The First One- newt x reader

28~ The Note

My hands steadied after a few deep breaths and I carefully unfolded the paper. It was a note.

This is what it said:

Dear y/n,

I'm sorry y/n/n. I'm sorry for taking the easy way out: I'm sorry for being weak. I left you, I left all of you, but don't blame yourself for my actions. It's not your fault and I can't have you believing it is- that's why I'm writing this letter.

The truth is, I couldn't stand being trapped inside these 4 walls. I couldn't stand knowing that we probably would never escape, but I want you to keep trying. Keep trying for me.

I remember the day I came up. The first face I saw was Newt's, and he was lovely to me. I heard whispers like 'it's a girl' and 'she's pretty' or 'y/n will be happy'. I wondered who they were talking about, who was y/n?

Well, I then learnt that you were the best friend I could ever wish for- that anyone could ever wish for. Your smile makes me smile, your laugh makes me laugh, your cry makes me cry. You are so beyond perfect and I never want you to stop being you.

We shared so many amazing moments together, and even in death I will never forget them. When I'm gone, I want you to remember me and smile- not cry. I want my memory to be a happy one, full of smiles and laughter. I want my name to never be forgotten and when you think of it, you will think of your bestfriend. I will always be your bestfriend, never forget that.

Ruby xx

[[disclaimer; suicide doesn't make you weak and I don't see it that way, I just added it because that's the way the character views herself at that point x]]

I let out an ear piercing shriek, then I was crying and screaming "NO NO NO NO NO!! SHE DIDN'T DESERVE THIS! WHY HER?! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE HER???," then my voice decreased into a solemn whisper. "It should have been me." Was all I could let out when it went black.

--Newt's POV--

Her teary eyes were scanning through the paper she had been given, staining the paper with even more tears as she read. What happened next was terrifying.

I tried to calm her down but she couldn't hear me through her screams. "NO NO NO NO NO!!" She cried into Ruby's cold, hard chest. She began pounding her fists into the ground beside her bestfriends body and she couldn't hear any of us yelling for her to stop. We tried to grab her but she carried on hitting the ground, I heard a few of her bones crack between hits. She carried on screaming 'SHE DIDN'T DESERVE THIS' 'WHY HER?!?!' 'WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE HER?!'. She stopped pounding her fists into the floor and switched to banging her head on the floor instead.

It was heartbreaking but all I could do was stand and watch whilst I screamed for her to stop it. I was frozen in place watching the girl I loved shatter into a million pieces right before my eyes. I heard her whisper something, I think she said 'It should have been me'. I couldn't have her think that. Gally was trying to get her to stop until she went limp and Gally looked around helplessly.

Was she gone too? IS SHE DEAD?

I rushed over to where Gally was holding her in his arms and then it was me screaming instead. "NO!! WAKE UP Y/N WAKE UP!! SOMEONE GET HELP, MEDJACKS!!" Jeff then came running from the crowd and checked for a pulse, "Newt, newt calm down she's got a pulse. It's there but barely. She'll be okay. She might be out for a few days because she's got one heck of a head injury," I got a flash of when she was hitting her head on the ground before and it made me wince. "We need to get her to the hut and quick. Gally, Winston help me carry her to Clint."

The two boys helped Jeff carry her across the Glade and I was going to go with but I heard shuffling and whimpering behind me. I looked over and it was Minho and Fry. Minho had a cold face and was crying holding his dead girlfriend's hand, Fry was shuffling to be next to him. Y/n was in safe hands right now, but Minho needed me. I went and sat on the other side of him now, and Fry and I comforted him. I don't think there was a dry eye anywhere in the Glade now.

After a few minutes, Alby spoke up, "We need to bury her in the Glade. You four go dig a grave." He pointed to four of the boys around us. Minho let go of her hand and started searching the pockets of her jacket. He found a few rocks- Ruby liked to collect what she called 'the pretty ones'. He then picked up y/n's note as well as his (Ruby had left both Minho and y/n letters) and put them in his pockets with the pretty rocks and a few other bits and bobs that I didn't get to identify.

--still Newt's POV, a day later--

It was decided by Alby that we should wait for y/n to wake up before we bury Ruby, she was her bestfriend and should be awake for the funeral of course.

After I left Minho with Fry, I hadn't left y/n's side. Clint and Jeff said she should be awake within the next 1-5 days but I wanted to be there when she woke up. She would need me. Minho wasn't doing so well of course, he put on a brave face this morning but he's broken. He lost his first love. It was only a day later and I don't think any of us (her friends) will ever really recover from what happened to her. She will always be in our hearts.

We miss you Ruby.