Slipping Through My Fingers

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter 17

Rosalie's POV -

Struggling started almost straight away. Of course it would; I hadn't doubted it. I knew that my streak of good luck was going to waste sometime and I guess this was the time it was ending. I hadn't attended school for the next few days and I barely spoke to anyone. Nate would send me occasional texts that I gladly replied to but he would soon just impulsively explain how he hated texts and stopped it.

I would drop the boys off at school and spend the rest of my free time searching for a job. Could you believe that in one of Brooklyn's biggest suburbs there were no available jobs? I tried at local stores, the grocery, clothing shops in the mall... everywhere. Either no place was hiring or I had huge competition that I was up against and unfortunately, heaps more people were more qualified than I was.

I was walking back to the boy's school to pick them up after a long day of job hunting when my phone started ringing. On instinct, I smiled at the name and answered it.

"Hey, Nate." I grinned.

"Rose, do you ever plan on coming back to school?" He answered gruffly.

"Uh, yeah, actually tomorrow I'll be there." I said, knowing that there weren't going to be any available jobs so I was better off gaining an education.

"Thank God. Not to sound clingy or girly or anything but you know, I actually miss you." He murmured softly.

I felt a huge grin elapse onto my face as I felt fireworks erupt in my stomach.

"I miss you too, Nate." I replied.

"Whatever." He grunted as I laughed at his tone.

"So, what have you been doing then?" He asked.

I didn't want to tell him that I was job hunting; no I was keeping that all to myself. It was bad enough that Adam had gone and bought me furniture again and I certainly wasn't looking for pity. If Nate was really going to be my boyfriend then I wanted him to be exactly that and not a bank or for him to be treating me like a charity case. It was the same thing for the twins and Chris. I had been receiving texts from all of them about what I had been doing but I chose not to reply.

"Nothing, really. I've been cleaning the apartment and catching up on some homework and stuff." I actually had been doing that too.

I haven't been able to sleep at night; worries of eviction and starvation was clouding my mind so instead, I would finish up homework and assignments and I would also clean and prepare food for the boys. From this, I had managed to catch up on all my school work and the apartment was rather clean.

"Oh," Nate's tone implied that he didn't believe me but he didn't pry. "Well, did you want to do something this weekend? Me and the twins are going to Chris for lunch and to swim, can you come too?" His voice was hopeful.

Sadly, I wouldn't be able to make it. Adam had been transferred to Tulsa for a week where he would assess a few things for his company. He was pretty much the only person who could take care of my boys.

"Um, I have no one to watch my brothers so no can do." I replied.

"That's fine, bring them with you." He said.

I couldn't do that either. I was still a little... sceptical of Nate. Sure, I managed to put up with him when he was around me but I just couldn't risk letting my boys be around him when sometimes he was just such a loose cannon. He and Chris swore like maniacs and their conversations never really bordered appropriateness.

"Uh, I won't be able to make it." I muttered quickly, not being able to come up with a quick excuse.

"Rose, are you okay?" Nate asked, his voice sounding suspicious.

"I'm grand." I lied, faking a chirpy tone.

"But Rose-"

"Nate," I spoke once I saw the boy's school in distance. "I have to go. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

I slid my phone into my pocket when I hung up and refused to let my eyes water up. What was wrong with me? Today I had woken up with a sickening feeling and now I had been emotional all day. But, I knew the feeling too well. It was the same feeling I had gotten the day I had been evicted.

***

"Rosie, I'm hungry." Mike groaned from the couch.

"Mike you just ate." I laughed.

"You think it was enough? Rosie, that was barely enough food for a baby. Don't we have anything else to eat?" Liam said, rolling his eyes at me.

But that was all I could afford, I wanted to say but I stopped myself. It would be selfish of me to make my brothers worry about our lack of money. They didn't know our money situation and I didn't want them to have to live through the worries I had experienced at their age.

"I could check the cupboards." I murmured.

I opened each cupboard quickly, scanning what we had. There were cleaning products in one cupboard, a toaster in another and an almost empty box of cereal. There was an apple and banana sitting in a bowl on the kitchen counter and a small amount of Nutella left in a jar. The fridge had a cold bottle of water and bread.

