"It's okay to let things go, Roman." I said to the man standing before me, looking as if he was out of place in the head.
His usual impassive demeanour changed into a messed up, confused one.
He stayed silent.
Tentatively reaching up, I patted the highest point of him that I could.
His upper arm, but moved my hand quickly smiling at the distraught soul.
"I have no idea what am I supposed to do." I says shaking his head slightly.
"It's okay." I say. "If you need time, take time. But not too long."
He somewhat gave me a nodding gesture.
"It's not only you who's hurting and confused." I said gently.
"Blaire is hurting too." I whisper.
"She's just as confused as you are and no matter what anybody does will make it better except you."
"I know." He sighs. "I just feel so torn between emotions that are old and emotions that I thought shouldn't feel-"
"We don't get to choose what we feel, Roman." I said.
"Some times we just do, and that's human nature. You can not expect not to fall in love after-"
I shake my head.
"She would never want you to punish yourself like your are, hiding yourself from every positive emotion."
"I don't hide myself from positive emotion." He argued
"You did, you pushed Blaire away. Isn't a kiss a positive emotion?" I asked.
I feel like a very inexperienced therapist that seemed not to help him in anyway.
"I suppose." He says shaking my head. "I just need time, can you make sure she doesn't kill people?"
I nod.
"Thanks, Ariel." He says with a barely there smile placing a barely there kiss on my cheek.
"I'll got to the inn and just clear my head-"
"Stay for dinner." I say moving away to a respectable distance from the larger man.
"I'm just putting up a plate for Angelo, I'll make you one too." I add.
He reluctantly takes a seat on the dining table chair as I tell him to help himself with the whiskey.
He does.
Minutes later, Angelo joins me in the kitchen placing a desperate and needy kiss in my mouth, his fingers around my throat, as he looks me in the eye.
"You took off the dress." He whisperers.
"It was tight." I mumbled.
"It made you look like Bubbles." He whispers. "I need Bubbles."
I pushed him away playfully.
"You get Ariel." I say placing the grilled chicken breast on the plates.
"Take it or leave it." I add biting my lip trying to hide the giddiness that erupts with in myself.
"I'd take anything." He whispers he chin resting on my shoulder, arms around my waist.
"Angelo." I complain. "Shouldn't you be attending to Roman? He's staying for dinner."
'I'd rather leave him alone." He says. "He needs time to wind his head in the right direction."
I agree with him with a nod of my head, putting enough salad in both the plates along with bread.
"You took off your ring." Angelo sag looking at my left hand and taking it in his hold.
"I was afraid I'd loose it." I say as he examines my finger. "I have a habit to loose expensive things."
Or sometimes they get taken away from me.
I shake the thought off my head as I focus on the task at hand.
"I don't want you to take it off, ever again." Angelo says, his nose dragging up to the length of my neck, head rolling back to give him access on instinct.
"You wear it with pride, sí?" He whispers against my ear, teeth tugging down on the soft flesh of my earlobe.
"Yes." I whisper breathless.
"You wear my name with honour, like you're mine, yes?"
What is it with words and him today? I think as tiny little bombs erupts all over my body with his touches.
"Yes." I breathe out an answer as he pulls away making me gasp at the loss of contact between our bodies.
Angelo leaves toward the dining table after placing a gentle kiss on my temple.
Five minutes later, I take two dinner plates to the dining table and ask if they would need anything else.
"These are quite enough, thank you Ariel." Roman says.
"You're welcome." I nod. "I'll go upstairs to check on Blaire."
Opening the door to her bedroom, I found the woman curled up on the middle of the bed, the weighted coverlet covering her form.
"Blaire?" I asked gently. If she was a sleep I'd let her.
If she was trying to drown on darkness, I take her down and make her eat something and possibly gossip.
That might lighten her mood and lift some of her spirit so she can get a good night sleep.
"You want something bub?" I pressed again to see if she was awake.
There was no sound apart from the shuffling of the blanket.
I sigh.
"Do you want chocolate cake? We have some-" I add hoping if she will get up.
She doesn't.
I close the door as silently possible not to disturb her and make my way downstairs.
After bringing Blaire home from the club, I suggested she slept it off.
Sleep did wonders when you were angry or mad or really in pain.
I would know.
Soon after she retrieved to a guestroom, I gathered some clothes and a warm robe for her, made her hot chocolate so she could sleep good and warm till the morning and left a note that if she wanted to come down to grab a bite.
Roman came and explained what happened to me and Angelo and elaborated the confusion at his part and thus our discussion before.
Entering the kitchen, I busied myself making a small but enough chocolate cake.
