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Why is the world filled with so much love, yet not enough to give and take? Why do we want someone to love us, but we fail to love ourselves? Why do we need a mate to complete our soul? Why are we made in a way that we are bound to find our soulmates? Why in the world can we not just be alone?
Why can't I be alone? Why do I have to be the one to feel the emotion of love? I don't want this, I cannot feel it.
Of course, she can.
Aurora is made for love, she is loved by everyone. I grew up watching her being adored by boys, sometimes even complimented by girls.
But she has a point.
Can we just not be our own soulmates? Why in the world would people romanticize the idea of soulmates? We can have them in any form - siblings, parents, friends, even sometimes a stranger passing by. The modern culture has ruined the idea of soulmates by placing the emotion of love in it. Soulmates are supposed to be attracted to each other, of course, can love, be adored. But can they not just be normal? Why complicate the feelings?
I believe I can find a soulmate even in Karen, or in Brett. What if one of my professors is my soulmate? What if one fine day, someone walks in turquoise and we exchange eye contact, but never meet again and that person is my soulmate?
Do I really have to find my soulmate? Can I not survive without one?
"I think everyone is designed to have a soulmate." I heard Neil whisper in my ear from behind me. I passed him a smile as he planted a kiss on my forehead and took a seat next to me.
"Is that your final answer?" I asked. "What is your evaluation on the topic?"
He shrugged. "I don't think the concept of love ever needs an explanation."
"This is about soulmates, Neil. We don't have to add love to it."
"Mrs. Laurent definitely would want us all to mix up love and soulmate." He stated. I sighed.
"She needs to understand. This is not the old era. Not everything is about love."
He agreed with me. "You understand it, I do too. But she still lives in the 1700's era in her head. She is too focused on love to feel anything else."
"That lady might have one hell of a loving partner." I let out a chuckle.
Working on topics like this is a nightmare. Though Neil told me that I would've killed it in the presentation if I was the old me. But now, I don't feel connected to the other me, the older version. Everyone says I became more competitive and focused on my studies in high school, but I don't see myself as someone who would dedicate her teen years to studies. I still do love reading, but not these school works. What the hell is wrong with me?
"Are you excited about camping?" He asked. I nodded smiling. This is one thing that might not have changed in me. I still do love camping, or maybe I'll find out tonight.
"Who else is going to be there?"
"Whole senior year." He said. I sighed. If it were just six of us, it would have been better. Turns out this is a project, every senior year grade students follow the tradition. Camping is a part of Eastwood High which is soon followed by Senior Prom.
"Guys, Mrs. Laurent was called to the Dean's office so we have a free class now." A girl walked into the class and announced. Everybody cheered because nobody wanted to be a part of the discussion on some boring topic.
I and Neil walked out of the class towards our lockers. I have Calculus with Zach after the bell. Opening the locker, I placed my notes and took the Calculus book in my hand. Before I shut the locker, my eyes landed on a folded white paper stuck in the upper section. I took it out and opened it.
Hear a breaking?
My heart?
What does this person want from me?
Why am I being targeted?
I folded the paper back and placed it in the locker. I don't want some asshole to play with my head, I already have a lot on my plate.
I and Neil walked to the cafeteria as the others might still be in their classes. He walked to the machine and got two apple juices for us.
"What?" I raised my brow, he has been watching me constantly with a weird look. He shook his head. "No- what is it?"
"Are you okay?" He asked. I sighed. I knew I'd get this question from him. I'm sure he was just waiting for the right time.
"I'm fine, Neil. I've told you already. I'm perfectly fine."
"Alyssa, Twelve years is not a short period to completely understand my best friend." He stated. "I know when you hide."
"What do I have to hide?"
"Your emotions." He looked me in the eye. I hate him for this. He has the power to manipulate me with his words.
"I'm in no state to act upon my emotions."
"But can you at least not keep yourself confined on your own thoughts?" He asked me. "Whatever happened that night, you haven't talked about it. Don't suffocate yourself, Ally. Let it out."
"I will." I rushed to answer. "Soon."
He sighed. He took my hand in his and rubbed the knuckles. "I wish I was there. You wouldn't have to go through it alone."
"I had everyone there. It was an accident."
"You and I, we both know it was not." He tried not to raise his voice. "It was planned, it was pulled out to scare you."
