Painkiller (BoyxBoy)

1. Dazed

Jeremy

"I'm probably going to get canceled for this. It's not a good work ethic to leave your channel for however long and just come back as though nothing happened, but that's the thing. I don't know what to do. It's been so difficult, juggling work, school, the channel, family, and everything is taking a toll on me and my mental health. It's not fun to wake up and wonder if your followers are angry with you for not uploading content when you said you would. And when the guilt for not doing something you promised you would start eating at you, you start spiraling into a never-ending tunnel, and you put off everything because you're scared that people will hate you and you wonder when exactly is the right time for you to get back in the game. But by then, it's already a little too late and everyone has already moved on and you wonder if it was even worth it. Was there any point in starting this in the first place? I don't know, but it's getting too painful for me to go on. And I'm sorry. I know you all expect much from me, I'm sorry for not delivering to your expectations and I'm sorry that I'm taking a long ass break when I haven't earned it. Yes, I'll still narrate stories and true crime docs, but no, I won't be streaming for a long while. I'm sorry."

He clicked stop, save, and upload on the laptop and watched with tired eyes as his three-minute video became live on his YouTube channel. This was it. It could either go well or go south very quickly and he wasn't sure which one he preferred. In the end, he was still going through with it. He could deal with the consequences later.

***

He felt calm, more than he had ever been in the past two weeks. Summer had ended a month ago, and yet, the pungent aroma that filtered through the coffee house and into his nostrils, giving him goosebumps, relaxed him. He breathed in the warm air, closing his eyes and wishing he could stay in the coffee shop forever.

It was only his first day back and he had a lot to unpack. Moving back to his hometown when he did not have family there anymore was a bad idea, but Jeremy was not regretting it yet. He was already here and had already made the arrangements he needed to make, so he couldn't back out now. All he needed now was to get his coffee and go.

Sighing, the tall boy walked up to the barista and placed an order for an iced latte, ironically. While he loved the bitter hot taste of freshly brewed coffee, he wanted to feel refreshed as he still felt as though he was being weighed down by his nonexistent burden.

He looked around the dark lit room, searching among the little tables for a free spot where he could sit and check his email, perhaps reply to an important one. The shop was full, he realized, possibly at capacity with a number of young adults. It was no wonder he felt his anxiety coming up again. Too many people, he thought.

His name was called, just when he unlocked the phone. He looked down at the don't disturb button, his thumb hovering over it before pressing the power button, locking the device. He'll deal with it later, he decided and went for his latte, in a hurry to leave the overcrowding shop.

***

Shane

Fuck! was all Shane could think as he rode his bicycle to the coffee shop in town where he was supposed to meet his girlfriend, Meghan. It wasn't that the boy had totally forgotten about their anniversary date - he even set an alarm - he just got stuck with sister duty as his parents loved to put it. Shane had spent the better part of his Saturday morning driving around town to his sister's friends' homes, in search of her. He wasn't entirely sure why he had to be the one to do this, and the fact that it had not even been twelve hours since Taylor left home angered him. There was no reason for him to be searching for her since she wasn't missing. Besides, Taylor always came home. His parents were just being paranoid, the boy decided as he ran a hand through his thick wavy brown hair.