-May 16th 2001-
Me,Joey and Eliana enter the Hotel Lobby and we see Rachel and Phoebe are at the front desk checking out.
Rachel:Listen y’know what sir?.For the last time I don’t care what the computer says we did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr.Do-Me-A-Little!.
Tabitha,Joey:Good morning.
Cassius:"Enters".Hey!.
I look to the front desk clerk.
Tabitha:Room for Tribbiani.
The clerk nods and gets me my bill and I grab my money and pay for it.
Phoebe:Oh!.Cas uh were you in our room last night?.
Cassius:No.
Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Cassius who gets mad.
Cassius:I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!.
Chandler and Monica enter and Chandler looks to the front desk clerk.
Chandler:Hi!.We’re checking out of the bridal suite.
Monica:"Sad" That’s right.I’m no longer a bride.I’ll never be a bride again.Now I’m just someone’s wife.
Chandler:And I’m the happiest guy in the world.
Monica goes and sits down in a huff.
Chandler:Oh honey come on don’t be upset. We still have so much to look forward to.
Monica:Oh yeah right."Rolls her eyes".
Chandler:We got the honeymoon.
Monica:That’s not til Thursday.
Chandler:The wedding pictures?.
Monica:They won’t be ready for weeks.
Chandler:Not the disposable cameras from the tables.
Monica:That’s true!."Happily".I knew I married you for a reason.
Chandler:I’ll tell you what I will go get them developed and you can go home.
Monica:Okay.
Cassius giggles.
Chandler:What?,What did you take a picture of?.
Cassius:Nothing!.It was something.
Chandler:Okay Ross has the cameras has he checked out yet?.
Rachel:Are you joking?.Check out is not til noon and he has a good."Checks watch".Eleven minutes left.
Chandler:Oh.
Tabitha:Ross has never checked out of a room a minute before he had to.
Rachel:Yeah one time when we were dating uh we got a late checkout he got so excited it was the best sex we ever had. Until y’know he screamed out Radisson at the end.
Joey:Hey there are baby ears in the room!.
Chandler:Okay well I’m gonna get Ross,get the cameras and get them developed.
Cassius laughs again.
Chandler:32 Cas.You’re 32!."Leaves".
???:"To Monica".Here’s a copy of your bill.
Monica:Oh thanks."Reading bill".Champagne,strawberries…Oh my God!.I can’t believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night.
Cassius:Yeah that’s sad.Mashuga nut?.
We share at Cassius.
*****************************************
Me,Joey and Cassius enter Monica and Chandler's apartment.We see she opened all the presents.
Monica:I don’t know how any of these got opened?!.
Tabitha:You opened them all?.
Monica:I know!,I know!.I am a terrible person.I meanChandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again.
Joey:Oh hey!.You got my parent’s gift!."Holds it up".
Monica:Yeah.What is that?.
Joey:Well I don’t know.I think it does something to salami.
Phoebe and Rachel enter the apartment.
Monica:Hey!.How’d it go?.
Cassius:Yeah.What,what did Tag say?.
Rachel:Tag is not the father.And Cas knows now?.
Cassius:I do Rach.I do and I am so happy for you."Hugs her".
Rachel:Oh wow you didn’t even try to unhook my bra.
Tabitha:So are you ever gonna tell whoever it is?.
Rachel:No I will.I’m just not up for it tonight.
Cassius:Hey Rach listen no matter what this guy says I want you to know you’re not gonna be alone in this.
Rachel:I’m not?.
Cassius:Listen I uh."Takes her hand".It’s a scary world out there especially if you’re a single mom.Y’know I always felt like you and I have this,this special bond.Y’know?. So."Gets down on one knee".Rachel Green will you marry me?.
Rachel:What?.
Joey,Tabitha,Monica:What?!.
Phoebe:What?!.
Cassius:Pheebs give me the ring back!.
Phoebe:No!.
Rachel:No!.Cassius oh you’re so sweet. You’re so,so sweet honey.But I’m not,I’m not looking for a husband.
Cassius:"Heartbroken".I understand.
Rachel;Now if you will excuse me I am going to go and lie down."Leaves".
Phoebe:I can’t say that didn’t hurt.But I’ll take you back Cassius Moore.
Cassius:Uh yeah.Pheebs listen about that.I only offered-
Phoebe:Oh!.A Salami Buddy!.
Joey:There you go!.
Chandler and Ross enter with the pictures.
Chandler:We’re back!.
Monica:Great!.We’re hanging in the kitchen!.
Monica drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room.
Monica:Let’s stay in the kitchen.
Chandler:It’s picture time.
Ross:Now you are going to love these.
Chandler:"Showing her pictures".Here’s a picture of Ross."Shows another one".And that’s me."Another one".And that’s me and Ross."Another one".Oh-ho that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Monica:Wow!.That is a great picture.
Chandler:Eh?.
Monica:Yeah!.Oh and interesting because I found the cameras in one of our bags.
Monica throws the bag of cameras into his chest.
Ross:Huh didn’t see that coming.
Chandler:Okay so this isn’t a picture of our first but it is a picture of my first kiss with,with this lady.Which by the look on your face I’m sure you’ll remember.So we don’t need."Rips picture".There’s no need to have this picture.How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Monica:That would be a good idea.
Chandler:Okay."Sees living room".You opened all the presents without me?!.I thought we were supposed to do that together!.
Monica:You kissed another woman!.
Chandler:Call it even?!.
Monica:Okay!.
They high-five and he walks out of the apartment.
Ross:Well I’m gonna go get these."Referencing bouquet".In some water.
Phoebe:Wait you stole those from these people’s wedding?.
Ross:No,no I took them from the hotel lobby.Yeah they think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts they got another think coming."Starts to leave".Hey!.My sweater!.I’ve been looking for this for like a month!.
Ross leaves which leaves Me,Phoebe and Monica shocked.
Tabitha,Monica,Phoebe:Oh my God!.
Cassius,Joey:"Slow on uptake".Oh my God!.