"Can you not-"
"Stop ignoring it, Ally." He shut his eyes. "They knew about your fears."
"Rosie said they were my friends before everything happened."
Why can I not agree to whatever he has to say? When I know what could be the truth.
"Exactly," He took a pause. "Before everything happened. Now, things have changed. Sure Eleanor is still your friend. But you can't trust them."
"Did you meet with Landon lately?" I asked him. He gave me a confused look. "Landon has the same doubts about them. He doesn't trust those people."
"He is your brother. I'm your best friend. We know who are here for your good. All we want is to keep you away from them because they are capable of hurting you."
"Do you hate him too?" I asked. I had to ask. Does he believe the same? "Do you hate Arthur?"
His eyes went wide. "Why would you ask that?"
"I need an answer."
"I, I- I don't hate him." He expressed. "We have our differences. A lot has happened and we don't want you to get involved."
"This is all about me. I have the right to know."
"You don't understand. Life is not as beautiful as you imagine it. Life is a bitch, she plays her games and she never will think twice before hurting someone. Life plays its own games."
"You don't tell me the sins of life, Neil. I've had a bitter encounter with Life's enemy, Death." I took a pause. "I've got a lifeline and I don't intend to waste it on thinking who wants what from me. I don't care anymore, I don't want to hold back onto the past. I've enough of my nightmares to remind me that. Let not my day go all in worrying about the past."
"We want you to move on too, Ally. But not on the cost of more accidents like that night." He declared.
"You worry a lot, Weber." I stood up. "Loosen up." And planted a kiss on his cheek. "We have the whole night to stay up and worry about our lives."
He shook his head in annoyance. I know he gets irritated when I try to end the conversation like this. But it is of no use. I cannot let these people worry about me all the time. They have their lives to enjoy as well. I know they love me and want the best for me, but I cannot be a selfish person and let them not be there for themselves.
I walked out of the cafeteria and rushed to the restroom. Turning the tap on, I let water flow through my fingers and then I splashed cold water on my face. I looked up in the mirror and my reflection showed that the other side of me was clearly against whatever I said before five minutes. The other part of me is worried for myself, scared as hell for every next moment, annoyed that I have nothing in my hand that I can do to remember my past. The other me wants me to be scared, worried - just like her. But how can I lose myself again? If I let the other part of me win, I'll lose everything.
I saw a crack forming in the mirror. It grew and grew until I couldn't see the other side of me and the whole mirror was shattered into pieces. I shut my eyes to save myself. My breath was heavy as I opened my eyes in fear. The mirror was perfectly fine, not a single crack on it.
"You will break down one day."
The reflection of me looked in my eyes as she spoke. She had an evil smirk on her lips, the darkness in her eyes made my heart heavy.
"You will give up."
I covered my ears so I could block her voice. I shut my eyes so I don't have to face her.
"You are a coward, Alyssa. You will be the death of yourself."
"Shut up." I let out a scream. I fell on the floor and cuddled myself on my knees. I blocked my ears harder. The other side was getting stronger. She wanted to get into my head. "Shut up. Please." My voice was cracking, tears forming in my eyes. My heart was heavy and I had trouble breathing.
"You want to be brave?"
"You can never be brave. You are supposed to suffer. You will never save yourself. You can never save others from your misery."
My brain went numb. I had my eyes shut but I could feel my heart getting darker. Guess I was wrong, my heart doesn't want me to be my own soulmate.
"Oh my God, Ally."
I felt a hand on my shoulder and I was pulled in someone's arms. My back was patted as I tried to breathe.
"It's fine, everything's all right." I was rocked back and forth and I let myself be taken care of by this person. I didn't want to open my eyes, I didn't want to face myself.
"Open your eyes, Ally. I'm here." I heard the same voice. "Your pills, where are they?" Then the person tried searching for my pocket. They must be close to me to look in the pocket because they'd know that I keep my pills with me.
The same person asked me to open my eyes again, and I did. Still in fear that I might encounter my shadow laughing at me for being such a cry baby. I was met with Betty's worried eyes. She took me in her arm as she rubbed my back. She let me take deep breathes.
"What happened?" She asked as she handed me the pill and her bottle to gulp down the water. "Did you have one of those attacks again?"
I nodded. "I panicked," I mumbled. She rubbed my back and she sat next to me.
