Pairings: Not Applicable
Warnings: Adult humour, sexual references
Pronouns: They/them
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Was it probably a bad idea to accept Austin's offer to go onto one of his Love-Or-Host shows? Probably. Were they still going to go through with it? Oh, hell yes.
That was the thing, (Y/n) couldn't decide whether they should be excited or terrified for their life of what was about to come. The next few hours were either going to be the most interesting hours of their life, where they shared stories and got to know the contestants, or just a shame-fest where they get absolutely demolished. But could they expect any less from this? Of course not. It was a vc full of all of their friends where they all competed for (Y/n)'s love. Now, didn't that sound nice?
They didn't know what to expect and when the camera faced them and the stream had started to go live, they knew that they'd just to have to dive into it and hope for the best.
The show started the same as every other. Austin would make a big, dramatic introduction to reveal the main event of this show. Which was them, of course.
"Welcome to the show!" Austin cheered enthusiastically before panning over to (Y/n)'s screen. "Would you like to introduce yourself, (Y/n)?"
"Oh! Uhm..!" (Y/n) chuckled lightly. "Well, I'm (Y/n)... I'm a Twitch streamer and I make YouTube videos... sometimes..." They chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of their palms. "I live in (Y/h/t) and I live alone... With my one cat." They shrugged. It felt weird having the spotlight on them. They did a lot of streams in the past with the camera focused on nothing but their face, but this felt a lot different. I mean, this was basically a dating show.
A small chuckle emitted from Austin's lips as the words fell right out of (Y/n)'s mouth. (Y/n) capped it all of with a smile towards the screen.
"Okay, thank you for the introduction, (Y/n)! Now, let me introduce the people who will be comparatively trying to win you over!"
"Yay." They mumbled quietly, still beaming brightly in excitement. "Let's do this!" They piped up.
(Y/n) seemed so bold, but their face flushed when they took a glance at the box, their eyes scanning over the people who had actually showed up to win their affection. They were torn between confident and flustered. On the one hand, they're surrounded by their friends, they shouldn't be embarrassed around them, right? On the other hand, could this show ruin a few relationships they had with them? They were about to find out.
"Okay, would you guys like to introduce yourselves?" Austin questioned, which allowed the others to begin nodding their heads on screen.
Contestant one:
"Hello, (Y/n)." Wilbur smiled and waved, earning a little wave back from (Y/n) and an awkward smirk. "Uh, hey chat!" He greeted brightly. "I'm Wilbur Soot - I am also a Twitch streamer and a YouTuber. I'm also British, which is one of my best features, I would say." He did a little thumbs up as he finished, which earned a sweet giggle from (Y/n).
Contestant two:
"Hi, everyone!" That kind, high voice that (Y/n) absolutely loved had spoken into the microphone. "I'm Nihachu, but most people know me as Niki! I'm from Germany and I love cuddling and watching movies!" She announced cutely, tucking her hands into her sleeves and squeezing her palms together in an excited fashion.
Contestant three:
"Uh- Hello!" (Y/n)'s eyes drew over to the next person's screen. "I'm Dream, for those of you that don't know - But you can call me Clay, I guess. I used to do speedrunning on Twitch and do challenge series' on youtube!" Dream exclaimed. (Y/n) did laugh a little bit while looking over at his screen. He was the only one without a face cam on and to substitute, it was an image of his profile picture. The white blob with the lime green background.
Contestant four:
"Yo dudes, I'm Sapnap - Or Nick." He introduced.
"Can I call you Nick?" They queried.
"Oh, you can call me anything you want." He responded flirtatiously, which caused laughter to erupt throughout the call. "Okay, but uh- I'm from Texas and I barely post YouTube videos which pisses my fans off a lot."
Contestant five:
"Hello everyone, my name's George. I'm twenty-four... Uh... I play Minecraft and..." He cut off to laugh a little. "And that's it, what else can I say?"
"It's sweet and simple, really straight to the point." (Y/n) noted nonchalantly.