"We have fruit or Nutella if you want." I told him, poking my head from out of the fridge.

He grimaced and shook his head quickly.

"No, I don't want that. I want something else." He said.

Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair and shut the fridge.

"So then what do you want to eat?" I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders and turned his attention back to the TV while Mike rolled his eyes at me.

"We need to buy more food, Rosie." Mike said dryly.

I breathed in a vast amount of air as I narrowed my eyes at him. Yes, I was their sister but I didn't raise them to have such poor manners towards me. I knew they were only five, but still, if they didn't change their attitude then they were to be in a load of trouble.

"Mike, don't talk to her like that." Jace snapped at his younger brother. "Apologise. Now."

Mike, who rolled his eyes again apologised meekly.

My gaze softened as I nodded, showing him that I accepted his apology.

"Rose, can we get ice-cream?" Liam piped in, turning his attention back to me.

"Yeah, ice-cream!" Mike yelled, a huge smile spreading across his face.

Even though Jace hadn't said anything, through his facial expression I could just tell that he wanted ice cream too. I smiled slightly and walked over to my wallet where I found a mere $7.50 sitting. That's all I had left. Not even ten dollars; certainly not enough to pay for three ice creams.

How was I supposed to feed my boys tomorrow with $7.50? I swallowed the lump in my throat and turned back to my brothers.

"Um, how about tomorrow? After school?" I asked them, hoping that by tomorrow they would have passed their craving for ice-cream.

Their expressions all fell as they nodded slightly. Great, I had gotten out of that one. But what about the next time they want pizza, or want to buy a toy? Mr. Ashford was already running a week late on giving me the $300 that he would send each month. And at this point, I really needed that money.

After I cleaned the kitchen, I received a video phone call from the twins that I reluctantly answered.

"Hey," I answered, smiling chirpily.

"Rose!" They simultaneously scolded.

"Cam! Chloe!" I feigned a scold.

They both narrowed their eyes at me as I laughed at them.

"What did I do now?" I asked innocently.

"Do you know how to answer texts? Rose, I know you're stupid but seriously? You haven't replied to not one of our messages! What have you been doing?" Of course, I wouldn't tell them what I really had been doing. I didn't want their pity.

"Oh, you know. A little bit of this, a little bit of that." I grinned cheekily.

"And may we please get your definition of this and that?" Chloe narrowed her eyes at me as I snickered.

"Cleaning, homework, you know, just taking a break from school." I shrugged.

I heard a male voice scream something in the background and I realised that Chris was there too. I think he had said 'send my condolences' which was followed by Cam screaming 'She isn't sick'. I laughed at their bicker as Chloe imitated them. It was quite an amusing sight.

"Well, are you coming to school tomorrow?" She asked me.

"Yep." I said, popping the 'p'.

She nodded and was about to say something before the phone shook and she started yelling Chris's name.

"Rose, my darling, how've you been?" Chris's smile gleamed brightly as he looked at me.

I laughed at the accent he pulled off as I went to take out the clothes from the washing machine.

"I've been doing well, how about you?" I asked.

"Dandy." He winked. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about Nate."

I frowned and pursed my lips a little in confusion. Nate? Why would he want to talk to me about Nate?

When it was obvious that I was going to listen to whatever Chris had to say about me, he started walking away from wherever he was and went to somewhere quiet where Cam and Chloe weren't yelling at him scoldingly.

"Okay, so the thing is, Nate told me that you are now his girlfriend." He announced, closing the door.

I checked out his surroundings and saw he was in a closet. If we weren't talking about Nate and my heart wasn't beating a mile, I would have laughed at the drastic measures he was taking in order to have some peace and quiet. But, you know, whenever someone starts talking about Nate, my body had a mind of its own. It reacted in ways I never thought possible.

"Yes..." I pushed for Chris to continue whatever debacle he felt like telling me.

