The next morning, Angelo treated me way to carefully.
Too much carefully.
I woke up late, feeling the weight of last nights tension and emotion on my head.
The man bought me cold juice along with breakfast in bed, while keeping his one arm around my shoulder and the other holding my left hand as I ate my food calmly.
I didn't want to leave the bed even though I had plans for a morning work out.
Maybe do some yoga.
Practice ballet for a while.
But my plans were short lived when I felt the slight sway of my body as soon as I got down from the bed to go the bathroom.
It didn't go unnoticed by Angelo and he helped me into the bathroom, left me to finish my business and walked me back to the circular bed and made breakfast while I watched Ice Age 3 on the cable TV.
So I ate the veggies and bread smeared with sweetened butter and jam, two boiled eggs and cold apple juice before pushing the tray away from me.
I rested my wobbly head against Angelo's chest as he kept his hold on me while I watched the animation movie, laughing, giggling like a twelve year old.
Angelo remained stationery, our legs intertwined while I watched the scenes unfold before me even though I watched the animation more than ten times.
Last nights incidents almost out of my mind.
Almost.
I had discarded that shirt in the dustbin and pretended it didn't exist.
"Tadpole?" He called during a advert break making me look up to him.
My cheeks hurt from laughing too much and I was having trouble breathing properly inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth.
"Hmm?"
"I think we should see a doctor."
His sentence makes me sigh.
And we're back at it. Again.
I don't want to see a doctor.
I don't like seeing doctors and -
I'm not pregnant.
I know what my symptoms are and feeling light headed isn't a symptom in my case.
My pregnancy symptoms were intense throwing up.
Throwing up till my guys and throat hurt.
If I was pregnant, I wouldn't be able to keep a morsel of food inside my stomach.
I know that's what he thinks.
He thinks I might be pregnant and all that.
But I am not.
"I don't want to go see a doctor." I say. "I am fine."
"I am trying believe your I'm fines but it's failing me, baby." He says as the break timer gets to zero zero and I focus my attention back in the television.
"I'm booking an appointment." He says with finality.
"I'm not going." I say settling back on his chest again, the coverlet pulled up to my chest.
"You're going, damn alright." He says getting his phone.
"Why is it so hard for you to believe that I am fine, Angelo?" I ask looking at him while he scrolls through his phone and puts it against his ear.
"I'll be needing an appointment for a medicine specialist before lunch." He says to whoever is on the other side.
"Sí." He answers. "Patient's name is Ariel LaRusso, twenty one, female."
Wow.
Way to talk to a doctor's assistant.
"This isn't how it works." I tell him once he's put the phone away.
"You ignoring your health, isn't how it works either, tadpole."
Realising that I lost, I focus my attention to the TV.
I missed Peach's birth scene.
It makes me want to smack Angelo.
Just before lunch when I was almost asleep, Angelo gently woke me up telling me I've to get up and get ready for the doctor's visit.
Sighing, I get up.
I don't want to go to the doctor.
Period.
If he was so keen on finding out that if I am pregnant or not, he could've just bought some home test kits and get over with.
If I was pregnant, I'd be gaining weight not loosing them.
Even if my nausea was serious as fuck, I'd still be gaining a lot of weight.
Like before.
But I was glad that I lost some weight that I put on the year behind.
My curves felt defined.
I got dressed in a summer dress with ties on the shoulder, the material falling above my knee by a good some inches.
Angelo, dressed himself in a black shirt and black slacks before we left the house and drive to the hospital nearby.
I stayed silent because I really don't want to go and see a doctor.
He stayed silent for whatever the reason he wants to stay silent.
I am not aware of whatever scenario is playing though his head, but his impassive expression doesn't give me a clue either.
I really hope the test doesn't turn out positive.
I pray it doesn't turn out positive.
The last thing I need is another accusation of killing my child.
Another heartbreak.
The doctor sees me immediately.
A handsome man, dressed in baby blue shirt and grey pinstripe pants as he tells me to take a seat before him on the small examination room.
"What can I do for you, Miss LaRusso?" He asks me in his gentle American accent.
I'm not sure what you can help me with either, doctor. I think mentally before sighing.
Angelo decided to sit patiently beside me, eyeing the doctor, impassively.
I want to tell him that it's his job and he's being professional, but Angelo's glare doesn't fade from his face.
"I- uh, I've been feeling light headed for some days." I say.
"That's about all."
The handsome man behind the desk chuckled.
