Zhavia's Point Of View
Monday
November 23, 2016
One more loop... and done. My hair is now pulled up and after minutes of me struggling with that elastic headband. I need to get my hair braided or something so I don't have to keep doing it.
My arms feel like noodles from being up for so long in my hair. I step away for my mirror and towards my door, leaving my room and walking to the guest room one door over from mine. I knock lightly before slowly opening the door to see a sleeping Ethan.
I let him sleepover last night since he acted like he was just too hurt to walk home. He's hugging on to his pillow like it's a person, that's kinda cute. If theres anything I've noticed it's that a sleeping Dolan is way cuter than an awake one. That and that you literally have to abuse a sleeping Ethan to wake him up.
Carefully and slowly I walk over to the sleeping Ethan grabbing the pillow from his grip, before hitting him with it. It takes a couple of hits before he starts to slowly wakes up.
"Mmh I'm up I'm up." I drop the pillow watching him sit up. "Feel better?" I ask genuinely, lightly furrowing my brows with a soft slight smile. He yawns covering his mouth, before speaking up. "Yeah, your guys beds are way more comfier than ours. Remide me again why you're always staying the night at our place instead of the other way around?" He asks examining the sleep number remote that controls the matrice.
"Let's see, one Cam always dictated the sleepovers, two shes the one with a car, and three my dad would never let Grayson sleepover here." He looks at me kind of confused. "Wait does your dad not know that you two have had s-" is he crazy? In panic mode I hop on the bed straddling him, covering his mouth. My dad is in his office which is upstairs. Who knows how much he can hear?
Ethans eyes are super wide I can tell he's confused. "I am going to remove my hand from your mouth don't say anything about me or Grayson being active. Got it?" He nods and I slowly remove my hand. "No he doesn't know. If he did I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be breathing right now." He just nods slowly, he looks down a little too low and immediately looks up confusing me.
That is until I look down at my croped tank top and realize my boobs are literally in his face. I can't help but scoff he is such a guy. "Geez Ethan have you never seen boobs before." I giggle pulling up my tank top so I'm not too much of a distraction.
"Not yours- you should probably just uh get off of me, like now..." My brows furrow in confusion, he is being weird... "Am I hurting you? Oh my God I'm sorry, you said you were fine now."
"No I am, it's not that I just-"
"Its probably this remote-" Its right underneath me, so I try to grab it and move it.
"No Z that's not the-" Oh my god, oh my God, that is NOT the remote! I immediately get off of him once I realize. "Oh my God Ethan I am so- I'll give you a moment alone!" I immediately rush out of the room closing the door. I am SO embarrassed, probably not as embarrassed as he is though.
I full on grabbed his dick- I cannot believe I just did that. That was one way to start the morning off...
__
The vampire diaries plays in the background as I beat the eggs with a whisk. My dad left not too long ago to run a few business arronds. He's constantly always doing something.
I haven't even thought about going to check on Ethan it's been about an hour since I full on groped him... while he was hard... literally so embarrassing. That's big coming from me.
I was so convinced that I didn't even get embarrassed anymore. Clearly I was wrong. I pour the eggs into the hot pan letting them fry. I'm making an omelet, I could have used the omelet maker dad bought for me but I like making it myself.
I add in the cheese and bacon before turning the heat on low and putting a lid on top so the middle can cook. I grab one of the strips of bacon I already cooked and bring it to the couch with me.
I think I'm on season two episode one. This is my favorite part. "Hi John, Goodbye John." I say it as the same time as Kathrine does, watching her chop off his fingers. I know she's supposed to be a villain but sis is my comfort character.
"This? Again?" Ethan looks at the the TV as he comes down the stairs.
"Again? This show doesn't stop playing. I will always keep re watching." I bite my bacon before getting back up to go check on my omelet. "I just think that once you know the show word for word you should stop." He says walking over to me. I'm just re watching until they come out with the new season.
"Well I guess it's good that I don't care what you think." I flip my omelet and slide it onto my plate. There goes the awkward silence... I should probably say something.
"So... I'm sorry about uh groaping you?" I don't know how to feel about the terminology 'groaping' but I guess that kind of is what happened. "Um don't worry its already forgotten. It was just morning wood its normal." I scoff before laughing a little.
"Yeah blame it on morning wood. It's okay Ethan I know I have an affect on you." I joke as I put two strips of bacon on the plate while I'm still at the stove. "You are so full of yourself." He rolls his before sitting down in one of the bar chairs watching put everything on the plate.
