March 8, 2020
I am back in Korea after spending almost a year in the US. My contract was for two years but due to COVID19 we had to return to Korea earlier to the disappointment of my brother.He was very upset about leaving since this last assignment was his favorite. Taking pictures of street racers and their cars has to be his favorite thing I have ever done. He has been coming with me every time I am out of the country to help with Mia but I know it can get boring for him being on the shoot and having to babysit. This time he enjoyed every minute of it and even made some new friends in the community.
My little girl is about to turn 2 and she is starting to talk. She learned a few english words in the states and I am proud of how smart she is. As she gets older she starts to look more like her father and it has made it hard to forget him. I try not to think about the past but every time I look into her eyes I can see Yoongi. You would think that by being outside of the country I would get away from his image but they are worldwide now and it does not matter where I go. I will see their pictures everywhere. Of course coming home a few days before his birthday has made it even harder. My whole village is filled with banners and events to honor him. I know I have to continue acting like nothing happened between us but it hurts seeing his face everywhere. I am thankful my brother and parents have given up on asking who is Mia's father and are none the wiser on who he really is. Specially now that I am moving back to Seoul for the rest of this pandemic. I have a new assignment and after finishing the 14 days of required quarantine I will be able to move in with my best friend Hae. She has recently lost her roommate who moved away and she is super excited to have Mia and I join her.
My parents are upset I am leaving and I am taking Mia with me but they understand I need to continue growing my career. This time Bong will not be coming with me and I know it will be hard on him and specially little Mia who is really attached to him. My parents are getting old and my dad can not manage the bakery by himself anymore and Bong is needed here. With all I have gotten paid the last few years I have been able to get my parents out of debt and the bakery was able to be remodeled. The business is doing really good by itself and they seem to be pretty busy all the time. I have been in quarantine since I landed in Korea, so Mia and I haven't had a chance to explore the town as much and no one outside my family has gotten to meet her. I am kind of glad because I live with the constant fear Yoongi's family will see her and notice what I see everyday. That she looks just like carbon copy of her father. I mean my family has not noticed but I feel like blood calls blood and Yoongi's family will be able to tell and I don't want them to pressure Yoongi on accepting his child when he clearly does not want her in his life. And my daughter does not deserve someone that does not love her in her life.
——————————————————————————————————-
April 3, 2020
This is my first week being in Seoul and Mia and I have been adjusting to the new place. We really miss my parents and it has made it hard. Hae has been amazing and just like everyone that has met my baby girl she has fallen in love. No one can replace Bong in Mia's eyes but Hae has been doing a good job being an auntie. I start work today and with the state of the city due to the pandemic I don't know how today will go. Hae has the day off and I am thankful since I have not found a daycare for Mia or any type of home help. Deep down I am kind of hesitant due to the virus and I don't know if I will be able to trust anyone else with my daughter.
I get my little girl ready for the day worried about how she would do without me. Today she is wearing a pink and white jumper and I am amazed at how big she looks. She has a lot of hair but it's mostly short except for her bangs that need a little trim. I put her hair in two ponytails and I brush her long bangs that match mine. She smiles up at me excited for the day and I cant believe today will be the first day I leave her behind. Usually Mia would go on the shoots with me but with this pandemic I don't want to risk her nor Hae. Mia starts to jump in the bed once I finish her hair and try to sit her down to get her shoes on.
"So how long do you think today will take you? I hear Hae ask from behind me and I don't turn to answer.
"I don't know usually around 10 hours why?" I say doing my best to calm my almost 18 month old.
"I wanted to know so I can order us some take out for dinner to celebrate your first day" She says and I turn around defeated caring a shoeless Mia.
"Sure sounds good I will call you when I am heading home." I say looking at my friend. "Mia will you let auntie Hae put on your shoes. Mommy can't be late" I say and Mia shakes her head in a stubborn no.
"Come on Mia, come with auntie" Hae says holding out her hands to carry my daughter.
"NO, Mommy" Mia clings to my neck and I think she knows I am leaving her behind. I was hoping Hae would distract her while I made my exit but I think my little girl will give me a hard time. I smile at my friend and she smiles back probably thinking the same thing.