"Miss LaRusso, lightheadedness maybe cause by a lot of thing, maybe if you would explain to me?"
I shrug.
What am I supposed to explain?
Like that's all I've been feeling.
A little dizzy.
"I suppose I've been feeling tired and light headed- but that's about it-"
"These are very common symptoms of almost every issue, we'll go through a simple blood count test, if you don't mind."
I shake my head.
"And uh-" I frown with a sigh. "I'd like a pregnancy test as well."
"Of course." The man smiled at me and asked some questions to which I answered in a negative.
Scribbling down the name of the text he pulled out a packaged butterfly needle and tube and two vials to take sample of my blood.
We were told to wait in the waiting room while the samples were getting tested.
Angelo sat silent beside me, in the empty room.
"What if the tests come in positive?" I whisper tentatively looking at my feet.
Paranoid and scared to a point where I feel like I will stop breathing if he stays silent for another while.
"Then it does." Angelo replies looking up at me.
His face was shadowed with worry as well.
I could tell he wasn't ready to hear that the tests came out positive.
Neither am I.
It would push us apart again.
I am pretty sure it will push us apart, to a point of no return.
"I don't want it to." I whisper.
Angelo wraps an arm around mg shoulder and rubs my arm gently.
"It's okay." He reassures.
I know he doesn't want it to come out positive either.
Almost half an hour later of waiting, and being paranoid, having a mental breakdown internally, a nurse dressed in white informs us that the doctor is ready for us again.
"Well Miss LaRusso." The man took his seat behind the desk on a brown leather chair.
"Firstly, I'm sorry Miss LaRusso, you're not, in fact pregnant." He says gently.
I nod mustering a small smile for him.
Internally, I feel somewhat relived ad well as I feel sad.
I don't know why I feel sad because I shouldn't.
It's good that I am not pregnant.
A baby wouldn't help us right now.
Or maybe of would? A part of me thinks.
I immediately shake the thought out of my head.
No.
Angelo reaches for my hand under the table giving it a squeeze as he wraps his other around my shoulder feeling shift in my composure.
"And- the other test says you have iron deficiency anemia."
I looked at the doctor whose tone was sympathetic and soft.
"This your feeling of light headedness and fatigue. You may have had other symptoms but might have ignored them or they were subtle enough to get ignored."
I nod.
"I'll prescribe you some iron supplements." He says getting a transparent file and putting my reports and receipt for the reports and a prescription that he scribbled.
"Thank you." I offer the man a smile.
"You're very much welcome, however I'd personally suggest you get a step up on your diet, lots of rest and sleep, if you will."
I nod.
"After two months of your supplementary course we'll set up another appointment, yes?"
"Sure." I smiled getting up understanding my queue as Angelo helps me.
"Thank you, doctor." I offer while the man gestures the pair of us with a nod.
Angelo helps me into the car, hands Alberto the prescription to get the medicine before slipping into the driving seat before starting the engine.
"Are you alright?" Angelo asks.
"Hmm." I say resting my elbow against the window, my head on my palm, staring at the report.
Blood pregnancy result: Negative.
Negative.
Negative.
"Baby-" He sighs taking the transparent file from my hand.
I let him take it, looking out through the window.
I don't understand.
What is wrong with me? I think.
"Do you want you want to get some lunch from the inn?" He asks gently.
"I don't want to eat." I say.
"Not going to work, tadpole." He says.
"Food isn't negotiable anymore." He adds
"Whatever." I say leaning my head against the headrest of the seat and sigh.
Tears prickling my eyes as I close them tightly not wanting them to escape.
Why does it matter so much? I think.
We lost our first one.
Another one would break us apart.
It would break me apart.
Even if everything turned out okay, it'll still push us away.
Angelo wasn't ready for a baby.
I'm not sure even if he wanted a baby.
I do however.
I want one.
A little thing running around the house causing havoc.
Yelling, playing, crying and everything in between.
The tears leak my eyes, dropping on my cheek as I quickly swipe or away from my cheek.
Sniffing, I sit up straight wiping any trace of tears from my face.
The only thing that's wrong with me is I imagine too much.
I dream too much.
I expect too much.
High imagination and expectations have always put me down.
It was known fact in my life.
Angelo sighs while he drives, taking the other route from the house.
The car smoothly halts in front of the inn, Bertie's car close behind us.
Angelo helps me out.
The abrupt halt of motion makes my head spin slightly as I lean against his arm catching my breath.
