3,646
I bounded into my house, storming up the stairs and into my room as quickly as possible.
I stripped out of this terribly uncomfortable dress and sky high high heels throwing on a pair of my flannel pajama bottoms and my favorite warm and bulky NY Yankees sweatshirt.
Ahhh. There, that's better... More comfotable.
I flopped down on my bed and my mind reeled with the events that had taken place over the last 5 hours.
Still not being able to believe Dom had actually touched me so pervertedly and tried to dance with me like that.
Scumbag.
Then my mind wanered to my wolf.
I still hadn't gotten over the incident that happened in my backyard, with the rest of his pack.
And I yelled at him! My poor wolf. But then he followed me. And brought me home when I needed him,
I still didn't fully understand. After 10 years, and I still didn't understand our connection. It just made no sense.
Because I have two dogs, but it's not the same... I love both my Golden Retriever and Chocolate Lab, and I'm pretty sure they love me back.
But the connection is not the same.
While I laid on my bed I contemplated the big picture and wondered what my wolf really thought of me?
Why did he follow me? Why did he watch me?
Maybe I'll never know.
As I started to drift in and out of conciousness, I fell asleep to the vision of cold blue eyes as deep as the ocean
▪▪▪
I woke up with a start. My body was sticky and sweaty. I glanced at my clock, 3:04.
Shit. I wanted to go up to my attic to see my wolf.
There was still had a few hours before dawn.
I put my coat and boots on and quietly walked up to my attic.
I walked around all the boxes and junk hazardly placed around the floor.
I went to the door leading to the balcony. Unlocking it, I opened the door and grabbed an old office chair to bring out with me.
The balony wasn't really finished. It was really like a big ledge off the side of our house. My mom always went on about how she wanted to put a railing around it and put nice furniture out here, but we never got around to it.
It didn't bother me, I just used whatever I found to sit on or lay on.
So I took the beat chair and an old blanket and went out onto the ledge.
As I slept a light dusting of snow blanketed the world.
Snow meant I got to keep my wolf longer.
Once it started to melt I knew there was only limited time left with my wolf.
The late spring and summer meant only being able to feel his presence, but never to see him until the freeze of winter.
I never undrstood this. But it was part of my life. My routine, his routine. He left for the summer, and came back for the winter; but I knew he was never that far away.
I sat down in my chair and gazed out into the forest. The night was dark, and moonless with clouds covering any sign of light from above.
I looked down to the edge of the wood and could only make out his eyes and a faint outline of his body.
They glowed vibrantly in the dark cold night, reminding me he was always there...
His eyes pulled me in, encasing me in their icy depths.
I could hear him audibly sigh. It sounded like a big rush of air leaving his lungs.
He closed his eyes when he did this.
I breathed in big gulp of the brisk winter air.
His eyes and presence did unexplainable things to me.
Now I closed mine and kept them closed. I couldn't bear to watch him any longer.
We always watched eachother every night. The whole night. Until dawn. Or until I drifted to sleep uncontrollably.
But tonight, I couldn't keep my eyes on him.
Tonight they confused me and made me question my entire being. Tonight they made me weary and uncofortable.
▪▪▪
I woke to the sound of his mournful howl, right before dawn broke through the night sky.
I got up from my chair and looked at him one more time before I walked into my house.
His eyes held mine for a moment, making me go crazy with something dark and unspeakable, but something that has always been there, and always would.
▪▪▪
I woke her up with my howl in the early morning. I held her gaze for a while before I turned to go back into the thick woods.
I spent my day as far from my pack as I could manage.
I was still completly pìssed at them.
How dare they defy me like that yesterday.
I should banish all of them for that.
If we didn't need the extra pack members and fighters as bad as we did I would have, or maybe I would have killed them.
They were young and dumb, but we needed them, to train them to fight, protect and obey. So I couldn't get rid of them...
Yet.
I roamed the woods, trying to find somehing to eat. I walked quietly to the small stream running through the forest knowing I'd find something there.
To my luck there was no other pack memebers wandering around nearby. I must have scared them off yesterday.
I found a little plump rabbit nibbling on some frozen branches low to the ground.
The perfect prey. And the perfect meal on this cold morning.
After catching the scrumptious rabbit, I padded over to the stream to wash off and have a drink.
As a wolf the cold never bothers me. It's part of me and my genetic makeup.
As a human though, the freezing water would probaby just turn me right back into a wolf.
Once finished, I went back to the edges of the woods to get to the edge of her property.
I could hear yelling coming from the inside of the house. Although it seemed loud to my superhuman hearing, my mate was probably only forecfully speaking a little above a hushed whisper.
But she seemed really mad.
I listened closer.
"Are you guys stupid? How could you possibly think I would ever go for that piece of trash!?" She yelled. "UGH. You two both know how much I hate him. And how mean he's been to me; MY ENTIRE LIFE!" She screamed.
From what I could only hear from her end, I assumed she was talking to her friends. Yelling to them about the fiasco at that club last night.
"I seriously don't believe you thought I'd want a night out to fùck the biggest pervy player in town... What? Yes, of course I like guys! You know that! ....Well, because I'm not interested in any of these idiots that reside here. None of them peak my interest or tickly my fancy." She said sarcastically.
Good.
This made me happy.
I sang a little song in my head *clap along if you feel like a room without a roof*
"Ugh. I'm still so mad. I hate him, he's so gross and absolutely degrading to all women. I mean serisouly? I'd first swing the other way before actually going for that peice of scum. Ew. He said that? He actually said he like me? I don't believe you Mia. Nah, no thanks..." She scoffed. "...Yeah I know you're both just looking out for me, and want me to be happy but still... If I want a guy, I'm very capable of geting him for myself."
She started laughing at what was being said on the other end.
"Okay. Yeah I'll see you guys later. But stop playing the part of Cupid. I'm good. Yeah, I love you guys too. Bye."
She was quiet now. I wondered what she was thinking about now.
Damñ these dàmned winters.
If I could only just knock on her door and tell her she's mine and hold her and never let go.
Then it'd all be okay.
But I was stuck as a wolf until it got warm, and maybe I could finally tell her how I felt.
I decided this was the year to tell her. she was finally 18, and it seemed like the right time.
Plus I couldn't wait ANY longer!!
I was pacing pack and forth and must have been making a considerable amount of noise due to my grumbling and growling while contemplating our future, because her window opened and she popped her head out.
She laughed lightly. "What are you doing Wolf? You're not acting too happy."
Since I couldn't answer her with words my head dropped and I turned to walk back into the woods. Away from embarrassment.
Away from her. Her scent. Her beauty. Her luring eyes.
I needed space.
I heard her sigh sadly as I walked away.
"Wait. Wolf. Please! Don't leave. Come back!!"
It killed me, but I kept waking.
▪▪▪