"I got a new Toy for you in my room" Hae says and knowing my daughter she is very interested. I watch as she look at Hae and a gummy smile starts to show on her face. She always kills me with that smile.
"Let's go with auntie" I say and this time she listens and opens her hands for Hae to hold her. I grab my backpack with my equipment and I follow them out of my bedroom. I watch as they both walk into Hae's room and I rush to the front door before Mia notices me. I send her a flying kiss knowing she won't see it but I certainly do need it. I will miss my baby girl but mommy needs to work hard to get her what she needs.
I am half way into my work shift and I have been shooting for most of the morning. The ballerina I am working with has been amazing and her beauty is unparalleled. Sun-Hee is a modern day Snow White, with pale milky skin and very dark hair that reaches her lower back. Her lips are plum red and I have to admit she looks good in every single picture I have taken. She has a ballerina body, very slim and shorter than I am but she moves with grace and she acts taller than she is. Before the shoot we had time to meet and get to know a few things about each other. I told her about Mia and she told me about her little brother thats just two years older than Mia. We got along so well that we planned for the kids to have a playdate. I am happy I made an extra friend in Seoul and I think she felt the same way. She told me she has only been in Korea for less than a year which I was surprised because her Korean is amazing. She explained her parents are both Korean but they moved to Paris when she was about 2 years old and she was raised there. Her parents only spoke to her in Korean and that's how she was able to not loose it. I realized we have a lot in common when she admitted she had no friends and I told her about Hae. We also made plans to meet when all this pandemic stuff is over and go out for drinks. I think we will all get along and I am excited to have a new possible friend now that Min has moved away.
We have moved to a new park and I am currently taking pictures of Sun-Hee while she does a second arabesque. Of course she looks stunning and she has been a champ staying still while I get the right shot. I hear my phone vibrate on my pocket and I try to work faster to be able to answer it before Sun-Hee gets tired. I finally get the shot after a few more pictures and I gesture for Sun-Hee to take a break.
"Hello" I say into the phone and I hear Mia babble in the background.
"Ara, I have a problem" I hear Hae say and the first thing that comes to mind is my daughter.
"What's wrong? Is the baby ok?" I say and my heart stops for a moment waiting for an answer. I knew leaving Mia behind was not a good idea. What if she fell? or she got sick?
"She is fine, the baby is fine" She says quickly and I know she noticed the worry in my voice. "It's just that I got a call and they want me to come into work for a last minute staff meeting" I hear her continue and my stomach sinks. A staff meeting? Now? What will happen to Mia? "Ara there is no way I can say no, I don't want to get in trouble. It sounded urgent"
"I don't want you to get in trouble either" I sigh not liking the way this conversation is heading.
"I can take Mia with me, she will be with me the whole time and I will come back as soon as it is over" I hear Hae plead her case but I can no longer process what is going to happen. Mia could possible be in the same building as her father. What if he sees her? Will he know she is mine? I mean he knows I was pregnant and he knows Hae is my friend. He will put two and two together and he will figure out Mia is his daughter. "I swear Ara, she will not leave my sight and I will avoid him" Hae speaks again and she brings me back to the now.
"I know, I know" I say not having any other choice. "Go but come back as soon as it's over" I continue and I hear her agree and say goodbye but I don't speak.I start to panic and I take a seat on the closets park bench I can find. Sun-Hee who has been on her phone all this time notices me and she walks up to me.
"Are you ok?" She asks I can see concern grow on her face.
"I'm fine" I say looking at the cute picture of Mia on my phone. Her sparking eyes look back at me with her gummy smile at full display while hugging her favorite teddy bear.
"You want me to get you something to drink" Sun-Hee asks and I look up at her. She is really a sweet person and I am glad she is here to help me get through the next hour knowing my daughter can unknowingly meet her father.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hae's POV
I arrive at the Big Hit building and I notice Min waiting for me outside by the door. She had been the one to call me about the meeting since she is the lead stylist. I watch her expression change when she notices the little girl in my arms and I can see the screws turn in her head. I had not told her about Mia since she is so close to the guys. She has officially moved in with Jin and their relationship is a big open secret within the company. I was afraid she would ask a lot of questions and if Yoongi ever told her about Ara's pregnancy she will be able to figure out Mia was Yoongi's daughter. I carry Mia closer to my chest and I feel like I have to protect her even more now.
