us some alone time.

"Klunk, I totally forgot- I have something I was meaning to give you," he started rustling in his pockets, pulling out a piece of familiar paper and a bracelet and handing them to me. "I didn't read the letter by the way. And, I thought you should have the other bracelet." 

The bracelet he had given me was Ruby's friendship bracelet. We had made them in the second week since she got here out of some cotton we found lying around. They were identical and we hadn't taken them off since the first time we tied them round each others wrists.

A cold, lone tear spilled from the corner of my eye and I looked to Minho. "Thank you Min," I pulled myself into his chest for another hug. "She loved you, you know. Don't blame yourself for this, she just couldn't take it. The Glade isn't for everyone I suppose." I sighed.

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We ended up falling asleep at her Grave and missing dinner. When Newt came and woke us up, I could see that the sun had probably set around an hour or two ago- it was late. Minho headed back to where his room was without getting any food, and I went back with Newt to our room.

I had a quick shower and got into some comfy pyjamas before joining Newt. He was laying on the bed in just his boxers looking deep in thought and I didn't want to disturb him so I just gently slipped under the sheet next to him. He then pulled himself out of thought and asked me a question. "Y/n do you remember what you said before it went black?"

"Um I- Uh, I'm not sure." I lied. I knew exactly what I said but I didn't really want to talk about it.

"Don't lie to me, you're a terrible liar."

"Okay, yes I do remember. I said 'It should have been me'." I admitted.

"You don't still feel that way do you?" He was being cautious, as if he didn't want to make me act out.

"No Newt, well, not exactly."

"What do you mean not exactly?"

"Look, I don't wish I was dead so stop acting as if I'm about to blow up in your face. In that moment, yes... I did wish it was me lying there instead. If I had the choice to pick between me or her I would pick me any day, she didn't deserve that." Newt interrupted, "But neither do you. You don't deserve that either love, you do realise that don't you?"

"Yes I do realise that- well, sometimes. But you need to stop worrying about me. My bestfriend is gone, and it's broken me, but I need to stay alive for her- so don't worry about me leaving any time soon, okay?"

"I will never stop worrying about you. I love you y/n/n." He then kissed me, like the world was gonna disappear. It was clear he was probably still worried that that would be our last kiss, so I reassured him, "Chill out blondie, I'm not going anywhere." I smiled up at him and he smiled back. We cuddled for the rest of the night and then we fell asleep in eachothers arms.