"It's fine, Ally. Just breathe. It's fine."
I inhaled and exhaled and did it more to calm myself. I tried to stand up and she helped me.
"Let's go home." She declared. I was in no state to say anything. I just wanted to get out of this restroom. She walked me out.
I stopped her. "Please don't let anyone know about this."
"But we have to let someone know. You had a panic attack in the middle of your day." She was worried.
"I'm fine, Betty. Please." I begged her. She sighed. Especially not Neil."
She told me she won't tell anyone about what happened in the restroom and we left the school building. She said she messaged Zach that she had a stomach ache and so had to rush back home and took me with her.
I shut my eyes as I rested my head while she drove back to my house. I hope Karen doesn't find anything suspicious about me. She'll kill me if I told her about the attack. She'll lecture me again for not taking my meds and that is the last thing I want to happen.
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"Are you sure Karen didn't find anything wrong with you?" Betty asked through the phone.
"Nothing's wrong with me. Stop saying that." Annoyed, I stated.
"Maybe you should skip the camping, babe."
"I need this tonight. I need an escape." I declared as I applied the cream to my hand.
"You keep saying that and you put a burden on your mind."
"Forget it, Elizabeth." I sighed. "Now let me get ready. Anyway, Zach will be here to pick me in ten minutes and then we will come to get you."
She said she was almost ready and only had to pack her pillow. I ended the call and walked to the bed. Taking the box of the medicines, I placed them in my bag and walked downstairs.
Dad was watching the news on the T.V. I walked to him and hugged him from behind. A smile formed on his lips. I took a seat next to him. "Have a safe night, kiddo."
I smiled. "I will dad. And you don't stay up all night worrying about me." I gave him an eye. "Go to sleep by eleven."
"You are my daughter. I'll always be worried about you." He rested a kiss on the side of my head. I watched the news with him and waited for Zach.
There was a knock on the door and I rushed to open it. Zach walked in and greeted dad. "Don't worry Uncle Keith. Your daughter has five guards with her." He let out a chuckle. I hit his arms.
"Enjoy your night, kids." He declared as we left the house. Zach and I walked to his car when he stopped me and placed a hand on my shoulder.
"You okay?"
I gave him a confused look. Ahhh. Now I know.
"You guys in relationship have to share every information, don't you?"
"Betty told me because she was worried about you." He stated. "She said it was a serious attack."
"It was nothing. It only happened for a moment." I defended myself. "Don't let the others know now. Let it be between you, her and me."
He still had his worried eyes on me.
"C'mon Zach. Don't give me that look. Let me enjoy the night." I dragged him to the car and opened the door. He sighed and turning on the ignition, he started driving.
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When we arrived at the Onhanx Woods, we were welcomed by some other students. We were instructed to wait in the parking area. Then along with the coach, we would proceed. I, Zach and Betty were the first one's from our group to arrive. Then came Neil with three of his football friends. He walked to us and pulled me in a warm hug after greeting Betty and Zach.
"You ready to stay up all night?" He asked resting his arm around my shoulder.
"And worry about our lives?" I asked back.
"Tonight, we'll just enjoy it. Like the old days." He declared, passing me a smile. Betty and Zach agreed. Skye and Jamie arrived together. They walked to us - with a third girl, arms locked with Skye.
"Guys, this is Pallavi." Skye introduced us to her date.
"So we finally get to meet the special one." Betty stated, pulling Pallavi in a hug. Neil and Zach passed her a smile. I shook hands with her.
Skye walked me aside while Pallavi talked to Betty and Jamie.
"Are they gonna like her?" She asked me. I knew it was a big deal for Skye to have our approval. We are her best friends and she wanted all of us to like Pallavi.
"She looks great. I'm sure everyone will love her. Look at Betty, she is already bonding well." Skye turned to look at them and then back to me.
"I'm not sure if Neil and Zach like her."
"Skye, they are just concerned about you." I rubbed her arm. "You should not worry about what they'll think. I'm sure they'll like her. What matters more is that you like her. So get back to your date."
She nodded and we walked back to them. The coach announced that everybody arrived and so we could now move forward to the campsite. It was in the middle of the forest. The school hosts the senior camp trip at the same place every year. It is a tradition. Everybody walked forward with their torch lights. As we walked, the broken branches made noise falling victim to our legs.