Contestant six:
"Hi!" Minx's voice boomed, her confident personality just radiating right off of her. "I'm Minx and I like to cosplay." She threw up a peace sign. "So just saying... If I win, (Y/n), we could have a sick, fucking couple's costume on Halloween."
"Halloween's passed, Minx." (Y/n) snickered.
"Did I fucking stutter?" She snapped back.
Contestant seven:
"Eh... I don't even know what I'm doing here." Techno's low voice peeped out of the microphone.
"It's okay, Techno, just introduce yourself!" (Y/n) responded sweetly.
"You say it like it's easy." He chuckled lowly. "Uhm... My name's Technoblade." He tapped his fingers on his desk, which could be heard through the microphone. "I play bedwars and skywars, so that's cool."
"Yeah, we used to play bedwars a lot together!" (Y/n) reminded the chat.
"They sucked, by the way." He sniggered, gifting himself a 'Hey!' from (Y/n).
Contestant eight:
"Hello!!!" Skeppy yelled, which was a quick change from Techno's monotone speaking. "I'm Skeppy - or Zak! I do trolling videos and annoy everyone around me."
"Aw, you don't annoy me." (Y/n) replied.
"Give him time." Techno added on.
Contestant nine:
"Hey! I'm Karl! I normally take part in Mr Beast's challenge videos, so I get really competitive. But I usually just chill and play Minecraft with a few friends!"
"Well, we'll put that 'competitive' trait to the test. Austin commented, which admittedly scared Karl a little bit.
Contestant ten:
"Wassup' everyone? I'm Eret. I'm British, I play Minecraft for a living and I constantly get spammed by my Twitch chat to say things in a deep voice." He leaned back in his chair, chuckling a bit.
"Ooh, can you say something in a deep voice now?" (Y/n) questioned, tilting their head.
"No," he chortled. "Maybe later, though."
Contestant eleven:
"Hey guys! I'm Quackity, or Alex, if you wanna call me that! And I don't really have much to say, I just wanna say that I'm the Vice President of a country, which technically makes me better than all of you." He shrugged his shoulders coolly.
"Well, hang on! I'm the president of a country!" Wilbur interrupted, drawing the attention back to him.
"Former president." Sapnap reminded him through a quick laugh.
"That still counts for something!" Wilbur reminded all of them.
"Wait, wait, wait. I'm literally above all of you. I own the server." Dream announced, trying to prove assert his dominance above everybody, but it was quickly shut down by Wilbur once more.
"Just because you're the server owner, it doesn't make you our leader!"
"Wait, hang on. But I'm the king, right?" Eret placed his hands on his chest. "Wait, I even have the crown- Look-" He quickly leaned over his desk to pull out a crown to put on his head before smiling cheekily.
"Cool, but Technoblade's actually a king." Skeppy interrupted, shrugging his shoulders.
"That is true." Technoblade clicked his tongue, spinning slightly in his chair.
"Yeah, he's got the crown and everything!" Niki pointed out.
"Plus, he could probably take us all out in one hit." George commented.
"Okay, maybe not in one hit." Dream cut in, feeling his ego deflating just slightly.
"But he's still really good at PvP."
"Wait, what the fuck. Can we stop building Techno's path to victory here?" Minx butted into the conversation.
"Hey, let's not talk about (Y/n) as if they're like- some object! They're a human being with feelings and not a prize to be won!" Niki tilted her eyebrows up, coming quickly to (Y/n)'s defence.
"Aw, thank you Niki."
"Except in this case, where they are, indeed, the main target." Wilbur commented quickly.
"Woah, what're we gonna do- assassinate them?" Sapnap said out loud, trying to hold back his laughter.
"Only shoot them with Cupid's love arrow." Karl smiled, trying to join in on the conversation.
"Yeesh, Karl. That was so sappy." Alex rolled his eyes.
"Oh- Okay..." He piped down.
"Well, guys!" Austin shouted loudly to talk before anybody else could interrupt him or continue the previous conversation. "Let's continue on with the show, shall we?"
-
They didn't know how they got here.
How the fuck?
How did it even?
The question was 'what film would you pick for a movie date?'
