-December 31st 1998-
At Monica and Rachel's Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party.The place is crowded and we're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.
(Jay Leno:Is there any entertainment there?.What are people doing?.
Cassius:All right!.Here we go!.1999!.The year of Cas!.
Me,Joey and Cassius are standing next to Chandler and Monica.
Chandler:We're very happy for you.
Joey:What's the matter?.
Chandler:We wanted to kiss at midnight but nobody else is going to so y'know…
Cassius:All right I'll take care of it.
Monica:Oh no wait Cas!.
We try to stop him but he ignores us and goes to talk to Ross who is hopping.Me and Joey walk over.
Ross:"Hopping".73!,72!,71!.
Cassius:Ross!,Ross!,Ross listen!.Who are you kissing at midnight huh?.Rachel or Phoebe?.
Ross:What?.
Joey:Well you gotta kiss someone you can't kiss your sister.
Ross:Well who's gonna kiss my sister.
Cassius:Chandler.
Ross:Awe man!.Really?.
Cassius:Dude,dude who would you rather have kiss your sister me or Chandler?.
Ross:That's a good point.
Tabitha:Yeah.
Ross:Oh well since I have that whole history with Rachel I guess Phoebe.
Cassius:Okay great!.
Ross:All right.
Me,Cassius and Joey go over to Phoebe.
Tabitha:Pheebs!,Pheebs!.Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!.
Phoebe:It's so obvious why doesn't he just ask?.
The three of us go over to Rachel.
Cassius:Rach!,Rach!.Listen I'm gonna kiss you at midnight.
Rachel:What?!.
Joey:Well everyone's gotta kiss someone. You can't kiss Ross you got the history.
Rachel:So?.
Cassius:So?.Who would you rather have kiss you me or Chandler?.
Rachel:Oh good point.
Joey:Yeah!.
We all begin watching the ball drop.
All:3!,2!,1!.Happy New Year!.
And with that everyone starts kissing.Me and Joey kiss eachother as Chandler kisses Monica,Ross kisses Phoebe and Cassius kissss Rachel.
Joey:Happy New Year!.
Tabitha:"Grins".Happy New Year Babe.
-January 1st 1999-
Later on after the party.Everyone has left except for Me,My husband and our friends.
Ross:Y'know what?.I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in 99!.
Rachel:But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Ross:Just the one divorce in 99!.Y'know what I am gonna be happy this year.I am gonna make myself happy.
Chandler:Do you want us to leave the room or?.
Ross:Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before.That my friends is my New Year's resolution.
Phoebe:Oh!.That's a good one!.Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
Chandler:That's good one too Pheebs.Now all you have to do is find a planeload of people who's resolution is to plummet to their deaths.
Phoebe:Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
Monica:She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us.
Ross:In fact I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without making fun of us.Eh y'know what better yet?.A week.
Chandler:I'll take that bet my friend.And you know what paying me the 50 bucks could be the new thing you do that day!"...And it starts right now!
Joey:All right my New Year's resolution is to learn how to play the guitar.
Ross:Oh.
Phoebe:Really?!.How come?.
Joey:Well y'know those special skills I have listed on my resume?.I would love it would be great if one of those was true...I don't want to stress Tabitha out with teaching me tho.
Tabitha:Awe Joey that's so sweet but I don't mind.
Joey:"Shakes head".I don't want either you or our child to be stressed.
Phoebe:Do you want me to teach you?.I'm a great teacher.
Joey:Really?.Who,who have you taught?.
Phoebe:Well I taught me and I love me.
Joey:Yeah that'd be great!.Thanks Pheebs!.
Rachel:Oh look!.Claire forgot her glasses!. And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend who I hear needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer if you know what I'm talking about.
Monica:Hey Rach maybe your resolution should be to um gossip less.
Rachel:I don't gossip!.
We all laugh knowing she does in fact gossip.
Rachel:Well maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service it doesn't mean I'm a gossip.I mean would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?.
Tabitha:Well if Ted Kopel talked about his coworkers botched boob jobs I would.
Rachel:What?.They were like this!.
Rachel puts her hands over her breasts and indicates that the coworkers boob job resulted in one pointing up and one pointing down...Later that day at Central Perk Me,Joey,Chandler and Cassius enter as we see Ross is talking to a woman.