"I've waited for four years to finally have this experience." I heard a girl behind me say.
"Eastwood's Campings are always a hit. They either go well or end in disaster. I hope we don't have to face the latter." Some other girl stated.
"We will just have to wait for a perfect moment of drama."
"We have Danielle among us. Sure she'll bring drama tonight."
I rolled my eyes. Why do they have to be pessimistic? What bad can happen in the middle of the forest? We are practically twenty people together and this area is declared safe. I did my research before coming here. I wanted to be sure that we all end up in a safe place for the night. They chose to blame Danielle, who actually looked pretty funny walking in those heeled boots locking her arms with her friend, Kira.
We arrived at the spot and everybody cheered and applauded.
Woah.
This place is breathtaking. I mean, I was positive we'd be in an amazing spot but this is a total hit. In the midst of the forest, it felt like an open house fully designed with woods. The fallen woods were turned into long chairs, huge stones as a spot to sit. The woods were already set for a bonfire. The tents were set up as well. All the tents were neared with the trees. Unlike the rest of the forest, this part had lanterns and so we didn't need our torch lights. Everybody chose their tents and it was strictly stated that girls could not pair with boys and the same way round. I paired up with Betty and Jamie and we let Skye and Pallavi have their own tent. We were pretty sure we won't need these tents because we were planning to stay up all night.
It was a cold night, the wind ruffled the trees like nature was patting the forest for being so strong. We all gathered around the table and everyone took their seats.
"Friends, welcome to your senior camp trip." Coach Padilla greeted us. We all cheered. Every single one of us was excited for the night. I was looking forward to making new memories with my friends. I've already lost a lot in the past, I wanted to be there with them in the present.
"As Coach Oliver will not be accompanying us for the night, we have another host for the camp trip. He will be here soon." Coach declared. Everybody started assuming names on who might be the one to host the trip this year.
I gazed around and could only find Eleanor and Nik. She found me looking at her and waved hello with a smile. I returned the smile. Zoey was nowhere around. I suppose she chose to ditch the trip. Good for her, I wouldn't want to have another encounter with her. She thinks she can write another note threatening me and I'll let her play with my head? I'm sure she was the one to write that.
I walked to Eleanor and Nik.
"Where is Jordan?" I asked. "He left town to attend a wedding in his family." Nik stated. I nodded and was about to walk back to my friends when Eleanor called me.
"Hey, listen Alyssa." She took a pause. She was playing with her fingers which showed she was nervous about something. "What happened that night, it wasn't supposed to happen. I'm really sorry. I only wanted you to have a good evening. I thought you could spend your night with us like in the old days. I-."
"Eleanor, I don't remember the old days." I reminded her. "You shouldn't apologize. I'm glad you invited me. I sure did have a good time, before everything - you know."
She nodded.
"It's all right. I've forgotten the night. You should too." I assured her with a smile. She sighed.
"I was so worried. You left without saying anything. You just walked downstairs and never came back. Then Samuel came and told us that you were waiting for Landon near his car."
"Yeah, I just had to leave, get away from the Villa." I stated. I remember exactly why I rushed out of the Villa. I told everybody I'll be back in few minutes but I ran out and never went inside again.
I told her to have a good time and she nodded. I walked back to my friends and stood next to Jamie who was texting someone but immediately locked her screen as she saw me. That was weird. She smiled at me and we started talking about random things.
"I heard one of the Town Council member's son was murdered in this forest in the late '60s." Betty declared.
"It was an accident. A hunter mistook the son as an animal and shot him with his arrow. He took the son to the hospital but he was declared dead. Then the Town Council Members decided to pass a motion to ban hunting in this part of the forest because people wander around in the forest and it could be dangerous for human nature." Pallavi explained.
"Woah girl, you know a lot about this place." Zach exclaimed.
"She is majoring in environmental history." Skye stated proudly. She must be very happy in this relationship. Pallavi seems kind, she is older than Skye and I've seen a good balance in Skye in these past days. Love can surely play its games on everyone.
"Everyone, gather around." We heard the Coach called. We all walked to the table. "The host is here. He had some work so he got late. But here he is."
As the coach said, we saw a figure walking towards us from the darkness of the woods. As he came out in the light, everyone gasped, some in excitement, some in shock.
I had my own reasons to react. I was confused, angered, shocked as well.