"Alright?" He asks.
I nod slightly as he helps me inside to a table.
Much to my surprise Alyssa and Lorenzo was sitting to the assigned table.
Both talking in a hushed tone, the man holding Alyssa's hand so lovingly.
"Mama." Angelo greets.
"Hi, bub." The women smiles at Angelo while much to my reluctance he helps me to a chair.
"Good afternoon, Sir." I offer Lorenzo a smile. "Good afternoon, Alyssa."
The man acknowledges me with a gentle nod.
"Good afternoon, love." Alyssa places a hand on my shoulder turning my face to hers as I sat beside her.
"You look pale." She states. "What's up?"
I shake my head.
"Slightly unwell." I say.
"Was it the truck food?" She asks tentatively. "I've been feeling queasy, too."
"We went to a doctor." Angelo volunteers. "She has iron deficiency anemia."
Alyssa frowns.
I sigh.
"No biggie." Alyssa waves Angelo's serious tone off.
"We'll eat and take meds and get better, huh?" She asks me.
I nod.
"Good." He pats my shoulder.
"We're going to eat. A lot." She adds
I feel better with Alyssa's positive energy as Lorenzo orders for us.
A separate serving of beef roast with mushrooms for me which he says is going to help me.
"Do you feel tired?" Alyssa asks concerned as she pours water on my glass for me.
"Not much, really." I reply taking a sip of water from the goblet.
"Just light headed, that's all. Sometimes mild headaches but they pass." I add.
"That's good." The older women nods. "What did the doctor say?"
I shrug. "Told me to get my diet a step on, lots of food and rest and sleep."
She nods understanding as minutes later our food arrives.
They've all ordered tortellini pasta with a bread salad on the side.
Mine had an addition of beef roast dish.
How am I supposed to stomach all this?
I start with the beef.
The beef roast is delicious and the side Greek salad is even more delicious.
Finally I call quits pushing the plate of untouched pasta away and taking a sip of my water.
The waitress collects pur plate only to return shortly with square shaped tiramisu cake, serving size, as desert.
Not sure if I can eat another bite.
Alyssa glances on her phone, a string of texts and sighs turning to me.
"How do you feel about clubbing, sweetheart?" She asks.
"Hmm?"
"Do you feel well enough to go to a club?" She asks.
"I am not exactly too sick." I say with a shrug. "I can go dancing."
Aware of Angelo staring at me
"Blaire's been on my toe all day." She complains. "She says she can't reach you."
"I left my phone at the house." I say.
"Alright." She says.
"I'm telling the mad woman that you're alive and no shark's ate you, where does she come up with these?" She adds.
Her comment makes me smile.
I catch Angelo's eye from across the table, seated parallel to me.
He looks at me, tentatively trying to gauge me.
After our dual lunch, Alyssa says she'll pick me up at seven thirty.
We'll have early dinner and then go clubbing because according to Blaire, Alyssa quoted and I quote back,
"I don't care. We're going party, Roman can kiss my ass."
I'm not sure she minds the man kissing her ass but whatever rotates her wheels alright?
I have to take three tablets twice a day.
One iron shot, one folic acid and one multi vitamin.
As I sit before Angelo, he sorts out the meds for me and gives me one red and two white tablets handing me a glass of ice cold water.
I swallow them, the iron pill leaves a foul taste in my mouth.
Pulling a sour face almost on the verge of throwing up, I hand Angelo back the glass of water.
He puts the container of the medicine on the bedside table drawer, and puts away the extra unopened container before joining me on the bed.
I lay my head, against his chest feeling his heart beat under my cheek, both of us silent.
"Don't you feel alright, baby?" He asks gently massaging my head.
"I'm fine." I whisper out.
Not really.
"Maybe see if you can sleep?" He asks. "It might help you feel better. Relaxed?"
I nod absent mindedly.
I know he's only trying to make me feel better.
Help me.
And I won't lie, it feels nice having someone to take care of you.
Someone willing to take care of you.
But-
But, I don't know.
I shouldn't feel this way.
I am least worried about the red blood cell deficiency in my body.
I've always had low haemoglobin count.
But as the doctor said, food and medicine would cure it.
It's not a big deal.
And it's not even in the list of things that I am worried about.
I sigh against Angelo's chest, he has my ringed hand in his gentle hold.
I haven't took it off, since he slid it on, last night.
I look at the delicately arranged diamonds, resting elegantly on my middle finger.