"Who do we have here?" Min says smiling down at my little niece who looks to be really tired from skipping her nap. I watch as little Mia hides her face in my blouse and she scratches her eyes and I know thats a sign that she is about to fall asleep.
"Hi this is Mia" I say smiling back at my friend.
"She is so cute, did you get a part time job as a babysitter?" Min asks. "Is it because I moved away?"
"No, she is my niece" I say and I forget Min knows I don't have any siblings. "Why are you not inside? I continue trying to change the subject so she won't notice my small white lie.
"Yes! I am waiting on Ella she wanted to get coffee for the guys and Namjoon asked me to wait for her here to help with all the coffees." Min says totally forgetting our previous topic and I take a deep breath out of relief.
"She is so sweet for doing that" I say talking about Ella.
"Oh it looks like your niece fell asleep" Min points at Mia's face and I look down to see Mia's little close eyes and open mouth.
"Hi girls" I hear behind me and I turn around to see Ella with her hands full walking quickly towards us. I bow down slowly as to not wake my sleeping beauty and I watch as Min takes one of the coffee trays from Ella's hands.
"OMG what a beautiful little girl" Ella whispers coming closer to look at Mia.
"She is heavy" I say smiling and both Min and Ella laugh quietly.
"Can I carry her" Ella asks and I shake my head in a yes. I know I should keep her close but I trust Ella with her. "Seeing her has made me miss my Cooper and little Akira" Min takes the rest of the coffee and sweet's bags and I gently hand Mia to Ella. If she only knew that She is holding her niece.
We make it to the conference room and we seem to be the last ones to make it to the meeting. I bow my head down to greet the guys and I notice Yoongi and JK are missing and my stomach relaxes. I watch as the guys eyes light up when one by one they notice Ella and Mia.
"Soooo Cute" Tae says getting up to walk towards the baby. He is followed by Jimin and Hobi who have come to circle us and Jin and Namjoon do the same.
"Who is she?" Namjoon asks kissing Ella on the forehead.
"She is Hae's niece" Ella answers and all of the guys smile.
"I thought you didn't have any siblings Hae" Jin outs me and I think quickly of what to say.
"I don't she is my friend's daughter. I am babysitting her for today" I tell the truth not knowing what else say.
"She looks so familiar" Tae says getting closer to study her face and I feel my heart drop to the floor. I look at Mia who begins to stir and I watch as her eyes open.
"No, no no no baby go back to sleep" Tae says making soothing gestures with his hands.
"See what you did Tae, you woke her up" Jimin says hitting Tae in the back and the others laugh waking Mia up even more.
"All of you woke her up, good job guys" Ella says scolding each guy. "Now she will be awake and bored for this whole meeting"
"I can play with her and keep her entertained" Tae raises his hand and Jimin follows.
"We should get started" Min says and I take the baby from Ella to put her on the floor. Tae grabs her hand and both him and Jimin take her to one of the corners that has a big leather sofa.
"We will be back here for any one that needs us" Tae says smiling.
We all take a seat around the conference table and a few minutes later Yoongi and Jk enter with the rest of the staff. I watch Yoongi closely and I can't take my eyes away. I can't believe he is in the same room as his daughter and he has no clue. Or does he? I notice Yoongi looks behind me and I know he is seeing Tae and Jimin play with Mia. He looks at me and I think he knows I am the only one that could have brought a kid. I smile and his expression is as blank as ever. The meeting starts once we have all taken our seats and we go over the next months schedules. We find out the tour has officially been postponed and some of the member's are upset at the decision and to be honest they are not the only ones. The mood is not a happy one but hearing Mia's giggles from time to time eases the sadness in the room. Once the meeting is over the staff leaves and I pick up the paperwork around me to start to get up and get Mia but she reads my mind and she wobbles her way to me.
"I mommy" She says and I know she is missing Ara. I study her sadden face and I pick her up to snuggle her.
"We are going home now baby" I say and I hear Ella speak.
"Yoongi, JK this is little Mia" I look up at JK and he smiles. I look at Yoongi and I notice he is starring at Mia.
"She is cute" Yoongi says once he notices me looking.
"She looks like you Hyung" I hear Hobi say and I feel my heart drop for the second time today.