I woke up to Angelo's embrace.
He was holding me from behind, every inch of our skin pressed while my head rested in his forearm.
I've-
I've never woken up like this. I think to myself.
Or to this.
Either I'd find and empty bed or he'd wake up on an empty bed.
His other hand rhythmically massage my scalp and alternates between caressing my cheek and going back to massage my scalp.
I suppose he doesn't know that I am awake and I suppose he was still in that position, so I don't have a troubled slumber.
"Awake, tadpole?" He asks.
His voice coarse from the sleep but gentle nevertheless.
I place my hand over his to soundlessly tell him, I was wake.
I had one of those episode again last night. I think.
It drains me from the inside.
Just like the one I had the days after my birthday.
It drains me from the inside and then I wake up feeling heavy, disoriented, clueless and in need of severe reassurance.
I don't know what to do.
I could leave. I think.
It would cause more damage then good.
"Do you want breakfast?" Angelo asked, our fingers still intertwined, the olive green coverlet pulled up to our waist.
I meekly shake my head, reflecting the zero want of food on my part.
"You're loosing weight, Ariel." He stated, pulling our fingers away and making me turn to face him.
"You're not taking care of yourself." He declares pushing my messy hair away from my face.
I stare at his onyx orbs, while he caresses my cheek with his knuckles.
I want to take care of myself. I think mentally.
I want to.
I really want to.
"Stay here." He urges softly. "Let me get you breakfast."
I don't answer.
My silence bothers him.
Angelo sighs, untangling himself from my body as he gets out of the bed, maroon silk pajama bottom hanging from his hips, hair tousled, as he makes his way out of the bedroom.
From the bedside table I reach for my phone and unlock the screen.
Missed calls.
Roman.
Spa day. I think mentally as I dial the number and wait for it to get picked.
"Bubbles." Blair voice drifts from the other end of the cell. "Hey."
"Hi." I said mustering the most cheerful voice I could muster.
"Good morning." I wish.
"Good morning." She sighs. "Um- babe?"
"Yeah?" I ask.
"Can we postpone spa day?" She asks tentatively.
"Oh?" I asks. "Sure, babe. You okay?"
Blaire sighs from the other end.
"Yeah. Perfect." She says.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong? Your voice sounds all wobbly." I state.
"Not over the phone." She sighs. "Tomorrow when we meet?"
"What's bothering you?"
"I found something." She whispers. "Roman thinks I've gone mad."
"Okay?" I ask. "What did you find?"
"I'll tell you when I see you." She says. "Roman is here, bye. See you."
"See you-" the call ended making me frown.
What did she find? I think to myself sitting up, back resting against the headboard, the covers pulled up to my chest, as I scroll through my phone.
There was several missed call from another number that wasn't saved.
A private number.
Everybody relevant is saved on the contacts so I don't bother calling back.
As soon as I put the phone down, Angelo walks in with a tray of steaming hot breakfast balanced on both his hands before he sits the tray in front of me, taking his coffee.
I don't get coffee.
I get juice.
Soup and bread rolls with stuffed buns and a sweet sauce dip.
Sick people's food.
But I like soup. So o don't complain.
Sipping his coffee Angelo places the cup down taking the bowl, and stirring the soup before proceeding to spoon feed me.
"Better?" He asks when I swallow the first spoon.
"Hmm." I agree as he helps me with the bread bite after dipping it into the soup and continues until there is nothing on the bowl then tells me to eat the stuffed buns.
I shake my head pushing the plate away.
He doesn't press me instead hands me the juice and sits before me with coffee mug in his hand.
"Allora?" He asks pushing my hair back from my face. "You were supposed to go out with your nutcase friend."
"She's not a nutcase." I reply sipping my juice.
Don't call Blaire a nutcase Angelo!
My juice doesn't have sugar.
"It got postponed." I shrug my shoulder.
"Do you have anything else to do all day?" He asks.
I shake my head.
I don't usually have anything to do any day, these days.
"Then I'd like to take you somewhere." He says as a matter of fact.
"Oh?" I ask placing the juice glass on the bedside table.
He nods.
"Why?" I ask.
"What do you mean, why?" He asks with a frown on his face.
"Why'd you want to take me out?" I ask.
"Because I want to, tadpole." He says.