How did it end up with:
"HELL NO, I'M NOT LETTING TOM HOLLAND STEAL MY DATE!" Wilbur exclaimed loudly, running his hand through his hair. "That buff, British lad thinks he can get any girl with his English accent and his uwu stans."
"Do you have some sort of unbalanced hatred towards Spider-Man or something?" Eret snorted, causing half of the contestants to laugh along with him.
"No, I just think he's a bit of a womaniser, isn't he?" He shrugged.
"What?!" Minx and Nihachu gasped in unison.
"Okay, if anything, Tom Hiddleston is more of a womaniser than Tom Holland." (Y/n) explained briefly. "Secondly, why would I pay attention to Tom Holland when you've got Jake Gyllenhaul on screen?!" They squealed.
"See, man? This is what I fucking mean!" Wilbur pointed out quickly. Quackity just seemed to be dying of laughter in the background, clutching his chest as he leaned back in his chair.
"I don't know man, Spider-Man is a pretty cool superhero." Techno hummed.
"Yeah, I just like Spider-Man! Next thing I know, you all jump on my case about the actors being too hot." Karl complained loudly.
"See, 'cause Karl-" Sapnap introduced himself intro the conversation. "You don't want your date to be distracted by someone they could potentially be attracted to who isn't you." He educated him slowly. "Otherwise it's never gonna end the way you want it to end."
This line caused Minx to spit out the water that she was drinking.
"It's just a film, how is it gonna end?" George asked, looking around at the others.
"Yeah, man. All these people complain about the actors being too attractive when I just wanna watch the movie." Techno responded.
"Okay, I seriously think that Niki, Techno, George and Karl are the only ones who think that by 'movie date' it literally just means a movie date." Sapnap told the others, who nodded in agreement slowly in agreement. Dream's face wasn't visible, but you could hear him humming.
"I just think it's on you guys for thinking that movie dates always need to end in sex." George folded his arms, tensing his shoulders slightly. Minx snorted at the straightforwardness.
"Oh, come on." Dream scoffed.
"Okay George, I wanted to defend you but, come on. If it's a movie date at someone's house - The lights are off and you're huddled closely together... Something's bound to happen." (Y/n) shrugged slowly, holding their hands up in defence. "But not always though!"
"Some people just like to huddle closely together and just watch the movie in peace, you know?" Eret informed him. "It depends on what level you guys are on."
"You know, I couldn't help but remember that Niki said that she liked cuddling at the start of the show-" (Y/n) pointed out, which caused Niki's face to flush.
"Hey, just because we didn't say that we liked cuddling, it doesn't mean that we don't." Dream huffed.
"Yeah, how come Niki gets all the credit?" Minx voiced her complaints very vocally.
"Because she said it." (Y/n) hummed simply.
"You know, I bet Dream's the kind of guy who does the classic 'Yawn-and-stretch', where you stretch you arm and put it around the person's shoulder." Skeppy put forth that statement, which caused a wave of agreement.
"Oh my God, I bet he actually is." Sapnap chortled aloud.
"What? Seriously, guys?" Dream chuckled lightly, trying to make his embarrassment sound not-too-obvious to the public.
"Technically, Dream wouldn't have to if they're already cuddling together." Karl reminded them.
"Hm, good point." George muttered.
"I just think we've gone off topic a little bit, the question was 'what movie would you pick for a movie date?' And we all just popped off about cuddling." Techno exclaimed in frustration, ruffling his hair just a little bit.
"A lot of big talk from the guy who just said 'whatever movie they want'." Quackity rolled his eyes.
"Hey! It's a brilliant tactic! I don't have to answer legitimately and (Y/n) gets their way! It's a win-win!" Techno's voice hid a chuckle behind his words that were masked in a deep voice.
"I don't know, it seems a bit lazy to me." George grinned, looking over to the others.
"You replied with 'Harry Potter', sit down." Techno retorted. The others immediately responded with an 'oo'. (Y/n) glanced over to Austin's chat for a few seconds and saw that even that chat was joining in. They giggled under their breath quietly.
"He did get you there, George." Minx snickered aloud.