"Um," He scratched the back of his head and smiled at me sheepishly. "Well, don't tell Nate that I'm telling you this because he'd probably kick my ass but I thought since you're Nate's girlfriend now, I had no choice but to tell you this."

Frowning, I nodded, wanting for him to get whatever he wanted to tell me over and done with. What could Chris possibly want to tell me that I couldn't tell Nate?

"So, uh, I know I'm with Cam and she's great and all that but lately, I don't know. I've been developing these feelings for you."

I felt my eyes widen as my face went red with embarrassment.

"What!?" I yelled before I could into control of my thoughts.

"Rose, I think I'm in love with you." He said confidently, his eyes looking straight at mine.

I felt like I was going to hyperventilate. Chris liked me? Why since when? But... I was with Nate! And I really, really liked Nate. Oh God, I could feel everything coming down. Now every time I hung out with them it'd be so awkward. I had no romantic feelings for Chris! And rejection was never a nice thing! What was I going to do?

I just wanted to be gone; I wanted to escape all these problems I had. I wanted the floor to swallow me and let me come back to Earth when I had money and Chris didn't like me anymore. I felt claustrophobic, like I was going to choke on my tongue or something. Just then, I heard full blown out laughter come through the phone.

I looked back to my phone and found Chris laughing hysterically, tears welling up in his eyes. It was then I realised he was joking and felt my eyes scolding his amused ones.

"Your face, Rose! Oh, that was too funny!" He chortled.

I started blushing again as I ducked my head down letting my hair cover my face. How could I be so gullible? I should know that Chris was a joker, he wouldn't have actually been serious.

I frowned as Chris started laughing again at my embarrassment and I pulled my head back up and glared at him.

"That wasn't funny you know!" I yelled.

"Yes it was." Came the simultaneous response of my three brothers who has seemed to be watching me.

Chris began laughing at my shock again as I once more glared.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll tell you what I really wanted to say then." He laughed.

"Good because I'm hanging up really soon." I threatened.

He held back a laugh as he nodded commandingly.

"So, anyway, I have no romantic feelings for you whatsoever and it's all Nate. Just thought I'd let you know that." He smirked. "But, seriously, Nate is like a brother to me. We've been friends since we were babies and I've seen him at his highest and at his lowest. And do you know when his highest was? The day he spent with you at the beach. That is the happiest I've ever seen him and I know it's because of you. He really, really likes you even though he doesn't really show it. I know he can be an asshole and sometimes, you want to kill him but please, take it easy on him, okay? He means well he just... he doesn't know how to show it."

I smiled apprehensively at Chris who was awaiting an answer. I really, really liked Nate too but... what if this never worked out. I'm not talking about our relationship; I'm talking about where I lived. What would we do if I had to start over again and move schools or states?

Sighing heavily, I nodded.

"Thank you Chris. I know that... well, I really like Nate, too. And you're right, he can be an asshole. But I know that he does mean well. I have no intention of being hard on him, you should know that." I smiled.

Chris was about to say something else before the closet he was in opened up quickly and he jumped in freight. The phone fell to the floor as I began laughing at him. I could hear the girls yelling at him for taking the phone and running away. The angle of the phone allowed me to see Chris's shameful expression as he was being yelled at.

Finally, after the girls remembered that I was still on the phone, they picked it up, smiling their toothy grins at me.

"Did he confess his love for you?" Cam asked, holding back a laugh.

How did she know? Was this a regular thing that Chris did or something?

They laughed at my expression and rolled their eyes at some witty comment Chris made. We stayed talking for an hour more, all four of us chatting amiably as they took away my worries for a while. It felt good just being a regular teenager; lying down on a bed and chatting with friends.

After a while though, I remembered that I still needed to edit a few of my essays that I had received and written. I bid my adieu to the gang and hung up as I set up my work books on the breakfast table. The boys watched TV for a while before they all reluctantly admitted to me that they had homework that they hadn't been doing and all went to their bedrooms to start it.