If Blaire wakes up in the middle of the night looking for cake, that is.
Roman takes his leave after dinner. Angelo walks the man out.
When Angelo walks back into the kitchen, the cake is done and I am lathering it up in thick melted chocolate.
"Do I get a piece or is it all for the mental case?" He asks wrapping his arms around my waist, toying with the string of my dress robe.
"She's not a mental case, Angelo." I protest. "She's just sad and angry."
"I'm only joking." He says placing a kiss on my shoulder after pulling my sleeve down, exposing my flesh to his mouth.
After I am done with the cake, I cut a generous piece for Angelo and give it him.
Surely Blaire wouldn't mind just a little missing from her cake.
I cover the desert with a lid and place the plate in the fridge so the chocolate hardens well enough.
"Are you coming to bed?" Angelo asks resting his barely eaten chocolate cake on the counter watching me as I busy myself in cleaning up the dishes.
"Just let me finish here and I'll come to bed." I say with a smile.
"I'm hiring a cleaning lady." He says picking up his plate.
"No." I object.
"Why not?" He asks. "You're doing all the works yourself, cooking, cleaning, laundry and every other shit and you're unwell."
"It's just iron deficiency." I say with an eye roll. "Not cancer."
"I want you to rest enough." He says, his voice gentle.
"Sí? At least naps after lunch and meals in between, please." He adds.
"I am alright." I say again.
He sighs.
"I'll agree to nap." I says pushing myself closer to him. "Okay? And one snack on between."
There is only so much a girl can eat.
Sighing he shakes his head, pushing the hair back from my face.
"Let's go to bed, I'll tuck you in and I'll do the dishes." He gently offers.
"Capo Bestone, doing dishes." I tease. "Won't that hurt your lion pride?"
"Nothing to hurt my pride, if I'm doing it for you, baby."
It makes me flush as rest my head against his chest.
"You smell nice." I whisper.
"Thank you."
"Let's go to bed."
This night going to bed was different.
We didn't have sex. We just snuggled together in the middle of our huge bed.
Angelo whispered sweet nothings in my ear while his fingers softly toyed with me.
Taking his time, he played with my hair, caressed my thighs my stomach, my cheeks and slowly I felt myself dozing off in his arms.
Safe.
Without a care in the world.
Or so I thought, I had fallen asleep.
If somebody told me some months prior, I'd be snuggling Angelo Giovanni in our bed.
In our house, sharing the most intimate touches with him.
I would have laughed then cried and then broke down because I knew it would have never been possible.
But tonight was like a dream.
I laid awake long after Angelo had fallen a sleep, our fingers laced together, the back of my head resting against his chest while I listened to his gentle heart beats.
I couldn't sleep.
I don't know, we rarely spend nights like this.
Sleeping so peacefully.
Usually we're fighting or fucking or both at the same time.
Looking at the clock on the bedside table, I untangled myself from Angelo.
I had forgotten to fill the water bottles. Again.
Shaking my head at my scatterbrained action, I slipped my feet into the fur slippers that Alyssa had given me as a gift.
Padding down the stairs I walk toward the kitchen for a glass of water.
Maybe juice and something to eat, possibly.
The medications are weird.
They make me hungry one second and ache-y the other.
I see Blaire leaning against the kitchen counter, a bottle of water in her hand as she takes long gulps to quench her thirst.
With a small smile lingering on my lips, that she might have finally calmed down enough to talk, I advance toward her.
"Hey." I call her softly.
I think my voice startles her because she turns to look at me.
Her eyes are swollen and cheeks full.
She cried, no doubt.
I offer her a smile and decide it's better not to bring anything up.
Not now at least.
"You want something to eat?" I ask moving toward the fridge to get a glass of cranberry juice.
I use a wine glass and add some juice and add some water from the bottle Blaire was drinking
"Do you want cake?" I ask putting the bottle back on the fridge.
The cake, drenched in thick German chocolate stares back at me with longing.
I take the plate out, closing the fridge behind my back place the goodness on top of the counter top looking for a small plate.
"I don't want cake." Blaire says taking another swig of water from the bottle.
"Okay." I say cutting a piece of cake and putting the desert in a desert plate grabbing a golden fork and putting the rest in the fridge.
Is she okay though?
She sounds- daunting.
As if I had wronged her in a thousand different ways.
What did I do?
"Did you enjoy your dinner?" She asked with a voice that made me want to ask if I had done something to offend her.
"Hmm?" I relished the taste of cake, pretending her voice toward me was normal.