"Shut up, Minx! You chose 50 Shades of Grey!" He argued back defensively.
"It was a fucking joke! ...Come on! ...Uh- Why aren't we bashing on Skeppy's choice of movie?!"
"I don't know, The Lego Movie's actually a pretty good film." (Y/n) tilted their lip and shrugged their shoulders plainly. They started to count her fingers to list off the good things about that movie. "There's romance, there's comedy-"
"There's a kick-ass song." Skeppy cut in excitedly.
"Yes, exactly!"
"Hey, my movie has that!" Sapnap interfered.
"Hey, same!" Alex put forth his reply.
"Hm..." (Y/n) just hummed quietly in response, narrowing her eyes and thinking to herself.
"The trick is to get a really romantic movie." Eret revealed his cliche tactic.
"That explains why your movie choice was so shit." Wilbur snorted cheekily.
"Dude, you picked a musical!" Quackity yelled out at him.
"Hamilton is a musical film!" He shot back quickly in defence.
"I think you're all going the wrong way with these movie tactics." Dream told them straightforwardly.
"Oh, here comes Dream again with his fucking statistics." Wilbur rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair.
"Dream, you picked the saddest movie ever!" Niki has a faint frown stretched across her lips at the thought of the film he had picked for the 'movie date'.
"No, no, no, Sometimes if a movie is sad, it sometimes brings the couple closer!" He provided his evidence, but it still didn't seem right.
"I don't know, I think he's just trying to excuse the fact that he wants to make (Y/n) sad." Techno chuckled.
"Well, y'know, sometimes when I cry, I'd want to hug somebody, it provides comfort." (Y/n) responded, rotating in their chair slowly, their feet dragging across the ground.
"See?"
"To be fair, you guys did all go for the happy-cheery route and that's just-" Minx stopped to fake-gag to prove a point about how shit she thought their movie choices was.
"You can shush, Minx, your film is basically a porno!" Wilbur exclaimed.
"It's to get them in the mood!" She snickered.
"Woahh!!" Skeppy, Karl and Eret all responded awkwardly.
"I'm just saying, your guys' choices sucked." George sat on his high-horse, feeling bold and confident.
"Oh, you need to shush, Gogy." Sapnap warned.
"Okay, guys, we need to stop arguing. I feel like we've been at this question for years." Austin cleared his throat, beginning to get a little tired of all of the arguing between them. "What's going to happen is since we've had a while to get to know each other and this question to... Get to know each other a little more. We're going to eliminate the first person."
The eleven contestants, including (Y/n), went silent. The only people speaking at that moment was the host of the show and the chat, which went absolutely insane. They continuously spammed the names of the person they wanted out, but (Y/n) wasn't going to take their opinions into account.
"I'll repeat their answers to that question and you can think of who you're going to vote out."
"Okay." (Y/n) nodded slowly, feeling a lot of pressure being weighed down onto their shoulders.
"Alright, so... For the question 'What movie would you choose to watch during a movie date, the contestants answered with the following..." Austin trailed off as he continued to announce what everybody had picked.
(Y/n) thought over all of their answers and what they had said during the time that the show had been going on. They made notes of a lot of the things that they had said and compiled up a few reasons on why they were voting this person.
"(Y/n)." Austin called. "Do you know who you're going to vote out on the very first round?"
"I do." They nodded, only slightly sure of their answer.
"Alright, message me and I'll reveal who it is."
(Y/n) quickly typed something into their computer, clearly giving the name of the person to Austin so he could call it out in an incredibly dramatic fashion, most likely making it way more embarrassing for the person.
"So! I have the name!" He announced.
(Y/n) could see that a few of the contestants were getting nervous. Half of Niki's face was hidden behind her hands and Karl was buried inside of his own baggy hoodie, then they looked over to other people like Technoblade, who was nonchalantly bobbing his head and Dream... Where they were just met with the portrait of a white blob staring back at them with a blank smile.
"Are you guys ready?" Austin glanced over at the contestants for a response.
"More than ever." Eret replied.
"Okay..." He began, building up the effect by slowly getting louder and louder. "The person (Y/n) chose was..!"