Love of a Sinner

Ch 10 - Hidden Rage

- ... and here Hoon-oppa was sulking cause of grandma's punishment. Look, see his thorn clothes?, chuckled Joohee – actually he run after a kid till their home to "teach" them a few things haha, but didn't expect a Rottweiler there. He was lucky enough to escape with just his pants thorn haha.

Jiwook laughed greedily along side Joohee, his eyes practically glowing at the cute and hilarious sights of the younger Joohoon.

- He was blabbering how unfair it was, how the kid bullied Taejoon-oppa and he just wanted to make them apologize.

A soft smile danced on Jiwook's face.

"Who knew Joohoon was the righteous type." Giggles.

- Taejoon?

- Oh it's his childhood friend. Here.

Joohee pointed another photo where Joohoon's hand locked a delicate-looking boy in a friendly way, his smile wide and bright, full of a child's serenity, so lively and sincere, that it filled Jiwook's heart with warmth when he looked at it. Joohoon's smile was such an overwhelming and unordinary sight, that Jiwook barely surpassed a gasp, while his heart skipped a beat.

Marvelous.

He wondered where the sun-like bright boy with those honest, upright eyes was gone, that not even a shadow of him remained in Joohoon. After a few moments he noticed that it disappeared earlier than he expected, as fewer and fewer photos had Joohoon in it and even then, he looked sometimes angry, grumpy or gloomy, but on most of it a cold dark expression was plastered on his face. Even darker than on the present Joohoon. Jiwook felt his heart squeezing, his finger brushed over the young Joohoon's face as if trying to reach to him.

Joohee watched him quietly, then after a moment she let out a small sigh.

- That winter mother died.

Jiwook held his breath, he moved his look on Joohee, worry and sadness slowly filling his eyes.

- It was an overdose of pills. After father's death, she was struggling to support us and make ends meet overworking herself. Though I was very young then, I remember she was an warm and kind person, strong enough to endure all hardships with a smile. But in the end it broke her. Maybe Oppa was the one who could feel her sufferings the most. He was a child himself but he stuck with the idea that he's the man of the family and had to help mum. Yeah, help... – Joohee sighed heavily while hugging herself; it wasn't easy to recollect all those dark days from the past – she had severe depression. During her outbursts, which became more frequent, she'd throw and break things, often injuring herself. Brother stood close to her taking hits instead and trying hard to calm her down. He never cried. He wouldn't even let a sound. That day..., Joohee closed her eyes, her hands trembling in cold sweat – I foolishly came out of the room... I wanted to stop my mother, yeah how dumb I was... she didn't see me, perhaps... I would have been hit by a glass but brother protected me taking the hit instead. There was so much blood that I thought Oppa would die then, Joohee's voice trembled, a tear slid down her face unnoticed – I was scarred, but when I looked at mother, she was just horrified. Her distorted terrified expression and her tearing scream... I could never forget. I think she realized what she did and her guilt ..., Joohee struggled to finish her words - cough- mother went in her room and she never came out anymore.

Jiwook felt chills down his spine, his fingers numb, his lungs so heavy that breathing was too painful. He felt eerie. He never saw their mother, he couldn't know how she looked back then, but, even so, his mind played the scene Joohee just described, so clear and vivid like he witnessed it himself.

It was so...

familiar.

He covered his face with one hand, his whole body trembling, his lungs refused to take in air and he could just let small broken gasps, chocking.