The guys had been to Atlanta a few times now on tour, but had always explored the area closer to the hotel. Now that they had a local guide, they wanted to venture out. I took them to Koreatown, which was where I lived. I took them to the gallery and to the coffee shop where the first ever "Sun-Hyuk" fanmeeting had been held. They signed the wall for SeoYeon and surprised a few unsuspecting fans. She was smitten with Shownu and fed him lots of yummy treats while we were there.
Minhyuk held my hand in public without fear. They posed for a couple of selcas with young fans. A couple of girls yelled "Hwaiting!" to me. It was such a great feeling to have the support of so many of his fans. We ate lunch and explored the city. It was a fun day and the guys were all very protective of me. They always kept me in between or in front of them. I finally had a family and it felt amazing.
We went to the park near my apartment and had an impromptu photo session. They were so comfortable with me, so the photos looked very candid and natural. They were goofing off, they were acting sexy, they were being relaxed and free. It was casual, unscripted, and spontaneous. These were quite possibly the best photos I had ever taken of human subjects.
We went to a local barbeque place for dinner. These boys were hungry all the time. I could not believe that as many times as they had been in the US, they had not tried American BBQ. It was quite an experience to watch them try something new. We went back to a Karaoke place and relaxed with drinks and silliness. They were hilarious when they were drunk. Minhyuk's savagery and pranks were increased tenfold. He was loud and annoyed the members in his special way. I could not help but laugh at the whole scene.
At one point I was part of a Minhyuk/Changkyun sandwich when a sexy song played and they pinned me unexpectedly. I was a bit tipsy and enjoyed it more than I probably should have. I mean, Changkyun was one of my wreckers, after all. He is a very sensual man, and I would have been numb to have not been affected by that. I am sure Minhyuk sensed it because pulled me closer to him and kissed me in a way that made my toes tingle. I smiled up at him and, "you take my breath away." He smiled back and winked at me and said, "good." Changkyun pouted and then went to dance with Joohoney and Hyungwon.
We headed back to the hotel and to our respective rooms. We picked up where we left off on the dance floor, only just the two of us now. I thought I had picked up on a bit of jealousy earlier and it reappeared when he thought of the dancing earlier. "Changkyun is very sexy, isn't he? Monbebes say so," he laid the bait for me. I realized what he was doing and decided to play along and tease him a bit.
"Mmm, yes he is very sexy. You remember that he and Hyungwon are my next favorites, right?" I nipped at his chin playfully.
"Yeah, I do remember that. Do they turn you on, Jagi?" his voice sounded a bit strained and serious, so I stopped the game before it went too far. It was one thing when we were playing around with the guys, but this wasn't Monsta X funtime. It was just 2 people who love and care for each other. Minhyuk wasn't insecure, but he was sensitive and easily hurt. I wasn't going to be the one to hurt him.
"I admit that your brothers are sexy, and they are gorgeous. All of you are. And all of you 'turn me on' to some degree, but not in the way I think you mean right now. You are the only one with that power. You control my heart, and my body only reacts this way to you... to your voice... your touch," I put his hand over my heart so he could feel it pounding. "You are the only one who makes my heart flutter and my insides quiver. I love you Lee Minhyuk and I am yours110 percent." I took his face in my hands and pulled him to me for a kiss. He responded by picking me up and carrying me to the bed, where he proceeded to test out what I told him. I passed with flying colors.
Later, we were snuggling on the couch and Minhyuk was listening to some music on his phone. He started singing to me and my heart melted. His voice reached deep inside and held on.
He finished the song and started showing me some of the selcas he had taken of us earlier. I tilted my eyes up to him and whispered, "I love you." He leaned his head down to look at my face. It was time to continue our conversation from the night before.
"And I love you."
"I want so badly to just pack up and leave with you, but it isn't that easy," he smiled and stroked my hair.
"I know I am asking a lot. I would move here, you know I love this town, but that is not an option." He stroked my hair and added, "Jagiya, I don't want you to feel pressured." I smiled at him and touched his perfect face.
"Minhyuk-ah, it is the thing that I want most... to be with you. But I just can't move halfway around the world at the drop of a hat, no matter how much I want to. And we have to be careful about your career. My being there could be problematic for you," I was trying to be smart and level-headed about this and not just jump on the emotion train.
"Take your time, Princess. I will be the most patient man ever. And I know you will make the right decision," he winked at me and I laughed.
Morning came too soon. Each time we said goodbye was harder than the last. Nikki came to drive me home and as soon as he spotted her, Changkyun picked her up and spun her around in the air. He kissed her on the cheek, "hi, Noona," and flashed that devastating smile directly at her. She was bewitched by his charm. I laughed at her and she shot me a look. The others climbed into the vans, but Minhyuk held on to me and gave me one more kiss before he climbed in too. He blew kisses and waved from the window. Tears fell from my eyes as they drove away with my heart.
On the ride home, I told Nikki that he asked me to go to Korea. She said she wasn't surprised. She and I had been together for most of our lives. I think we knew someday it might change, but we never really talked about it.
