-January 6th 2000-
At Central Perk Cassius and Janine are pretty much making out at one of the tables as Me,Joey,Monica and Rachel look on from the couch.
Janine:I gotta go.
Cassius:Okay."Kisses her".
Janine:I’m gonna be really late for dance class.
Cassius:Okay."Kisses her".
Janine:Okay now I’m really late."Gets up".
Cassius:Okay I’m all right okay but hey could you just leave your lips?.
Janine kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave but turns to Me,Joey.Monica and Rachel.
Janine:Bye.
Monica:Bye.
Janine leaves and Joey plays with Eliana with a few of her stuffed animals.
Cassius:Have you kissed her yet?.It’s awesome.I could do it forever.Y’know what?.She,she kisses better than my mom cooks!.
Monica:I am so glad you said cooks.
Rachel:I know.
Chandler:"Enters".Oh hey Rachel sweetheart?.You have got to tell the post office that you have moved.Okay?.We are still getting all your bills and stuff.
Chandler hands her all of her bills and stuff.
Rachel:Oh,oh Pottery Barn.
Rachel grabs the catalog and holds the rest back out to Chandler.
Rachel:You can throw the rest away.
Chandler:I’m not your garbage man.I’m your mailman.
Rachel:Monica look!.Look,look,look!.Here is that table that I ordered."Shows her picture".
Monica:You got it from Pottery Barn?!.
Rachel:Yeah!.It’s an apothecary table.Does anyone even know what an apothecary is?.
Chandler:A pharmacist.
Rachel mocks him.
Tabitha:Rach Phoebe hates Pottery Barn.
Joey:I hate Pottery Barn too.They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed!.
Tabitha:You took off your pants and climbed under the sheets.
Joey:I was tired!.
Rachel:Phoebe hates Pottery Barn?!.
Monica:Yeah she hates all mass produced stuff.She thinks her furniture should have a history a story behind it.
Rachel:Well this has story behind it!.I mean they had to ship it all the way from the White Plains store.
Monica:It’s gotta be one of a kind.Y’know like um y’know uh what’s that God awful ceramic fruit bowl she has on her counter?.
Cassius:Hey!.I made that for her!.
Chandler:You made pottery?.
Cassius:Yeah!.I made it of this fruit bowl I found in the garbage.
Monica:I’m telling If you put that in her apartment you’ll never hear the end of it.
Rachel:Okay fine!.I’ll,I’ll just tell her it’s an antique apothecary table she doesn’t have to know where it came from.Oh!.Look at this little drawers!.Oh look,look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
Chandler:Ah just like the apothecary tables of yore…
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-January 13th 2000-
At Central Perk Me,Joey,Chandler,Phoebe,Rachel and Monica are hanging out as Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.
Ross:Hey you’re not going to believe this.I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy.They printed it!.
Tabitha:I didn’t know Playboy prints jokes.
Ross:Yeah they print jokes,interviews,hard hitting journalism.It’s not just about the pictures.
Monica:That didn’t work on mom it’s not going to work on us.
Ross:"Showing page".Here check it out.It’s the first one too.
We all laugh except Chandler who’s a little angry.
Chandler:That is funny.It was also funny when I made it up.
Ross:What?.
Chandler:I made that joke up.
Ross:Uh oh,oh no you didn’t.I did.
Chandler:Yes I did.I told it to Dan at work and he said it was the funniest joke he’d ever heard.
Ross:Hey tell Dan Thanks.
Rachel is looking at the magazine and laughing.
Ross:What?.
Rachel:I’m sorry I was just reading the joke below it.Man that one is funny.
Ross grabs the magazine away from her.
Chandler:Monica you remember me telling you that joke right?.
Monica:No.
Chandler:Seriously?.
Monica:Well you tell a lot of jokes.
Ross:Look Chandler it’s my joke.But hey if it makes you feel any better they don’t print the name so it doesn’t really matter who gets credit right?.
Chandler:Yeah I guess.
Cassius:"Enters".Hey guys.
Chandler jumps up from his chair.
Chandler:Hey Cassie Playboy printed my joke.
Ross:No it’s my joke it’s mine.You can call them they’ll tell you.
Chandler:It’s my joke.
Ross:It’s my joke.
Cassius:Whoa,whoa.whoa.Jokes?.You guys know they have naked chicks in there right?.
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-February 3rd 2000-
At Central Perk Cassius is giving Rachel, Chandler,Phoebe and Ross our bills.
Cassius:Okay Rach that muffin and espresso $4.50.Ross double latte $2.75.Chandler coffee and a scone $4.25.And Pheebs herbal tea $1.25.So all together that’s...$12.75.
Chandler:This coming from the man who couldn’t split our 80 dollar phone bill in half.
A woman approaches.
???:Hi.
Cassius:Hi.
???:How much do I owe you for the muffin and the latte?.
Cassius:Oh that’s on the house courtesy of Cassius.
???:Oh great!.Well tell him thanks.And since uh Cassius seems like such a nice guy maybe we could go on a date sometime?.
Cassius:Well he’s not used to women being so forward with him but uh I could check with him...He says it’s okay.
She hands him her card.
Cassius:Great!.Thanks.Bye-bye.
Ross:Hey Cas how come our stuff isn’t free?.
Cassius:It will be when you look like that in a tight skirt.This is great.I’m getting more dates than ever.
Rachel:Wait a minute you’re only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls?.
Phoebe:Yeah Cas that is so gross.
Cassius:How about a scone on the house baby?.
Phoebe:"Giggles".I’m pretty.
Rachel:Anyway Tab where is Joey and Eliana?.
Tabitha:He took her to the bathroom.They'll be back soon.
I bounce my leg as I tell Rachel that.
Chandler:You okay?.
Tabitha:I don't like being away from my daughter for so long...