MCR imagine book

Mental Health update/ The future of this book (I'M NOT LEAVING!! PLEASE READ)

PLEASE READ! IMPORTANT!

MENTAL HEALTH RELATED:

Here's a thing that not many people will agree with: there's a stigma around mental illness within people who have other mental illnesses.

Let me explain why I think that: You're never going to understand a person's disorder unless you go through the same one, and even so, you won't fully understand it because mental illness is different for everyone.

An example of this happening in my life: My two best friends are both depressed and each have a different anxiety disorder.

I have Social Anxiety and mild-moderate depression.

I find often that because neither of them have social anxiety, they don't understand my problems and even though they really do try to understand, they just don't seem to grasp the idea that certain things that they don't have a problem doing make me extremely uncomfortable/anxious and in worst case scenarios give me anxiety attacks. For example, in high school they've already made so many new friends and I feel like I'm genuinely stuck. I  barely talk in class, if at all, so how am meant to hold a conversation long enough to make a new friend?

And when I tell them all the time that things like this are hard they say "Oh it's okay, you just gotta not care about everyone else." And I try so hard but whenever I try it's like there's this wall blocking me from doing anything reckless or unplanned.

And with my depression (which after a couple years with, I am still weary to call it that- even though I know I shouldn't invalidate myself) I feel that sometimes just because I don't suffer from it nearly as bad as they do, and don't have all the symptoms they do, they don't truly believe that I have it.

Sometimes I don't even think I have it, but it's a reality for me. I have horrible self confidence, I literally hate myself, there are days where I feel either empty, or I'm too emotional, and I just feel so sad and upset so often, and stuck with everything, like I'm running out of time and it's just awful. I feel like no one cares about me and I'm going to lose all the people I care about, which then makes me anxious. That's besides the point.

And even so, when my friend was really suffering and couldn't figure out what was "wrong" with her, I suggested that she could be depressed (at that point we were sharing certain symptoms) and she totally disregarded the idea and said that it wasn't possible. But then a couple weeks later, my other friend suggested it to her, and  she believed it from her, the one who was really terribly depressed.

Then I asked her why she believed her and not me, who had suggested it to her multiple times, and she said "Well, she said that she felt a lot of the same stuff, and it sounded a lot like what she has and she even said she'd come with me to my first therapy appointment if I wanted her to."

Literally everything I said to her weeks prior but she didn't believe because I'm apparently not that depressed. It's not like I've been to therapy for it or anything. Not at all. 🙃

Now let me tell you: This is not me saying my friends are bad, or that they are invalidating me and my mental illness. My friends are biggest support system. Without them I would honestly be a mess. My best friend has been here for me since j.k. for everything in my life, including this. Hell, they even told me to go to therapy. They are amazing and I don't want anyone bashing on them, okay? Good. If I'm being honest, I get hurt over things like this easily, I just get what you would call... "Sad Jealous." (In which I get depressed when I feel replaced or forgotten)

Now that's not to say that I'm a saint. I've definitely done stuff like this before. That's why I can't be mad at them. I've done this too. I am aware that because my depression isn't severe that I can't fully understand what they are going through. I can try, like they do, but it'll never be the same because I'm not on that level. I have said things like "Just try to be happy," and "It's okay, everything will get better." In so many situations. I can try to understand but I will never fully be able to.

And because most humans tend to stray away from things they can't understand/get frustrated by the fact that it happens and they don't know why or how or how difficult it is for a sufferer, a stigma builds.

We can try to be better, and we are, for the most part, in the sense of mentally healthy people trying better to understand us/be supportive, but because mentally ill people want the stigma of others to be gone, we forget to work on it inside of our selves.

And I know that this isn't everyone! I am aware! Who knows, maybe it's just a thing for a few people and to anyone else it sounds terrible and negative and vain. But even if we don't want to admit it, even the littlest bit is there and I think we should all take time to work on it. I'm working on it by telling myself that just because it is easier for me to do something, it doesn't mean it's easy for someone else, and that has honestly helped a lot.

Thank you for that, and please try to be positive in the comments, if anyone comments at all.

Now, onto the future of this book.

I'm not leaving, I still love My Chemical Romance, they are still one of my favourite bands. Don't worry, I still love writing.

However, I don't love writing about THEM anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I love them all, and I am still inspired to write, so I will still write.

BUT I will continue to write imagines in my multifandom imagines book. That book is my soul purpose right now, I have imagines lined up for that one, and I will have at least one or two up before Halloween at the latest. (I am incredibly busy with school, and I'm not always in a writing mindset. I'm sorry I can't have more done sooner.)

Please check that book out, I take requests, and I promise that you'll be seeing more of me on this account more often.

If you are interested, I have a fan account on isntagram!

Its

@fangirl_bandgirl26

(same as my wattpad)

I would love to post things, but I need help trying to figure out how to get an audience so if anyone has a fan account and would like to help me, I'd be forever grateful!

Thank you so much for over 6k reads!!! I love you all. See you soon!