"I want to go, but I am scared to leave everything I know. It is not like moving to another city or state. It is literally the other side of the world. I won't exactly fit in and finding a job is going to be harder than hard. At least I speak the language, that is a bonus. And of course, I will be with Minhyuk." I was rationalizing both sides and Nikki just let me ramble for a few minutes.
"Sunny." She said my name firmly to get my attention. "Do you love him?"
"With every fiber of my being."
"And you know he loves you. Do you want to be with him?"
"Of course I do, more than anything."
"Do you have anything here holding you back? Don't say me and the kids."
"My job, my apartment... the lease is not up for a few months... Simon..."
"You can find another job. You can terminate your lease if you are leaving the country. Simon can stay with us until you can get him. Your stuff can stay in my basement. You can even sell your car. What else ya got?" I could not think of anything else. Nikki and the kids were my only family, or they had been until recently. "Exactly. That is it. You are free to live your life. For the first time in years, you are free. Don't screw it up. Grab onto this opportunity and don't look back." I looked at her as she navigated traffic. She stopped the car at a red light and turned to look at me. "If you pass this up, I will kill you. Got it? I will flat out kick your ass." She reached over and took my hand, "I will be right here. Bobby and Tori will be right here. If things fall apart, you always have a place to come back to." She winked at me and turned back as the light turned green. "Besides, how else am I going to have any fun without your adventures? You may be free, but I certainly am not!" We laughed and I had to admit, I felt better.
Nikki made sense. I really had nothing tying me to this place, other than complacency. I loved my job at the gallery, but I would find something. Seoul was full of galleries. I knew I could keep my art here with Jisung and continue to sell those pieces. That would help supplement my income. I felt a sense of calm as I realized I had made my decision. Well, I had made it earlier, but now I could support it. I needed to do some research first, before I told Minhyuk, but I felt confident in my decision now.
At work the next morning, Jisung and I had our weekly meeting to go over operations, upcoming exhibits, and whatever else needed to be covered. I decided to go ahead and tell him.
"Sajangnim, I need to talk to you," I prefaced. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
"Must be important if you are calling me that." He leaned closer to give me his full attention. I took a deep breath and held my hands in front of me.
"Minhyuk has asked me to move to Korea and I have decided to go," I spewed the words out quickly before I lost my nerve. "I wanted to give you plenty of notice."
"Hmm, I can't say that I did not see this coming. When do you plan to go?"
"Well, I literally just made the decision last night, so I have zero plans yet. I just did not want to leave you in a bind. It may be a few months. I don't know for sure."
"You have been my right hand for so long, I don't know what I would do without you around, Sunny." I looked up at him with tears in my eyes.
"I love it here. I love working for you, working with you, but I am ready to live the life I want now. I have lived for someone else for so long... it is finally my turn. I hope you understand."
"I actually do understand... and I support your decision completely. You deserve happiness, Sunny. I want you to be fulfilled. I want you to have all the things you have been denied all these years. The gallery will survive, but it just won't be the same without you here." He smiled reassuringly and patted my hand.
"I never saw any of this coming. How did you?"
"I am not blind. I see how in love you two are. You are a grown woman, not some teenager who is infatuated and motivated by hormones. What you have is true and real. It should be cherished... nurtured."
"I intend to do just that," I leaned back in my chair and smiled confidently. "I am scared to death though!" Jisung laughed and nodded. He had left his home to come to America, so he did have some sense of empathy.
"I am proud of you for taking charge of your life. You are making a brave move, Sunny. But you know, finding a job is going to be really difficult. Have you started looking into that yet?"
"No, and that is why I think it may take a few months to do this. I don't even really know where to start."
"Well, I have some thoughts on that," he paused for dramatic effect. "Why don't you run the new gallery in Seoul for me?"
"I am sorry, what?" I blinked at him several times as I struggled to process what he said.
"I decided to open the new gallery finally. I was going to tell you during our meeting this morning, but you got there first. The space you found is perfect. It is exactly what I envisioned. I got some estimates recently and I have our lawyers reviewing the lease now. It will be ours in a few days. I already have crews lined up to begin renovations, and they estimate 4-6 months, depending on what we want to do inside." I was in shock for so many reasons.
"You want me to run the gallery? Without you there?"
"Yes," he laughed, "I can't be in both places. But with you there, in a way I will be." He leaned back in his chair and took a long sip of coffee before continuing. "I would love to get you over there within the next few weeks to oversee the renovations and the opening. I will come over occasionally, but this will be your baby. I know you have your vacation coming up, so of course that will not be affected. You have earned that time off and I want you to take it. If you accept my offer, that is." My brain was still catching up. I could not believe what I was hearing. "Sunny, you will accept, won't you?"
"Of course, I accept! I just had to make sure I wasn't imagining this." I wanted to jump up and dance around the room, but I held it in.
