"I hate this, I lost almost half of my scrub team,"
Renee stood with Derek at the lobby, people were saying their goodbyes and the thought that she couldn't help anyone for keeping their jobs, it almost made her cry, she walked past Mark towards Irene who had been her scrub nurse ever since she joined the hospital. The nurse had been crying, she was a single mother with a sick kid, Renee just couldn't understand how the mother was smiling even after losing her job.
"Just call me, whenever you need my help, job recommendation, anything," Irene gave a light sob as Renee hugged her tightly. It was difficult seeing so many people lose jobs after what they have done for the hospital and for the patients.
"I don't understand what I did wrong,"
"You didn't do anything wrong, it's about the money," Irene nodded as she picked up her stuff and walked away. Renee wiped her cheeks before looking over at Derek who was standing with Owen along with Christina and Meredith, both of whom were refusing to go home.
Renee turned around to see Lexie who was crying in Ben's arms while Avan was sitting alone in one corner, his eyes were rimmed red and she couldn't help but feel dread as she walked towards him and took a seat beside him.
"How are you?"
"I didn't get cut but I can't help feel bad for all these people, most of them were the single earners of their families," Avan said with a sniff, he put his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking slightly as he seemed to control himself from crying.
"Go home, get some sleep, you've not left the hospital since the merger was announced," Renee said as she patted his back.
"I don't need sleep, it's overrated anyway,"
"Don't be stupid, you not sleeping will lead to losing concentration in the OR....that can't happen in my OR. So, go home, get some sleep, we'll meet tomorrow,"
"I know it hasn't exactly been easy around here....the past few weeks. And I know you want answers. But I'm afraid I don't have them, Not just yet ..."
Richard's speech was probably one of the most pathetic things she had ever heard in her life, Renee rolled her eyes at him as he continued, she looked over at Mark who was eyeing down a danish as if that was the only thing on his mind, it probably was.
"He brought us down here to make himself feel good," Derek said to both of them.
"Well, at least he sprung for good danish," Mark said picking up the danish.
"You know how many nurses got fired for that danish?" Derek said before Mark gave him a look and put the danish back.
"Will you two shut up?" Renee snapped the two irritably.
"What's got her knickers in a twist?" Derek asked with a smile.
"Leave her be, she lost her scrub nurse, she's allowed to a little cranky,"
"The mercy west staff will be arriving in three days, And when they do, there will be more cutbacks and more layoffs. And I need each and every one of you to step up and be leaders. And when I can answer your questions, I will,"
"When will my new supplies for chemo come?" Renee asked but it got drowned when all the attending spoke over each other.
"If you would like to make an appointment to talk about your concerns ..."
"Is my hyperbaric lab getting shut down?" Nelson asked.
"You were right. Excellent danish."
"Lexie's is going mad,"
"I know that that's why she started dating you,"
Renee gave Ben a smile as she went back to her sandwich however she didn't miss the look on his face. Ben stole her fry as he went ahead to tell her about how Lexie's dad was at the hospital for end-stage liver failure and needed a transplant but couldn't get on the donor's list as he hasn't been sober for the required time.
"So, Lexie's giving her dad part of her liver?"
"If she's a match...but the man's a drunk...how long will it take for the liver to be damaged again?"
"But it's her father...wouldn't you want to do anything possible to keep your father alive?" Renee asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Not if he's a drunk,"
"Ben...stop being an ass, you're her boyfriend, you love her, just support her in whatever that she needs...okay?"
"You should've been a psychiatrist,"
"Yeah, that's what I am planning if I get fired during the next cut,"
"You're an attending, how could you get fired?"
"Richard's not really in a good state of mind right now, he can do anything,"
"Dr Foster, I need some consult on this patient,"
"Dr Hunt, Trauma needs help from oncology, that's new,"
"Yeah, I had this patient, Randy Helsby, I found a sarcoma during his workup and he came back today, I found a third one," Owen said as he handed her the file. She flipped through the chart.