"There was nothing to enjoy, Roman came over, stayed for dinner, Angelo and Roman ate and he left and then we-" I add with a casual shrug.
I mean, she ought to know Roman came over.
That he cares, even though a little.
I understand that he's wronged her and she feels repudiated.
It's completely understandable.
"I'm sure you enjoyed yourself." She whispered.
"What?" I laugh. "I barely ate."
I barely had the time to sit down eat my feet feeling wobbly all night.
How did I enjoy myself?
"I saw him kissing your cheek." She whispers.
But her tone is pained and full of wrath. Toward me.
Oh?
"Why'd he do that to you but push me away?" She asks in a rugged whisper.
"Am I so hideous?" She asks.
Blaire, why would you think that?
"Blaire-" I breathe. "Bub I-"
I didn't ever feel that she'd-
Oh my God.
"Don't!" She yelled. "I see pity in your eyes!"
I grow quiet.
Better out than in.
I close my eyes as Blaire utters sentence after sentence that she probably doesn't mean.
Or does she?
"I don't want your fucking pity!" She yells.
The water filled whiskey bottle crashes on the floor.
I jump from the sudden sound that thunders through the eerily silent house.
God, I hope Angel doesn't wake up for fuck's sake.
He'll loose it.
And Blaire has enough on her head already.
God please. I say a prayer, eyes closed, trying to keep my unshed tears at bay.
"It mortifies me how he'd run to you for consolation but I don't deserve an elucidation for the rejection I felt." She hisses.
He didn't come to me for consolation.
He came to look for you.
And then he placed is confusion and reasons like a naked wound.
How can she even think that?
I stay silent.
Because somehow it's my fault.
Isn't it?
If it wasn't why'd she say so?
"It's your fucking fault!" Blaire yells.
I know.
I'm sorry.
"So fuck you and fuck everybody!"
With that she retrieves from the kitchen, that was now a mess of water, my small fur rug soaked and soiled with crystal pieces littering the marble swirled floor.
I hear the door to her bedroom slam shut.
The harsh sound makes me jump.
I stare at the cake in front of me.
Tears streaming down my eyes as I take the plate and shove it's contents in the waste bin and put it on the sink pouring my juice down the sink.
"Tadpole?" I hear the voice gently piercing the painful silence.
I grab the edge of the sink, trying to appear as normal and okay as possible.
Nothing happened here.
Nothing.
Go back to bed, Angel.
"Just slipped." I chuckled shaking my head, my lip between my teeth.
"I'm fine." I whispered again.
"Don't lie." His voice was sharp and clear. "I saw it."
"Angel-"
"Come over here, leave those."
I shake my head. "Just a second, I'll be fine."
Angelo doesn't protest or deny anything.
I wash the plate and the glass and proceed to pick out the shred of glass from the floor, wiping the tears leaking out from my eyes like crazy.
"Ariel, leave those!" Angelo yells walking over in his slippers, grabbing my hands to make me stand.
"Drop it." He orders.
"I have to clean them off-"
"You don't." He says. "Drop those on the bin."
I obey him and carefully ignoring the glass shreds I walk behind the large man toward the stairs.
He urges me to sit on the edge of the bed, carefully examining my hands, the small cut from the glass stings against my skin.
"I'll get you some cleaning solution." Angelo sighs patting my knee ams getting up, disappearing into the bathroom.
He gently dabs the alcohol solution on my palm and presses cotton ball, making me wince from the burn before tucking me under covers.
He comes back to bed almost half an hour later and settles behind me, holding me close to his warm body.
"Sleep." Angelo whispers.
"Yes." I mumble looking out at the darkness through out uncovered windows.
I didn't draw the blinds again. I think.
"Don't think about it, baby." He urges gently massaging my hair. "Go to sleep, I'm right here."
I hold his free hand on both of mine, placing it close to my heart as I close my eyes.
Trying to welcome some sleep.
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
All my senses are awake.
I can almost hear the leaves rustling through my minds ears, from the gentle wind.
I leave Angelo's embrace before five in the morning.
Down in the living room, I open the windows and push the blinds away, letting the early morning air rush inside the house.
I shiver from the slight change of temperature.
I take almost two hours to clean the whole ground floor, scrubbing the floors, counter tops, tables till my body feels almost numb from the water and the cleaning liquid.
After discarding those in the ground floor bathroom, I freshen up, re-tie my hair in a knot on top of my head and walk back into the kitchen to get started in breakfast.
My fur rug from the floor that was soiled the night before was gone leaving my kitchen floor to look almost naked.
It makes me sigh as I pull out contents of breakfast from the fridge and get to make breakfast.