"And also that, what I said last night, wasn't necessary. You were only trying to- support and I am glad that you were worried about my mother and that her anxiety bothered you." He add.
I look down, chewing on my lip.
Pinching my chin he lifts my face up to meet his. "And I am sorry for being an insolent asshole, baby."
I nod, slightly, loss for words.
I didn't expect an apology from him.
He doesn't apologize normally.
His words take me by surprise.
"And I'd like to take you out." He states. "Have you get some fresh air-"
"Angelo?" I ask.
"Sí?"
"I am sorry for approaching you so hostilely, last night." I say. "I am sorry, I had no right to be so rude and abrupt."
He barely cracks a smile.
"I know that you're constantly angry with me, tadpole." He says. "I- I have nothing to say for myself, because you have every right to be."
"I shouldn't have said what I did Angelo." I whisper. "I know I am not allowed to say things like that-"
He places his lips on mine, silencing my apology.
"I shouldn't have pushed you last night, I am sorry." I whisper against his lips, tracing his bottom flesh with my fingertips.
"I am sorry, I won't do it again." I add.
I know, I am not allowed to say things to him that hurts his pride.
And last night, I just did that.
Hurt his pride.
He cups my cheek on both his hands and places a kiss on my lips.
"Let me run you a bath?" He asks. "Warm?"
I nod against his lips.
Giving me one last peck on my lips, Angelo walks toward the bathroom.
I eat one of the stuffed buns with the dip, before walking toward the bathroom.
Angelo just finished putting citrus slats in the warm water as I step inside, holding his hand for support.
After I get in and rest my head on my folded arms on the titled edge, he tells me he will get changed before placing a kiss on my lips and walking out.
Letting myself soak in the water, I feel the tight muscles loosen up a bit.
And finally think back to last night.
It was stupid of me.
If he tries, I should try too.
I don't feel as if I try enough.
But these days Angelo- he tries.
Even a small bit. He does.
But sometimes I don't even understand me.
Sometimes I want him and then the other times I can't stand him.
Sometime I fight him the next moment I want him to take my pain away.
Sometime I act out and then get upset because of being putting back to my place.
Sometimes I feel like I want everything to be right, the next second, I feel as if everything is falling apart.
People will state their opinion on me and then again never bother to know what really goes on inside me.
They don't care, they'll just portray me as the stupid girl who pulls the heart broken card.
All I ever want is love but all I ever get is ignorance, ignorance and more ignorance.
Sometimes a metaphorical smack on my face.
But never the kind of love I want.
I am not like most people, I agree.
I want constant reassurance, I want constant attention.
I am insecure.
I get jealous.
I act petty.
I am not okay.
I am not okay, I am not perfect and anybody having the visual of a perfect story should probably stop with mine.
I am not your perfect character and I am not sorry.
This is the way I am, this is the way life shaped me.
People are prone to change, God knows what life holds for me and what change will life bring in me.
Maybe I'll be better then I am today.
Maybe I won't be.
Maybe I'll be worse then I am today.
Maybe I won't live to see the next sunrise.
Who knows?
Stepping out of the bath, I wrap a towel around my body as I get another to wipe the water away from my body moving toward the closet to get dressed.
I choose a white black polka dotted midi skirt and pair it with a black blouse before brushing my hair and leaving it in waves.
Angelo waits for me, sitting on the edge of the a bed, body clad in a casual white shirt, tucked into the waist band of his slacks.
"You ready?" He asked looking up to see me fumble with the strap of mg shoulder bag.
I nod.
Getting up, he strides over to me, a hand held out for me to grab on to as I place mine on his.
The McLaren was parked in the driveway for us as Angelo helped into the passenger seat before rounding to the driver's seat slipping inside, starting the engine.
"Alberto has your dog." Angelo states as we glide to the highway.
A range rover following close behind us.
"That one?" I point at the car on the side view mirror.
"Sí." He agrees. "It's not too long of a drive."
I nod, understanding.
Five minutes later we glide down from the highway to a dirt road.
A minute of drive later, Angelo halts the vehicle in front of double gate.
"Where are we?" I asked as he got out of the car.
He just grinned in response as he walked toward the gate and pressed his palm on a panel making the parts of the door push open before he rounds the car and slips into the driver's seat once again.