???:I'll see you tomorrow.
Ross:Okay!.
The woman leaves and Ross turns to us.
Ross:Hey!.
Tabitha,Joey,Chandler,Cas:Hey!
Ross:I just asked that girl out.
Chandler:Nice!.
Cassius:Nice!.Yeah!.Is that part of your resolution your new thing for today?.
Ross:Yes it is.See.
Ross shows us the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.
Chandler:"Reads".Elizabeth Hornswoggle?.
Ross:That's right uh Elizabeth Hornswoggle.
Chandler:Hornswoggle.
Joeu:You all right Chandler?.Is there something funny about that name?.
Chandler:No.No I just think that maybe I-I'd heard it somewhere before.
Chandler sits down rubbing his temple.
Tabitha:Oh really!.Where?.Somewhere funny I'd bet!.
Chandler is straining to keep quiet as Phoebe enters.
Ross:Hi Pheebs!.
Phoebe:Hey!.
Ross:Oh,oh guess what?.I-I have a date with Elizabeth."Talking into Chandler's ear".Hornswoggle.
Phoebe:Hornswoggle?."To Chandler".Oh this must be killing you.
Ross:All right see you later.
Joey:See ya!.
Ross leaves and Joey turns to Phoebe as Cassius leaves the Cafe as well.
Joey:All right Pheebs I am ready for my first lesson.
Phoebe:Okay.
Joey tries to take the guitar.
Phoebe:Oh no,no,no you don't touch the guitar!.First you learn here."Points to her head".Then you learn here."Points to guitar".
Joey:Um okay.
Phoebe:Okay lesson one chords.Now I don't know the actual names of the chords but um I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them.
Phoebe holds up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.
Phoebe:So then this is Bear Claw.Okay um Turkey Leg and Old Lady.
Joey tries to imitate them.
Chandler:What an interesting approach to guitar instruction.Y'know some might find it amusing I myself find it regular.
The next day I leave my apartment to see Phoebe and Rachel enter Monica and Rachel's apartment.After a few seconds I enter the apartment and my husband speaks up.
Joey:Hey Pheebs!.Check,check this out.
Joey holds up his hand in one of Phoebe's chords.
Phoebe:Oh you nailed the Old Lady!.
They both laugh.
Joey:Yeah listen so I thought I was getting better so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and…
Phoebe:Did you,did you touch any of the guitars while you were there?.Did you?!.
Joey:No.
Phoebe:Give me your hands.
My husband does and she smells his left hand.
Phoebe:Strings.Gimme it!.
Joey gives her his right hand and she smells it.
Phoebe:Pick.Do you want to learn to play guitar?.
Joey:Yes!.
Phoebe:Then don't touch one!.
Ross who's wearing leather pants enters the apartment with Ben.
Ross:Hi!.
Ben:Hi!.
Tabitha,Monica:Hi Ben!.
Ben:Auntie Monica!,Auntie Tab Tab!.
We run to hug Ben making me grin at our nephew.
Chandler:Ross is wearing leather pants. Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants?...Someone comment on the pants!.
Rachel:I think they're very nice.
Tabitha:I like em.
Joey:Yeah!.
Chandler bangs the table in frustration.
Monica:I like them a lot.
Chandler:That's not what I had in mind.See people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants.You see they're very tight."Motions to Ross's butt".Maybe there's something in that area.
We all speak at once in approval of his pants and Cassius asks where he got them.
Ross:Oh see I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself Wow."To Chandler".I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before.
Chandler:Oh come on!."Leaves".
Cassius:I gotta go."Leaves".
Ross:Okay seriously what do you think?.
Joey:You look like a freak.
Rachel:Awful absolutely awful.
We all comment on his pants and how terrible they are Monica starts taking pictures of Ross and Ben with the flash on.
Ross:What are you,what are you doing?.
Monica:It's my New Year's resolution!.
Ross:What to blind my child?.
Monica:No!.To take more pictures of all of us together.I mean I really think it's the best resolution because everyone will enjoy the pictures.
Joey:Well everyone will enjoy my music as well.
Joey does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe.They both start to strike a pose.