GTA Monopoly

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TW: Cussing, Araleyn, ParrCleves, Howard/Seymour, I understand they're cousins, this was inspired by a fic on ao3 that ships them together, Crack Fic


Anne smiled victoriously as the group groaned.

"Yes! I get to pick the game!" she cheered.

Catherine muttered a few prayers in spanish, while Jane went and got the med kit in advance. Kat smiled, excited for the game, Anna got her phone out to record the undoubtedly impending debacle, and Cathy made no emotion clear on her face while Anne thought.

"GTA Monopoly!"

"....what in the fuck is GTA Monopoly?" Cathy asked.

_____________________________

She shouldn't have asked.

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As Anne explained the rules (here's a clue, there are none) everyone's eyes widened. It was Jane who bravely raised her hand to ask a question.

"Yes Janey?"

"Who taught you this game?"

"My brother George! Did you......did you not play this game?"

Everyone shook their heads no.

"Oh.......well you're gonna play now!"

They got started and at first everything was normal, until Anne decided to pull a heist.

"I'm stealing 2,000 dollars from the bank!"

"Oh fuck no!"

Chaos ensued.

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Anne landed on the go to jail space and grinned, earning a few confused looks, she picked up Jane's piece (she was doing too well in the game) and put her in jail, earning an outraged noise.

"Excuse me?! You go to jail!"

"I'm pinning it on you!"

Jane started to bicker with her over it, finally giving in and joining the madness.

"I'm breaking out of jail, and going after Anne for pinning the robbery on me!"

"Jesus fucking christ" Cathy muttered.

Katherine pulled a get out of jail card and grinned, "I own the jail now!"

Jane caught up to Anne's piece and just went for it "I'm murdering Anne and stealing all her money." She flicked her piece off the board and took all her money as Anne let out a shriek of outrage.

"Dammit! I'm haunting you!"

"This isn't even Monopoly anymore!" Catherine yelled.

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Anna started cussing as Cathy stole her property.

"Mine now, I'm holding you at gun point and demand you give me half your money!"

Catherine snickered "I'm starting a financial crisis"

Jane groaned in annoyance.

Anne grinned at her girlfriend, happy she finally broke and allowed herself to be chaotic with her. Everyone was yelling, everyone was cheating, and the game certainly wasn't Monopoly anymore.

Jane got pinned for another crime, this time by Anna for 'holding the bank hostage and taking the bankers key, killing him, then stealing every last dollar from the bank'

Katherine then broke her out of jail, and they went on the run, stealing half of everyone's money.

Cathy went bankrupt before turning around and stealing from Catherine, who stole from Anna, who stole from Katherine, who then stole from Cathy again. Anna lended Cathy money and told her to pay it back with 50% interest or she'd kill her.

Catherine got a get out of jail card and crowed as she stole the jail from Katherine, who started cussing vigorously.

Jane scolded hre briefly before cursing herself when Catherine landed on the same square as Jane and Katherine's and sent them to jail.

Anne haunted Jane, and took her money before giving it to her girlfriend.

Anna was run over by Cathy's car piece, and Cathy stole her money, Katherine broke out of jail and left Jane behind, she stole a hotel from Catherine and took over Jane's property.

Jane rolled double and went after Katherine as payback for leaving her behind, stealing money repeatedly until she went bankrupt and died of poisoning as Catherine poisoned her in retaliation for stealing her hotel.

This left Cathy, Catherine, and Jane, all people who'd murdered the other three in the game, and each being respectively haunted by said murdered players.

Jane landed on the Go space and took money from Cathy and Catherine, who decided to team up against Jane, since she had the most property. Jane pushed Cathy to bankruptcy again, and Catherine refused to lend her money, leading her to be out of the game until Jane landed on one of her few properties, Jane haggled with her, telling she'd pay half the money to her and in return she'd give her a few of her own properties.

They turned around and murdered Catherine, who decided to haunt Jane, periodically stealing her money and giving it to Cathy with Anne.

Jane and Cathy owned half and half of the board until Cathy unexpectedly flipped the board over yelled earthquake, which happened to kill Jane, leading Cathy to be the winner.

Jane was angry and started yelling at Cathy, who yelled right back. Anne watched in amusement as soon everybody was yelling, far more angry than if they'd played normal Monopoly.

Anne picked up the pieces while they yelled and put it away, smug as they dissolved into chaos over the game.

"So....." Anne said after everyone had calmed down.

They all looked at her.

"Would you ever consider playing again?"

"Yes! I demand a rematch! Cathy I'm killing you first!" Jane yelled.

"Not if I kill you first!"

Anna looked around "I don't know, that game was fun, but also really stressful since you never knew what was gonna happen next."

"I think we should call Monopoly and tell them about this version, it's great" Katherine piped up.

Anne grinned, mission complete, she'd infected them with her chaos.

"You know, I have that kind of version to a lot of games, including Uno."

"......how does one make Uno more chaotic?"


- A R A G O N

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