I boil eggs for Angelo, put the bread to get toasted and sweet sausages to sizzle and chop some fruits for salad and start the coffee machine.
Breakfast is almost done when Angelo greets me by wrapping his arms from behind, placing a kiss on my temple.
I turn to face him with a smile lingering on my lips.
He was dressed for the day, in a two piece steel grey suit and a black shirt.
"You're ready." I acknowledge.
"I am." He says leaning to place a kiss on my mouth. "I have to be at the office early today."
"Oh?" I frown. "Are you going to be back before dinner?"
"I'll try, baby." He says tucking a lock of hair behind my ear and awards me with yet another kiss.
We eat breakfast outside in the back lawn.
Angelo waits for me to finish my share of food, watching me cuddle Coco on my lap as I eat.
He helps me with the tablets and kisses me goodbye before leaving.
I spend the rest of the morning outside with Coco.
Bertie drops by. I ask him if he wants breakfast.
He declines ruffling my hair says he needs to work.
He stays at the guest house.
Coco alternates between living with me and Bertie.
When the temperature starts to raise, indicating the end of morning and beginning of dawn, I busy myself into cutting some flowers from the flower patches to decorate the living room.
I pick enough to put them in a number of jars and carry them to the living room.
Coco stays outside, lazily chasing butterflies.
Sitting before the coffee table I sort out the flower arrangement to put them in watered jars and cut them in perfect lengths.
It's then when I hear Blaire's presence beside me.
Her eyes gauging me cautiously.
"Hey." I plaster a fake smile as greeting
"Buongiorno." I wish. "How'd you sleep?"
"Good." She replies taking a seat on the couch behind me.
"How did you sleep?" She asks.
I didn't.
"Good." I lie "My medication makes it harder so I've been up since six."
"Give me a minute to put these away, I'll warm your breakfast." I gently say wanting to avoid conversation that would lead us back to last night.
I'd rather she didn't bring it up, now.
Or ever.
I put the biggest jar on the centre of the table and carry the other three to place one in the centre of the dining table.
One on the kitchen counter and one just in the kitchen so it looks pretty and not naked.
I warm the breakfast I had set out separately for Blaire and wait for the oven to ping done.
It does sooner than I anticipated so I carry a plate of warm, steaming breakfast to Blaire.
She offers me a small thanks that I acknowledge with a nod and a smile before disappearing into the kitchen.
I spend my raging anxiety into making a loaf of sandwich bread from scratch.
I mess up the first time and then start again, almost on the verge of yet another breakdown.
Putting the loaf into the oven, I wait for it to bake and start on the other ingredients to make a sandwich for lunch.
Occasionally going through the gossip news on my phone or scrolling through Instagram, looking at shoes and bags and dresses.
Anything to pass time.
Because I for one know Blaire doesn't want my presence so better I don't-
Yeah.
I take out the roasted chicken from the oven that has been there for a while and proceed to cut of out for sandwich when Blaire enters the kitchen.
"Hey." She greets.
"Hey." I chirp back trying to appear as normal as possible.
She makes small talk.
I keep up.
I hand her a plate of her lunch and ask if she needs wine or anything.
She declines before retrieving to the living room.
I carry my lunch outside, sit on the grass.
Coco curls up against my thigh, snuggling.
"You miss mama, huh?" I smile patting his head.
"I love you." I say even though I know my mutt doesn't understand.
Lorenzo calls telling dinner and after party is cancelled because Alyssa doesn't feel well.
Blaire sits by me, talking.
I keep up.
I don't want to hurt her anymore.
I don't want to hurt anybody anymore.
Angelo calls asking if I've eaten or napped or retested at least.
I lie.
"Eat your food, Bubbles." Blaire reaches for the plate and puts it on my folded. "You're sick."
"I'm fine." I mumble taking a bite of my sandwich.
That's all I eat.
I don't feel like eating.
Blaire tells me to go take a nap and that she'll clean after.
I offer her a thank you as I retrieve to my room.
I'm not exactly sleepy.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I rummage through the bedside table on Angelo's side to look for his vial of sleeping pills.
I take two Ambien before curling on the bed with Coco.
That'll give me some sleep.
Yes.
And I'll wake up feeling better.
____________________________________
Fun fact: One Ambien (the sleeping pill Ariel took) will give you a break free seven/eight hours sleep. Any more then prescribed in considered to be overdose and dangerous.
Anyways.
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Let me know if you liked the chapter and if it cleared the air between two books.
What do you think Ariel and Blaire's friendship will become now?
And what will Roman do~
Or Angelo?
-November