**

Turning over on the couch, I groaned. How come sleep wasn't taking me? Why was it refusing to let my worries float away for a while? Two hours at least! It's not like I could get up and clean or do homework or anything. I had already asked for all homework and assignments I had missed out on over the past few days and I finished everything since I couldn't really sleep. The house was clean as spec and I didn't have much to do on my phone other than talk to people.

Maybe it was because I was worried. I knew that feeding the boys tomorrow was going to be a difficult task with $7.50. And what if after that, I didn't get any more money? The chances for landing a job were pretty slim seeing as even McDonalds wouldn't accept me. Suddenly, knocking any thoughts out of my head was one name that hand come up on my phone, as it vibrated. What was Nate doing calling me at 2:30 in the morning?

"Hello?" I answered.

"So you're awake too?" Nate said, I could almost see the smirk he was wearing.

"Umm, yeah. Just catching up on some reading." I lied.

"At two in the morning?" His tone was suspicious.

"I wouldn't be talking; you're awake as well." I replied.

"Yeah, well at least I have a good excuse for being awake." He snapped.

"Yeah, what's that?" I challenged.

"I was thinking about you." He muttered so quickly; I thought that maybe I heard differently.

"W-what?" I stuttered, feeling a blush creep up onto my face.

Did he just say that? I felt my heart squeeze a little as I felt giddy all over.

"Don't make me repeat it." He muffled.

I smiled at that. I know, I found the weirdest things to be sweet. Even though Nate's tone was harsh at first, he admitted that he couldn't sleep because he was thinking about me. How I managed to keep the most handsome guy in the world stay up thinking about was beyond me.

"I won't, but it's nice to hear that our relationship doesn't have one-sided feelings." I murmured, grinning like a fool.

"Rose, what relationship do we exactly have? Because I haven't seen you in like four days with basically no explanation. I'm the one texting you first or calling you. If I knew any better, I'd think that I was the only one who liked you." He said in a rush.

No! No, no, no. Why would he think that? Was he stupid? Did he not know how head over heels I was for him? Yeah, he could get me pretty mad straight away but he also managed to make me grin like a chump at a hello.

"Nate?"

"What?"

"I like you. I think I like you more than I should and I think I'm crazy because of that. Nate, do you not realise how easily you get angry at me and snap? Don't you remember all the harsh things you have said to me? And Nate, despite everything you've done, I'm still crazy about you. Doesn't that say anything?" I frowned when I finished.

How could he think that I didn't like him?

"Cat in the Hat." He blurted.

"Nate... Wait- what?" I asked in surprise.

Did he just say... Cat in the Hat? As in Dr. Seuss, the master of children's novels rhyming Cat in the Hat?

"I don't know, you were being all cheesy and I hate awkward situations. So, I say something completely non... cheesy." It sounded more like a question.

I get that Nate could feel awkward immediately when someone says anything but an insult. But, Cat in the Hat? I was still processing. I would expect that to come out of Adam's mouth or maybe Chris. But Nate?

"Okay, now I'm feeling more awkward. Please, Rose. Say something." He begged.

"You're a jerk?" I tried and he began laughing.

"Thank you."

"But Nate?"

"Mm?"

"I really do like you." I smiled again, hoping that he wouldn't find that line too awkward. If he did, I don't know how he'll ever say anything remotely romantic to me.

"Sadly, I don't believe you." He said.

But why!? Was he really so stupid to the point where he didn't know how just his voice could do crazy things to my insides?

"But-"

"Maybe I'll have you prove just how much you like me. Kissing me senseless wouldn't be too bad. I don't mind if you slept with me on the first date. Maybe I'll have you do things to me." He mused.

That was when I caught amusement in his voice. Oh right, he did know that I liked him, he was just teasing.

"Nate!" I scolded.

He laughed loudly and I heard something crash.

"Oh shit, Rose, I have to go. See you tomorrow, beautiful."

"Whatever." I muffled, still embarrassed by what he said.

He chuckled once more as he groaned.

"Goodnight, Rose." He sang playfully.

"Goodnight."

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Authors Note:

Looks like Rose's life is going downhill :/

Anyone have any guesses on what can happen next?

Vote, comment and fan.

Farewell xx