"Angelo?" I prompt as the car enters a well groomed property, cone shaped trees on either side of the driveway lead to a two storied house as we stop in front of the house.
Angelo gets out of the car and helps me out of the passenger seat as the range rover stops behind ours.
"Come on." Angelo urges, his palm pressed to the small of my back.
I thought he was just taking me out to get some fresh air.
We enter the house through the open double gates.
The floors were slabs of grey veins in white marble as the lovely living room with four bay windows side by side came into view, the dining area connecting the living room and the open kitchen.
A staircase stretched through the middle of the ground floor and lead upstairs.
"Do you like it?" Angelo asked, his hands pressed on the sides of my waist.
"It is lovely." I said truthfully.
Because it truly was.
A lovely combination of white slight gold to the details. Perfectly furbished and modern.
But no too much.
"There is more." He whispered, his warm breath ticked my cheeks. "Come."
We pass through the length of the living room till we were past the stair case and if my mind was blown from the front portion of the house, I'd say my mind just left my whole body.
There was an indoor pool.
But that's not it.
Crossing the length of the pool area we walked into another room, that was supposed to be either a sperate tea room or a sun room because one side was top to bottom window leading out to the back garden.
"I had the mirrors installed last night." He says as a matter of fact as I stare around the three mirrored walls, turned into a dance studio.
I turn to face him.
"Angelo-" I whispered, my heart so full.
"I realised you weren't well emotionally, Ariel." He said pinching my chin so I looked at him more intently.
"In here, you can dance. Do ballet, get into your other dancing." He gestured at the room. "Do yoga, meditate."
"Sit in the sun, read a book, swim, do this and that." He adds.
"The pent house was jamming your head, and you could do with a nice change of air"
I put my arms around the man, hugging him through the tears leaking out of my eyes.
Angelo tentatively placed his arms around me, as I rested my head on his chest, soaking his shirt with my tears.
We stand there for a while before I wipe away my stupid tears and pull away to face him.
He was confused but looked somewhat relived.
"Are we going to stay here?" I asked imprudently.
"For as long as you want to, baby. He says cupping my cheek. "As long as you want-"
"I really like this room, Angelo." I say resting my head back against his chest eyeing the stands for practicing ballet postures, a small utility chest of drawers, mirrors all around, two poles stretching from the floor to ceiling.
"Good." He says, gently grabbing my shoulders and making me pull away from him.
"Now, I want you to promise me that you'll take care, sí?' He asks.
I nod.
"I want to take care of yourself, baby." He says. "In ways that only you can, yes baby?"
"Sí." I whisper biting my lip. "I'll try, Angelo."
"That's all I ask." He says. "That's all I'll ever ask for you and for us, sí?"
I nod.
He swipes his palms over my cheek wiping away my tears.
"Now let me show you the bedrooms, upstairs." He says.
I nod.
The master suite was a dream.
"Go figure out yourself." Angelo said as stepped into the bedroom.
There was a sofa setting in front of the glass panel passing for a window looking out at the backyard and three steps leading up toward circular bed, donned in white and black bedspread.
The suite was furnished with a walk in closet, twice the size of the pent house closet.
The ensuite bathroom came with a circular bowl like ceramic tub, a hexagonal double shower, dual wash basin and a corner portion like room as the toilet with the utilities.
There were four guestrooms, each half as the master suite with walk in closets and ensuite bathroom, all perfectly furnished to look as luxurious as the rest of the house.
I came back to the bedroom after wondering about myself though rest of the house.
Way paranoid to touch anything because everything was pristine white and I was scared the couch would get a dirty finger mark.
Or I'd ruin the carpets.
Angelo looked up from his phone as I entered the room and left the shoes by the door because there was a white grey threadbare carpet covering most of the room and I didn't want it get ruined.
"Did you see the other rooms?" He asked holding a hand out for me from the edge of the bed where he was sitting.
Padding toward him, I placed my hand on his, as he pulled me abruptly to sit astride him, his hands resting in my hips.
"This house is so gorgeous." I said earnestly. "I am scared to walk with shoes on-"
"Why?" He frowned.
"I don't want marks on the carpets." I said. "Or on the couch."
"You can change them to a different color-" He suggested.
"I like white." I said. "It looks clean and lovely."
Pushing my hair back from my face Angelo flashes me a smile.