"What is he doing here?"
"Why is he the host this year?"
"Why did he agree to be the host?"
"We know why."
All these could be heard mumbled from every single person's mouth. They all had to assume things according to them.
I had my eyes on him. He greeted the coach and was welcomed by his friends, Nik and Eleanor who were beyond happy to have him here. He looked different, tired. Yet he carried the same concerned eyes with him that he had the night of the party. Why is he always so sad?
I crossed my arm as he greeted everyone individually but chose to ignore me. Some girls started gossiping about it which boiled my anger even more. How dare he give me that look? He chose to ignore me, he made sure I understood his move.
Coach asked us to take our seats. While some sat on the stones, some chose to seat on the wooden chair, some decided to stand and some sat on the ground. A cold breeze passed and everybody shivered.
"Senior year is the final year of your school. It is missed with all the memories of the high school, the troubles of the final year and is a mixture of all kinds of emotions." Coach stated. "These are the final days before you enter the real world. In the world of competition, the world full of imagination yet with all the true colours of its own. Before you end your school life, enjoy this night in the name of friendship and love, in the name of holding on or letting go, in the name of youth."
Everybody clapped at his speech. I did too and so did he. My urge to walk to him and confront him for ignoring me was building up every next second and I couldn't just stand here and let him win this game. I'm the one who was supposed to ignore him but he chose to play his cards first.
"We'll start now with the traditional game of Eastwood High. The game is called, what am I most thankful for."
Coach asked someone to start and so Nik took his chance.
"I'm thankful for the most gracious years of my life. I'm grateful for my girlfriend, El." He planted a kiss on her cheek as she blushed. "I'm thankful for my friends who, in these years have become my family."
Nik passed a smile to him which he returned with the same sincerity. The way his eyes narrowed as he smiled, showed how much he liked Nik.
"I'll go next." Danielle spoke up.
"She can only be thankful to her father. The trustee of the school." Some guy spoke. Everyone booed. Danielle showed him a finger.
"I'm thankful to everyone who chose me as the president. I'm also thankful, especially to this year for taking different turns and playing it's cards on people's lives." As she spoke, she gave me a look, the look of witty. Was that a taunt? She sat back and still had her eyes on me. That bitch.
Neil rubbed my back, he saw me shooting glared at the blonde bitch.
Everyone took their turns. It was my turn now. I stood still, I didn't want to speak, yet I had so much to say. What am I most thankful for?
"My life," I mumbled. But then I realized, I uttered it out loud and now everyone was waiting for me to continue. I didn't dare to look at him, because I didn't want to share my thoughts while having his eyes on me.
"I'm thankful for this life. I- I truly am blessed to have another chance at life. God must be gracious that he gave me my extra years. I wasn't supposed to be here, maybe I wasn't destined to be a part of this senior trip, because I was almost dead at the beginning of the year. But here I am." I took a pause and inhaled. "With my life, with a new myself - trying to cope up with the senior year and the newness around me. I'm truly grateful to have my friends and family with me. I cannot ask for me. I think I'm blessed by God himself. He gave me a chance to rebuild what I must've left behind, what was shattered."
For a good second, the whole area went dead silent. One could only hear the night creepers, but then my friends were the first ones to applaud. They cheered for me and along with them, the others did too.
The coach came up with another question. One memory that you'll cherish the most from your high school days.
One by one, everyone shared their memories. Some cried while saying their tale, some laughed while sharing the funny parts. The whole atmosphere was filled with emotions of happiness and sorrow.
When you graduate high school, you don't only move forward in your life, but you also leave a lot behind.
Maybe we all were worried about leaving a lot behind, scared about the future world. But the smiles on our lips showed, we truly wanted to enjoy the night.
"The memory I'll cherish the most is that I am left with no memory of my past four years." I let out a chuckle. Seeing me joke about my situation, the others laughed along with me. "But if I truly have to choose one memory, it would be from my sister's high school days. I remember when Aurora was getting ready for her first day of Junior High. She was really excited because of course she loved going to school." I scoffed. "I waited for the whole day to hear from her, how her first day was. When she returned, she had this huge smile. She told me - high school is going to be the best experience of your life. Since that day, I waited eagerly to be in High school and experience all the great moments that she got to live. I was excited because I would get to live the legacy of my sister. I wanted to be just like her. Being in high school meant being like Aurora." A tear escaped from my eyes and fell on my cheek. I wiped it away.
