Nursery Rhymes for the Mentally Ill

Rowing a Boat Through My Insanity

Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. And I have no idea how to wake up from this awful place.

I had just been on a date with Leron. I thought I loved him, and I thought he loved me back. I thought it was love at first sight. But he used me. I was more angry that self-pitying. I was mad at him, I was mad that I had ever met him. I cried a little bit over him, but not for long. I realized that it just wasn’t meant to be. It hadn’t lasted very long. And besides, I wanted to get home how was he ever going to get to my dimension? I had no idea what to think. All I knew was that something was wrong, very, very wrong.

I had been in a daze. I didn’t quite remember everything. All my memories felt like I had dreamt them up. But apparently I hadn’t. It felt like I was dreaming the whole time. Leron did something to me, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Even two seconds ago felt like a dream I had had four days ago. I just remember that I was in a strange place with my two friends. But there was someone else, and I think it might have been Humpty Dumpty, or was it a new kid at school? We had been trying to find someone or something. Then everything went wrong. We got separated somehow, all of us.

I just walked, I walked until my feet couldn’t take it, and then I walked some more. I had no idea where I was, where I was going, or who I needed to find. Maybe it was Ash. Maybe she had been here with me. Just then the thought occurred to me that maybe it had been Ash. I think it was, something in my mind was clearing up, just a small part of the big picture that I needed to see, but I think it was Ash who was with me, and maybe Alice. Maybe…

I had been alone for hours, days, maybe a week or two. My mind was in such a fog that I couldn’t remember whether it had just been dark outside, or if I had been walking in the searing heat for hours. Things were clearing up though. I had figured out that Alice and Ash were with me, along with the new kid at school, but what wasn’t clear in my mind was whether or not Humpty Dumpty was with us because I remember something about that. Maybe the new kid was Humpty Dumpty. But that seemed so far-fetched, yet so possible at the same time.

I had been in a mental limbo for the past… however many days. Time did not pass very fast. I was alone, I hadn’t seen a single soul since I was on a date with Leron. The amount of words you have read have been over the time period of at least a week. Nothing had happened. I would find some form of shelter when it got dark, and I would wake up in the morning just to keep walking, waiting for someone to cross my path.

Finally, one day I came across a small, very small, cottage. It was a little walk away from a small path I had found in the forest. I walked toward it, breathing slowly to keep my sanity from the excitement of civilization. I knocked on the Dutch doors and awaited what was going to answer the door. I heard a few women, not sure how many, whispering a shushing each other, when a petite, middle-aged woman opened the door. Her cautious and slightly kind eyes were looking up at me. I had no idea what she thought of me, my hair was a mess, and I probably had crazy eyes.

“Hello,” She said in a small voice, “Who might you be?”

“Hi, my name is Daniella, and I’m starving.”