"I'm definitely not. I'm just joking. On a real note I have never been so embarrassed." I laugh, grabbing a fork for the plate. "I have never seen you so embarrassed. You literally ran." He laughs as I turn around giving him the plate. "Yeah yeah whatever. Just take this apology omelet."
"You're not gonna make yourself one?" I shrug, I'm trying to cut back before the race in December. "I already had one. You're welcome to join me on the couch and watch the greatest show to ever exist or just sit here." I shrug before walking back over to the couch.
"I wouldn't call it the greatest." He comes to the couch with his plate, as he should. He knows this show is amazing. "Let's not act like you didn't watch seasons one and two with me in the seventh grade and loved it." He knows he loved it. He couldn't stop talking about how pretty all the girls in the show were. Low key it bothered me...
I think I had a thing for him back then... it was just easier to act like I didn't. "No, I was in love with you back then, I would have done whatever you asked me." I look at him scoffing, he's really going to sit here and tell a bold faced lie like that.
"What? I was.." He says a little bit quieter, like he's embarrassed to admit it. "Ethan, I know you didn't like me back then because you had straight goo goo eyes for Julissa. The only reason you thought you liked me was because she wasn't there anymore. I was second place." I shrug, it hurt me like a bitch back then to realize it but what did I know? I was fucking twelve.
"No, I had a crush on Julissa I was head over heels for you since the day you pointed out my ninja turtle shirt. I just didnt realize it until after she went away. By then you had straight goo goo eyes for Grayson." I never thought about it like that... it's kinda sweet..
"Yeah no, you're full of shit. I was low maintenance and had ankle biters when I was twelve. The only person in love with me was Daniel Arnold and he sniffed glue."
__
(Repeat Medicine By Daughter)
Zhavia's Point Of View
Sunday
November 23, 2016
A couple hours after Ethan went home I finally got a text from Grayson.. here I am now just reading it over and over.
'Can you come over?'
There are so many scenarios playing out in my head. Is he asking me to come over to get my stuff? To talk? What if this is him just clarifying that we're broken up? Regardless I'm definitely going.
I've also been telling myself that for the past two hours. He probably thinks I'm not coming. It's like nine PM now...
That's it I'm going. I put my phone in my pocket and get off my bed to put on my slides. My dad probably isn't going to me back for a while, he texted me telling me that he was going to drive up to New York tonight.
So I'll be back in time before he can say was out too late. That or I could just tell him Cam and I are having a sleepover. We probably would be having one if she and Julissa weren't out getting laid... gross.
Before I know it I'm already here, at their front door.
When I go to twist the nob the door is already open, do they want to get robbed? I walk inside closing and locking the door behind me. I make my way upstairs to Graysons door and give it a small knock.
"Who is it?"
"Its me, Z." It takes a few seconds before he opens the door. I swear my heart almost stops when I see him. I'm scared of all the many ways this can go down.. he takes a step back so I can walk in. He walks over to his bed sitting down and the edge of it he doesn't even look at me..
He puts his arms out and I walk over standing in front of him giving him my hands, letting him hold them. So I guess he isn't pissed at me.. "I almost thought you weren't going to show up." I shrug thinking about how I'm going to respond.
"Well I'm here, I just want you to know that if you called me here to further slut shame me... I'm going back home." He shakes his head no, still holding my hands as I stand in front of him.
"Z I'm sorry that I- I genuinely don't know where to start. I had no right to say the shit I said to you. I was just so pissed, at you. At Ethan, I hate myself for how angry I get sometimes. Okay I was wrong and I know that but Z you've been acting strange and you don't tell me anything about your past relationships-"
"Then you ask me about my past, not gossip with some assholes about it." I take a seat beside him letting our hands go, finally he looks at me and he looks so upset, and ashamed.
"I wanted to Z I did, but what they were saying was kind of making sense an it was hard for me to defend you. It was hard for me not to believe it-"
"It made sense to you that the only possible way that I could get that hoodie is because I slept with your brother?!" I really want to hear how he's going to justify that. "I am so sorry for accusing you of sleeping with Ethan okay I know you'd never do that. But Z you do a lot of shady things. You don't talk about your past relationships at all, I've picked up on you taking shady phone calls, you're constantly hiding your phone, it makes me think.."
I hate it but he's right. Without context everything I'm doing looks... bad. I have to tell him.
"Despite what you or your fucked up friends think. I have only been with three guys intimately and that's including you. I don't get around like that, but let's be clear even if I did, it's none of your business and its sure as hell none of your friends business."
"I know, I don't even know why I asked that dumb question I don't even care about your body count. Your past is your past I just.. it doesn't mean I don't wonder." This is going a lot better than I imagined it would.