Jamie rubbed my arm as my friends clapped for me. But after my speech, there was an awkwardness in the air. I saw girls whisper to each other something about me, I even heard some guys talk about me. I couldn't understand what the tension was.
"Aurora Pearson, the true role model for Alyssa," Danielle spoke. "If you were so determined to walk her path of high school, will you walk the same path she chose further in her life?"
"Danielle."
Neil yelled at her. At the same time, he did too.
"And again, she's got boys to fight for her." She scoffed and sat back giving me a smirk of her victory. What did she just say? I couldn't understand a thing.
The same path?
What path?
I excused myself and rushed out of the area. My friends ran after me but I stopped them. My breathing was heavy and I guess I was having the same feeling in my heart that I had earlier. I didn't want to worry them, so I asked them to give me my space. They stopped right there. They know however difficult the situation will get, we give each other our space to think.
I walked behind the tents and sighed. Inhaling and exhaling like an exercise of yoga, I shut my eyes. I could feel myself relaxing. I like this exercise. Dr. Payton suggested I try this, every time I have difficulty in coping with any situation.
Opening my eyes, I met mine with the oceanic blue gaze at me. Carrying a straight face, his jaw tightened, like he was struggling with his emotions in his mind.
"You've got no other place to be?" I asked him. The anger in me wanted to act upon my actions. "What do you want?"
He didn't say a word, instead just kept his gaze on me like he was seeing a ghost.
I sighed and chose to walk away. I cannot stand here and let him freak the hell out of me. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back from walking away. I turned to face him.
"Where are you going?"
His calm tone bothered me more. I'm a mess in my head and he is so relaxed that it bothered me more. Could I just throw a punch at him?
"Away from you."
He sighed. "Alyssa-"
"Arthur." I shut my eyes and inhaled. Opening my eyes again, I decided - I should just tell him the truth, whatever I have in my mind. I cannot hold this back. I have to get this emotion out. "I need you to stay away from me."
He gave me a confused look. I said it as calmly as I could. "I cannot risk my life anymore. You tricked me."
"I-what?"
"You let Zoey hurt me. She played her games, she almost killed me. I was all alone in that pool room, I panicked. It was dark, I- I couldn't," I took a pause. Thinking about the night again brought back the feeling of fear.
"I'm sorry about the night." He mumbled. He didn't even have the balls to look in my eyes and apologize.
"You are what?" I asked him. He faced me. "Don't you dare play that game with me. You are not sorry about anything." I tried not to yell at him. I still was trying to control my anger. "I was stupid to believe that you'd come to talk to me, to ask about my health. I was hoping you'd do something about whatever happened. But, I was wrong. You didn't even care."
He opened his mouth to say anything, but I stopped him.
"I still thought in my stupid mind that maybe I should come to talk to you. After our argument, I still got up and walked downstairs, even after Landon scolded me not to. You know what, Thank God I did." I spoke. "Or else I'd never know the truth, your true face."
The way he was reacting to my words made me lose my temper even more.
"You knew Zoey trapped me in the pool room. She tried to hurt me. But you didn't do anything about it."
"I - I, Alyssa. That is not true." He stated.
"I heard her." I hissed. "Don't you fucking lie to me. She asked you what could've happened if you didn't find me on time. You knew she locked me there. She did that for her revenge."
"You have to understand -"
"She needs to stay away from me. Whatever you two have between you, whatever your stupid relationship is, I don't fucking need her to be a jealous bitch and hurt me just because I spent time with the man she has feelings for."
"What?" He asked shocked. Oh my, he should be an actor.
"How could you?" I asked. "How could you betray your best friend? I thought you and Jordan were like brothers. But whatever Zoey has for you, at least you could keep your hands off. She is your best friend's girlfriend."
"You are misinterpreting the situation."
"No, I am not. Zoey has tried to hurt me many times, the look in her eyes clearly states that she doesn't like me around you. If she has such strong feelings for you, why is she cheating on Jordan?"
"She is not cheating on him."
"And you?" I scoffed. "Smooth move, trying to get your hands on your best friend's girlfriend."
"Shut up, Alyssa." He hissed. "You've said enough."