"Oh thank goodness. You had me worried there for a moment," he chuckled. "I am relieved that I will have you there. With the baby due in a few days, I need to be here for Janie. She would kill me for leaving now. After the baby is born, I will go to Seoul and hold things down while you take your well-deserved break. Her family will want to meet the baby, so the timing will work out well."
I was excited, scared, thrilled, nervous, and about 15 other emotions all at the same time. It was yet one more thing that just fell in line.
He continued, "of course, you will have a housing allowance on top of your salary... which will get a bump due to the cost of living being higher over there. Just know that South Korea is not exactly like the dramas you love to watch. It is going to be a huge adjustment for you. I know you can handle it though."
That night I called Minhyuk on video chat. I was wearing a royal blue satin spaghetti strap nightie and I was propped up on pillows in the bed. Simon and Minggom were on either side of me. He asked if he could see the rest of it, so I moved the camera and showed him. It was short, just barely covering the important parts. I shifted my legs as I tilted the camera down. He growled and asked me to wear it when he sees me next time.
"Well that may happen faster than you think."
"What? When? When are you are coming? Are you coming to stay? To be with me?" he was getting excited and loud.
"Yes, I am. I made the decision the night you left but had not figured out how to make it happen. Then Jisung asked me to manage the gallery he wants to open in Seoul. In 6 weeks I will be there with you. And I still get the month off when you go on hiatus. I guess I won't have to teach English after all," I laughed.
"Oh Jagiya, I can't believe it! I can't wait to see you! Do you have a place to stay yet? I can talk to the guys, you can stay here for a few days while you look for a place." He was smiling from ear to ear.
"I haven't told Halmeoni yet, but she made me promise to stay with her when I came back. It will only be in the beginning until I find an apartment. I can stay with you some nights too, if everyone is okay with it."
The guys had heard him talking and came over to congratulate us. I grabbed Minggom quickly to cover myself and Simon loudly protested the sudden movement. Minhyuk put his hand over the screen, but neither of us were fast enough. Changkyun had already seen. "It is okay Noona, I saw more in the hotel..." he said with a wink as he started running. Minhyuk chased after him and when he caught him off camera, I heard Changkyun screaming and laughing. Minhyuk came back to the phone and apologized for him.
"I think he just likes messing with us," I laughed. "But maybe we should be more careful." We talked for a few more minutes and then he had to go back to practice.
The next day, I applied for my work Visa. I would have one year from when it was issued. After that, I would have to reevaluate and see what I needed to do. I talked to my leasing office and told them I was leaving the country for work and needed to terminate my lease early. I was making sure to give them as much notice as I could. I called Halmeoni and told her the news. She was so excited and insisted I stay there, as I knew she would. I agreed, but only until I found an apartment. I also told her I would pay rent. She tried to refuse, but I said those were my terms and she reluctantly agreed.
I started preparing to move. I would not need any of my furniture, and most of it had been second hand anyway. I had very little money when I left Jackass and I did not ask for anything from him in the divorce, so I had to make due with what I could. It was still in excellent condition and I planned to donate it to charity. I started packing up the things I wanted to keep, art supplies, keepsakes, photographs, and things like that, and got rid of everything else. I would pack clothes and essentials in my suitcases and carryon when the time came. Nikki let me store the rest in her basement. We would have it shipped over as soon as I had a place for it. I planned to sell my car and convert the cash to won so I could have a little nest egg. I had seen how expensive it was there, so I knew I would need it. I planned to give a bit to Nikki for Simon's food and care as well.
The next weeks were a whirlwind of packing, donating, more packing, paperwork for the new gallery, web meetings with the renovation crew, and more packing. I got my hair done since finding a new stylist is always awful. I got all my annual checkups scheduled and done, teeth, lady parts, and physical. Finding new doctors is as bad as finding a new stylist. Nikki and I went out with SeoYeon and Janie to celebrate my birthday a few days early. Janie had just had the baby, so she was happy to have a night out. We had such a great time. Janie was breastfeeding, so she did not drink, but that might have been a good thing. She would not have a hangover like the rest of us.
Finally, it was time. I stood in the empty apartment and looked around. This had been my haven after my life had fallen apart. Now, like the proverbial Phoenix, I was rising from the ashes. I had a new life now. I had grown into a person I never knew I could be. I liked this 'me'.
I did a final walkthrough and made sure everything was clean and that I had not left anything behind. Once I was satisfied, I closed the door and took my keys to the rental office. It felt like I was closing the door on my old life. My flight was the next morning, so I took Simon to Nikki's and got him settled in with Bobby and Tori. They adored Simon, and Simon tolerated them. I think he secretly loved the pets and snuggles he got from them though. I hugged and petted him as much as he would allow that night and told him to be good for his Auntie Nikki and his cousins. I stayed up most of the night fangirling with Tori. Nikki and Bobby joined in for a while too.
Nikki drove me to the airport early the next morning and we cried as we said goodbye. It was harder than I expected to leave her. She was my best friend, my sister, my sounding board... the only family I had known for years. But it was time to be with my new family.