"I'll add my card on your phone so you can get the house shopping done." He says.
"Everything is furbished already." I say. "I wouldn't want to change a bit, Angelo."
"Are you sure?" Hr asks.
I nod. "Positive."
"Do you feel better then you felt last night, tadpole?" He asks laying down back in the bed, so I am sitting on his covered crotch.
"Yes." I reply. "I feel-"
"Calm?" He asks.
"Yes." I frown. "I suppose."
"Do you want to tell me what triggered you?" He asks, his hands on my hips going up and and down through my back.
I look at his white shirt clad chest.
How do I tell him?
How do I tell him that his yelling triggered me back to that night?
"I was upset, I suppose." I lie.
"You collapsed." He states.
I remember that.
"You were crying and yelling and you fainted." He says. "Something triggered you-"
I bite my lip, sighing.
"I suppose-" I begin. "I suppose when you told me to snap out of it- it- it momentarily transported me back- and- and- I- I felt that pain I felt that night-"
I shake my head.
"I don't know, Angelo." I whisper. "Sometimes I just go back-"
He nods.
"Sometimes I can't help it." I add. "I want to forget. But- it just keeps coming back-"
"I don't want it to-"
"You think we can be better?" He asks abruptly. "Put that behind us?"
"Maybe." I say. "If we try. If I try. Because I keep bringing it back, over and over-"
"I don't blame you." He says.
"You should." I whisper. "You should, because I blame you all the time."
"I shouldn't." He says. "And I don't. I won't. Ever."
I barely smile at him placing my palm on his stubbled cheek.
"Let me make you lunch." I offer, wanting this tensed air leave us.
Moving his face he places a kiss on my palm.
"You want to cook for me, baby?" He asks.
His tone playful and suggestive.
I nod but shriek as soon as he flips us back so I am laying under him, his knees on either side of my hips fingers intertwined pressed in the sides of my head.
"You're beautiful." He states looking intently into my eyes.
The way he looks at me makes me smile.
"I'd rather have you for lunch, tadpole." He says, pulling his right hand away from mine and pushing my hair back.
Angelo leans down, his lips touch mine in the most gentlest dance, slowly and softly, he kisses me, devours me, as his hands roam all over my body, possessively.
Knuckles caress over my breasts making nipple peak out from under the sheath of my blouse as we pull away for catching our breath.
Angelo, sitting back on his knees takes his time to undo his shirt and discard it on the floor, palms resuming to explore every inch of my body, taking off my blouse, my skirt, my underwear before connecting our lips again.
I was already wet and ready for him, when I felt the tip of his girth nudging my entrance.
Pushing himself inside with one hard and deep thrust, he leans down and gathers me in his arms, holding me close as I wrap my arms around his neck.
My moans and groans covering up the sounds out bodies make as we connect in the most intimate ways.
I've never felt this way, I think as a moan rips though me from his ministrations.
"Ariel." Angelo sighs, his face buried in the crook of my neck as he slowly pulls out of my wetness and thrusts himself back in.
Hard, yet agonisingly slow, his girth swelling inside me as I feel my body shake along with his with the approach of our climax.
"Oh, Angelo." I cry out, my fingers pulling his hair as I raise my body up to meet him thrust for thrust, hoping and trying to make him increase him pace as we slowly, oh so very slowly, build up our orgasm.
"Cum with me, baby." Angelo urges.
His lips placing tiny wet kisses along the length of my neck as I feel him start to throb, his strokes getting sloppier, the numbness on my stomach returns and our body shakes as one as Angelo hold me close.
Our arousal soak the new bed, but I still hold him to me, waiting for the tremors of my body to pass as I catch my breath.
Pulling himself out of my heat, Angelo caresses my cheek, my eyes heavy, dropping.
But I still want to make him lunch. I think to myself.
Ten seconds later when I finally feel my muscles I sit up, making Angelo roll over to the other side of the massive circular bed.
"Let's shower." I offer. "Then I'll make you lunch."
____________________________________
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Okay, now might be a good time to tell y'all that idk what this book is. Lmao.
Also this was a very badly written chapter.
So yeah~ and a bit messy but I think it was if not fully but slightly necessary-
Also whose POV do you want next chapter?
Also ARE Y'ALL EXCITED FOR LEONIDAS'S BOOK?
-November