"No, I have not." I didn't care if I invited the animals of the forest to watch this show, I just had to let my anger out. "That bitch and you, whatever games you both have in your head, you re-think them. I'm not going to fall for any more traps." I snapped at him. "You stay the hell out of my life."
I decided to walk away. I didn't want to say anything anymore. Looking at him made me want to punch him for his actions as well as Zoey's.
He grabbed my arm and pulled me back. His concerned eyes were now replaced with anger in them. He dig his nails under my skin and it burnt. I tried to pull away my arm, but he had a strong grip. He wouldn't just let go.
"Let me go." I hissed. "Let go of my hand."
He pulled me even closer to him that I could literally see the mixture of colours in his eyes. There was no space for air to pass from between us.
"If you've got the guts to accuse someone, you must have them to face the truth as well." His breath fell on my face as he spoke. Every word came with a pause as he tried to calm himself.
"I don't want your excuses. You can play with whoever you want. But you should be ashamed for stabbing your best friend."
"I'm not stabbing anyone. Not Jordan, not you." He let go of my arm and I rubbed where he left a mark. I glared at him. "I don't know what you saw but you should've heard the whole conversation before jumping to any conclusions. You don't own a fucking right to accuse me when you don't know the truth."
"I don't need your proof. I heard everything."
"No, you didn't." He raised his voice. "You didn't hear me when I asked Zoey to apologise to you. Yes, I knew she was the one to lock you, but not before that. She confessed it. I was just as angry at her as you are at me."
I stood there crossing my arm against my chest. He could come up with as many excuses as he wants, I didn't care.
"I was worried for you. I tried to look everywhere. We all were worried. We checked every corner of the Villa. I couldn't stop until I found you. The thought of you being in some kind of danger scared me. I had to find you before something happened." He grabbed my arm again and pulled me close to him. "Do you have any idea what was going on with me?" He asked. He was looking for an answer in my eyes. I was scared all of the sudden, something about his actions worried me.
"With every passing second, I grew more anxious. It was killing me for not being able to find you. I blamed myself for not being there in the pool room. When I finally found you, I could finally breathe. When I took you in my arms and saw those dried tears in your eyes, it worried me what could've happened to you in the dark room."
"You-"
"I'm not done yet." He stated. "I stood for you, somewhere in my heart - I blamed myself because you were trapped in the pool room because of me. I shouldn't have brought you to the party. I was already worried about Zoey's actions. I knew she'd try to hurt you. But yet I let you come to the party because Eleanor wanted you there. I just wanted you to have a good evening." He inhaled and shut his eyes. He let go of my arm and took a step back. There was enough space between us now.
"My only fault that evening was that I tried to push you away. Our argument had already fucked up my brain and so I was avoiding you. If I hadn't, I would've been in the pool room with everyone and taken care of you."
Our eyes weren't locked anymore. He wasn't even looking at me. The softness in his tone changed my mood. Suddenly, I felt anger on myself. I was no more in the mood to fight him because I blamed myself.
But what about Zoey?
What does she need?
Why is she trying to hurt you?
My subconscious told me. I sighed.
At the end of the day, the note said it right - I heard a breaking, it indeed was my heart. For what reason, I don't know. But in accusing Arthur and trying to find answers, I did hurt myself as well.
"You were right, Arthur." I mumbled. "We shouldn't be around each other."
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Woah, two chapters in one week. I am proud of myself. You guys deserve an update because I didn't update for the whole month and anyway, I'll be attending my sister's wedding for the next seven days.
Though Pallavi may or may not be in many chapters, I introduce Radhika Apte as Pallavi Shriram. She is a beauty. ❤ Do you want to see more of Pallavi and Skye? Do you guys ship her? #SKAVI
I feel so stupid for ruining the chapter. I had something else in my mind but this suited well.
But what is wrong with Alyssa. She thinks Zoey and Arthur have feelings for each other. Ahhh, poor girl. Someone tell her the truth.
I feel bad for Arthur. Each time he tries to have a good time, he is fucked all over by fate.
Who do we blame? Oh, oops. ME.
Anyway, how many of you want more flashbacks? I love writing the flashbacks. I have something in mind and will share it soon.
Stay tuned.
Dedicating this chapter to wigglysubu ❤
Also, Dredge116 made a beautiful teaser for the story. It is posted on the first chapter of the story. Go check it out. ❤