"Yeah, he needs surgery,"
"Great, I'll book the OR," Owen said as he walked away. She went over to the nurses' station and handed over a file to the nurse when she was joined by Mark, who had a very funny look on his face.
"What?"
"I have an older patient who wants a penile implant," Mark said.
"Penile implant?"
"Uh-huh,"
"So?"
"Well, he's a little talkative and says that this implant will help him with a younger gal,"
"I get it...now you're thinking if you'll need it when you're his age?" Renee said with a laugh, Mark pinched the bridge of his nose and they both went over to the coffee.
"You think I'll need it?" Mark asked.
"How am I supposed to know if you'll lift it up when you're old? Depends if you find me hot then,"
"I'll always find you hot,"
"Flattery will get you everywhere,"
"Ah, damn it,"
Owen and Renee exchanged eye contact, the patient was in much worse condition then they had initially thought and with the amount of damage that had been done to the body it would be a very difficult surgery to perform.
"It's worse than I thought. The scarring's completely fused his organs together," Owen said.
"God, it looks like somebody poured a bottle of glue down there," Renee said as she tried to find another way to fix this...mess.
"How do we fix it?" Izzie asked.
"We don't," Renee and Owen said.
"If we could just get to the cancer, I think we could get clean margins," Izzie said, Renee looked over at her, she could see the desperation in her eyes, it seemed too personal, she seemed too attached to it.
"With this many adhesions, The risk of tumour rupture ... it's too high," Renee said with a shake of her head.
"We cut into him again, we're doing more harm than good," Owen said.
"But maybe if we just ..." Izzie tried again but was cut off by Renee.
"We have to know when to say when Stevens. And I'm saying when,"
"I'm sorry,"
Renee and Owen were with Randy and his girlfriend, who was very upset.
"But there's gotta be something else you can do. He's 31. We just bought a condo together. We just rescued a puppy," Angela cried.
"Ange, Ange, it's gonna be okay," Randy said as he tried comforting his couple.
"No, it's not... they're just sending you home to ... What kind of doctors are you? You're supposed to do something,"
"They're doing everything they can. All right, look, Dr Hunt's given us extra time, time that we never would've had ..."
"Dr Foster...Dr Hunt, can I see..." Izzie said as she gestured outside the room.
"Excuse me," Renee and Owen said as they stepped out.
"We could try cytoreductive surgery," Izzie suggested.
"It won't work. We have to be able to remove the entire tumour. With these kinds of adhesions, you can't do that," Owen said.
"Okay, then what about ball-tipped electrosurgery? It could help us get around the adhesions," Izzie suggested again.
"His cancer is incurable. Now I'm not gonna put that man through another excruciatingly painful surgery When he's got a survival rate of 13%," Renee said, she could see where Izzie was coming from
"I had 5%,"
"Stevens ..." Renee interrupted again.
"I had a 5% chance of survival. I have incurable cancer, but I am living with it. And the only reason I am, the only reason I'm standing here right now is because no one ever said to me, "we've done everything can do." I'm alive right now because you people fought for me. Cristina fought for me. He deserves the chance to fight. He doesn't want it, fine. I will shut up. But he deserves a chance," With another look at Izzie, they entered the room, giving hope to the couple.
"Make sure you keep the bowel covered. I need more wet laps," Renee said as she put some wet laps on the bowel.
"Ah. Oh, he's got some collateral bleeding. I'm gonna need the argon beamer. Hang more F. F. P."
"B. P.'s dropping out," Flatline.
"He had a couple of months, And we just took that away," Owen said as he walked away.
"I'm sorry, It's my fault," Izzie said to Renee as they both entered the elevator. Renee was angry, she was angry at herself.
"No, it's my fault. It was my call, and it was the wrong call. I was wrong, and I should've known better. I should've ...I should've taught better. But, you know, you see a one in a million, And you want to believe. I was wrong to do the surgery. You weren't ready. You weren't ready to be here. You beat the odds, Stevens. You were that one in a million,"
"But you cannot be a doctor and a patient in here. You have to choose,"