Chasing the Void (Magnates Series #3)

Kabanata 36

Kabanata 36

Nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan ko at pakiramdam ko nanlamig ang buong katawan ko. I was not expecting that at all, that's why I'm completely stunned. Ni minsan hindi pumasok sa isip ko ang posibilidad na ito.

I was thinking of worst, like someone was after my family. But I didn't expect that it was from my family, that's why that tragedy happened. 

Ayokong maniwala pero sa ekspresyon pa lang ni Captain Burgos ay mukhang hindi niya magagawang makagpagsabi ng kasinungalingan. Pakiramdam ko nanghina ako dahil sa nalaman ko. Gusto kong maniwala kaso ang hirap tanggapin. 

"That's all I could say, I'm sorry." sabi ni Captain Burgos. Kitang kita ko ang pag-aalala sa mukha niya nang makita ang pagkabigla ko. "I'm very sorry, Riyel..."

Napalunok ako ng laway at pilit pinapakalma ang sarili ko kahit gusto ko nang umiyak matapos malaman iyon. I kept my composure just so he won't regret what he told me. Ako rin naman ang nagpumilit para malaman ang totoo.

"Salamat po, Cap." I tried so hard to say it without being emotional. 

Although I was desperate to know more, I didn't try to force him. Sobra at sapat na ang sinabi niya at pakiramdam ko rin ay hindi ko kayang malaman ang kung ano pa ang totoong nangyari. He patted my shoulder and bid me his goodbye. Nang makaalis siya ay napaupo ako sa gilid.

Naramdaman ko ang sunud-sunod na paglandas ng luha ko. Kinakapos ako ng hininga dahil sa paghikbi ko. Ang hirap para sa akin tanggapin ang nangyari.

Si Kuya Axel? He was the least person I would suspect for this incident. He was kind, gentle, he wouldn't even hurt even a small plant. Alam kong mapagbiro siya pero ni minsan hindi ko pa siya nakikitang magalit o maging pisikal.

And to even start a fire that could kill people? I can't even imagine that scenario. 

I looked up to him a lot. He was my inspiration to everything. Someone who'd pursue his passion fairly, without using his connection, just sticking to the ground humbly. So I was devastated to know that he was...h-he was the one who...

I can't even say it. 

Ilang minuto akong umiyak doon. Hindi ko na nagawang bumalik kina Donna dahil ayokong makita nila akong nasa ganitong estado. I was used in being alone, I don't want them to be burden about my personal matters.

"Ilang araw na, hindi ka ba talaga papasok?" Chelsea asked me when she went inside my room.

Nanatili akong nasa kwarto at tatlong araw na ata akong hindi pumapasok. Puno na ng text message ni Donna ang nasa cellphone ko at humingi na lang ako ng tawad. Ang sinabi ko lang ay masama pa rin ang pakiramdam ko. She was kind to explain the situation to Mrs. Dela Torres. 

I smiled bitterly, I can still feel my head aching. I can't sleep properly, I don't even have the appetite to eat. 

I thought the truth would finally give me peace of mind but hell I was wrong, I was wrecked and I felt like my mind is splitting into two. Hindi ko inaasahan na ganito ang magiging epekto nito sa'kin. 

I thought I could take it. I thought I would be fine after finally knowing it. But it turned differently than I expected.

"Hindi ka man lang ba nagsabi sa boyfriend mo?" pang-uusisa ni Chelsea. 

I never told Draisen about it. Hindi naman siya nagtanong at wala rin naman akong text o tawag na natanggap mula sa kanya. And I find it relieving although I know it was so unfair. I don't think I can face him after what happened.

I felt extremely guilty. So guilty that I just want to be alone for a long time.

"Basta kumain ka, ha." Chelsea sighed, leaving the breakfast on the side table. "Hindi kita pipilitin pero alam mo namang nandito lang ako, okay?"