"As for me being shady with my phone, I- I'm talking to my mom again. I wanted to tell you I did, but Grayson my mom is a really vulnerable thing for me to talk about. I just didn't want to go there yet, to talk about that-"
"Did Ethan know? Did you tell him?" I don't want to lie to him, but I'm not dumb. I know there is a right and wrong answer to that question.
"What? No, I didn't tell anyone. Not even Cam knew. I just wanted to keep it to myself, things between me and her are going kind of good and I like that."
"So, in a way it's kind of top secret information...?"
"Yes and you're the only one who knows and I want to keep it that way. At least for now. Plus I think we can both agree that if Cam finds out that I told you something before I told her she'd probably spazz." He softly smiles nodding. "Well your secret is safe with me." He hold up his pinky making me laugh he's such a child.
"A pinky promise Grayson? Really? How old are we?"
"You're never to old for a pinky promise now don't leave me hanging." I playfully roll my eyes before joining pinkies with him, immediately letting our hands fall. I really thought this whole talk was going to go down a completely different path.
As soon as he gets the chance he leans in kissing me softly, he pulls away keeping his forehead against mine.
"I'm so sorry for saying what I said to you."
"And..." I whisper raising my eyebrow challenging him to continue. "And hurting you, mentally, and physically." I feel his hand touch my shoulder, sliding his hand gently down my arm holding my wrist before bringing it to his lips leaving a soft kiss.
I can't help but smile, keeping my hand near his face beginning to caress his cheek. "And..." I challenge yet again.
"And lying to you about failing my test, and then gaslighting you about it." He leans in again closing the gap between us, I turn my head deepening the kiss before pulling away again. "And..." I challenge one last time.
"Theres more?" He asks making me laugh. "I'm sorry too, for causing problems, I should have just told you about my mom."
"And..." He tries to challenge me now.
"There's more?" I joke sarcastically. He shakes his head to himself playfully before surprising me making me squeal when he pulls me close to him, getting on top of me leaving playful kissing on my neck, tickling me.
"Grayson!" I can't help but giggle hysterically, he immediately stops. Why?
"Okay that is enough calling me by my government name, I don't want you getting used to calling me Grayson." He says it with such a straight face, I almost burst out into laughter. But I keep my composure nodding my head.
I flip us I've so I'm on top of him, straddling him.
My arms are still wrapped loosely around his neck while I play with his hair, looking in his eyes. I'm glad we worked this out. "What are you thinking about?" He asks with a smile.
"How this went a lot better than I expected it to. Its no secret, I have abandonment issues. I don't know if I'd ever recover from that."
"Trust me I care way too much about you to just leave like that. I love you, you have no idea how much I hate myself for hurting you like that." He lean in kissing me yet again.
"As much as I'd love to stay here and make up officially, I have to pee." I giggle getting off of him. "Fine, don't take too long."
I leave his room, closing his door behind me. For some reason I just want to check in on Ethan. When I knock on his door I immediately hear a "Its open!"
"Its just me." I close the door behind me and walk over to his bed taking a seat. "Did you already tell my brother off? Cause I had a few things of my own I wanted to add."
"Don't worry about that we talked it out we're good now-"
"You're joking right?" Why does he seem so pissed I shake my head no answering him. "Ethan he apologized and we-"
"And what? He told you he was just reacting off anger? That he'll never do it again? Z tell me you don't believe that." I'm so confused right now. "Yes Ethan, I do believe it, we talked about it and we-"
"And you believed him and you had make up sex?" Okay he's said enough.
"Will you stop cutting me off and let me explain? We had a fight every couple does eventually. What he did was wrong, yes but I was in the wrong too." He furrows his brows, he's confused. "Z you're one of the smartest people I know. How can you not be smart enough to see that he is manipulating you-"
"You're reaching no one is manipulating anyone."
"He called you a slut, he lied to you, he accused you of sleeping with me, and hurt you, put his hands on you and you're forgiving him because couples fight? Z this is a pattern he is going to keep hurting you and you're going to keep letting him. Please don't do this to yourself. You're smarter than this." I hear him I do but he's making things out to be worse than what they really are.
"You know what? This is my fault for dragging you into my relationship problems-"
"What no-"
"Its fine, I won't do it again. I'll see you in the morning." He's allowed to state his opinion on how he thinks things will go, I gave him that right when I involved him on my relationship issues. I shrug getting up to leave his room.
He's wrong I know it, I'd know if I were being manipulated wouldn't I?