My nails are disgusting to look at. I think.
"What's wrong tadpole?" Angelo asks as I untangle myself from him, getting down from the bed.
I need something to busy my mind with or I'll start crying.
I get my make up bag and dig through numerous container to get the bottle of nail varnish remover and a bottle of pale pink nail paint and pad over to the bed with a towel.
"I'm going to paint my nails." I tell Angelo.
He was now sitting straight looking at me weirdly as I put my supplies on top of the spread towel and used the cotton balls to clean my nails.
Once I was satisfied with the look of nails, I uncapped the bottle and started to paint from the thumb of my right finger.
"Ariel?" Angelo asked pushing the hair over my other shoulder so he has a clear look on my face.
"Hmm?" I said concentrating on my handiwork.
Concentrating too much.
"Baby, talk to me." He begged.
I pretended as if I didn't listen and kept on working on the third finger.
"Ariel, please-" He whispered. "You are freighting me."
I chuckle at the choice of his words.
"I'm the last person anyone would or should be scared of."
"Baby, what's wrong?" He asked again.
"Tadpole."
"I told you not to take me to a doctor." I whispered finally, my hands starting to shake slightly.
I gripped the cap of the nail polish tighter.
"I told you I was fine, didn't I?" I asked, tears pricking my eyes.
"Ariel-"
"You needn't get me through a heart break again." I whisper.
"It hurts me." I add with mumble.
"Sweetheart-"
"I don't want to cry and vent anymore." My lower lip wobbles.
"I'm so tired of crying and venting and blaming for what happens with me, I don't want to anymore."
He makes me release the grip on the nail paint cap and puts it inside the bottle before pulling me to him.
I rest my head against his cheat because at this point I feel like he's all I have.
"I don't want to be alone anymore." I whisper.
"What ever you want, I'll make it happen, baby." He reassures.
"Whatever you want."
"You promise?" I ask cradling his face in my palms looking into his eyes.
"I promise, baby." He says. "I promise."
"Us?" I ask.
He places his lips on mine, softly, gently and so lovingly.
"Yes, sweetheart." He whispers against my lips.
I sniff placing my head back on his chest.
"I don't know why I feel this way, Angel." I mutter.
"I'm alright but not really. Sometimes I'm really happy, sometimes I just want to cry-"
"We were okay, before last night, weren't we?" He asks massaging my hair gently.
I nod.
"And before the doctor's visit?"
I nod.
"Then we'll be back like that, okay?" He asks.
I nod. "Okay."
"Would you try for me, baby?"
"Yes."
"Okay." He sighs.
"Would you try, too, Angel?" I ask looking up at his eyes.
"That's all I'll ever do for you, tadpole."
It makes me smile.
"I really have to paint my nails." I say after moments of silence between us.
The comfortable kind.
Angelo lets me go back to paint my nails.
I do them quickly this time, blow on them to dry them before claiming my place back in his arms, legs thrown over his, head on his chest.
Angelo examines my left hand rubbing his thumb over the diamond band.
"It comes with a necklace too." He says.
I frown.
"It's in your dressing table drawer, in a white box." He says placing a kiss on my head.
My phone rings making me sigh.
Angelo reaches for it and a sigh leaves him as he hands me the device.
"Why hello, little mermaid." Blaire's voice drifts through the speaker.
She has golden eye mask under her eyes.
I crinkle my nose at her analogy.
"I thought Ursula gobbled you the fuck up." She says. "Anyway-"
"We are going party?" I complete her sentence.
"Yes." She looks sad she didn't get to day her line. "Wear white."
"Why?" I ask chuckling.
"Cause you look sexy as a cheesecake in white-"
"Cheesecakes aren't sexy-"
"Cheesecake looks like your butt. Fluffy and jiggly" She says aggressively eating a cracker.
____________________________________
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
HI, so I am back again with another chapter and all that baloney. Smh.
Okay, I'll be honest, I feel as if this book has turned out to something that you'd like to call "this bitch doesn't have anything to do so she writes crap"
It doesn't even make any sense to me at this point. Lol.
But I am still writing cause I am shameless😂
Also this chapter feels rushed. And it sucks too.
But yeah, happy reading and all that baloney ~
Thanks for listening to my rubbish and reading my rubbish.
PS; I've written Blaire's chapter over and over again and felt like shit so- hopefully we'll have time jump (a tiny one) tomorrow night.
-November.