Angelo, almost dragged me out of the car once we stopped in front of my apartment complex.
I waited for him to leave with his car, crossing my arms over my chest, feeling a tad bit light headed from the effects of speed that I took to give my settled down libido a nudge.
Right. It was an asshole move on my part.
"Are you going to lead the way or do I have to carry you, tadpole?" He says retrieving that small overnight bag from the car boot that is ever present.
"You're not coming inside." I spat. "I don't want you to."
"Baby you don't?" He asked in a child like voice, his lower lip protruding to show a fake put. "Get your ass moving, Ariel." He ordered. "We're not having a scene here."
"There is no car park." I said untouched by his commanding tone. "You have to leave."
"Right." He said holding his bag through the loops so it now rested on the crook of his elbow and picked me up, putting me over his shoulder.
"You bastard!" I shrieked kicking my legs, hoping it hits his cock at least. "Let me down, you fucking asshole!"
"Quiet." He warned as he climbed up the stair case. Two at a time, all the while as I punched his back as hard as my small fists could.
I am not a violent person. Blaire is.
She's ready to punch and kick, but I am- a disappointment.
In third floor, Angelo let me slid down his body and used the spare key to unlock my door.
"Why do you still have that?" I spat finding the key to my apartment in his bunch of keys. "I want that back."
"No can do, baby." He said pushing the door open stepping inside like he owns the place. What a cocky little bastard. "Emergencies."
"Fuck you." I spat.
"That you love to." There was not sarcasm or sass in his tone.
It was impassive and plain. Bland.
Mad. He's mad.
Ignoring the huge man inside my apartment, I walk into my bedroom slamming the door behind, shake out my hair and breathe deeply.
I hated people in my house. Period.
I hated Angelo in my house.
It was as if he was evading my privacy, more then any thing.
I hated him in my house then and I hate him in my house now.
I undo the button of the suit jacket that covered my body, and shrugged it on the floor.
My body reeked of sweat and the guys cheap perfume.
Stepping into the shower, I waiter for the water to heat up and shampooed my hair, scrubbed my body red, removing any trace of the man I was with before and used heavy smelling body wash to make myself smell like me not like sweat and some cheap ass cologne.
After my shower, I wrapped myself in my black linen robe and used the towel to dry my hair, took my supplements and birth control and a paracetamol to steady the pumping ache on my head.
And I still had to pick up Coco from next door and feed the mutt.
Right. He must be hungry and ready for his dinner.
I walked into the kitchen, almost forgetting that I had company.
Ignoring, Angelo sitting on the kitchen chair, a couple of papers spread out in front of him while he talks on his phone in rapid Italian, I pick up Coco's water bowl and fill it and add food to his food bowl and leave it to their place.
"Where are you going?" Angelo asks holding the mouthpiece of his phone. "Tadpole! Ari-"
I slam the door rolling my eyes.
What am asshole.
Padding toward the door opposite to mine I knock twice.
The door opens revealing the house owner. "Hello Mister Lombardy." I smiled.
"Ariel." He smiled. "Let me get Coco, he's been cuddling with Jess, since he fell asleep."
"Sure, thank you, Mister Lombardy." I said.
A second later I heard Coco's yapping voice as he ran before my neighbor and cuddled my leg with his head.
"I am sorry, I was late today and wasn't home last night." I apologize picking up my yapping corgi in my arms. "Goodnight, Mister Lombardy."
"Good night, Ariel." The man said with a small smile lingering on his lips as he stepped indie the cocoon of his house. "I'll see you in the morning."
"Sure." I said walking back to my apartment but Angelo was leading against the open door frame.
"I am not sure I appreciate his tone and eyes toward you." He pointed out. "His eyes were going places they shouldn't be."
I sighed placing Coco on the doorway. He seemed uncomfortable to see a new person in his home.
I rubbed him behind the ears to assure it was okay and he ran off to his dinner.
"I need you to stop seeing that man or whatever." Angelo added.
"I am not seeing him." Why the fuck am I defending myself.
What I do or do not do is none of his business.
"His son takes care of my dog." I say pushing past him.
"I ordered dinner from the hotel." He said taking his seat back on the chair. "Hope you're alright with some French."
I roll my eyes. Of course. French.
"Angelo-" I turn to face him. "Stop acting like nothing happened. A lot has happened and you ordering French from the Village inn won't help mending anything."
He sighs, dropping the pen into the stack of papers. "I am not trying to mend anything. I am trying to start new. You pushing every goddamn thing back."
"Don't you blame this on me!" I say. "Don't you fucking blame this on me!"
"I am not blaming you, tadpole." He says grabbing a hold of my arm, pulling me close to him. "I-"
"You what?" I hiss. "What do you want? Me to offer you on a golden plate so we can go back to whatever we were doing- fucking? Is that why you're doing this? Making me food, taking care of me, pretending?"
He looks at me. Really looks at me.
Then sighs releasing my hand and going back to work.
Right. I think mentally.
Turn your face on me.
Like you always do.
I pushed my hair back and walked back to the bedroom.
Coco was curled on his doggie bed, fast asleep probably.
My dog is lazy.
I sat on my bed with my phone in hand, scrolled through Instagram for a while, read the news-
"Food is here." I heard. He was leaning against the door frame. "Croissant casserole, onion soup, boursin and macaroons."
The sound of macaroons and the lasts almost lingering in my mouth made me want to the table and gobble them goodness up.
He knows too much about me.
"I am not hungry." I say impassibly and lay down on my side, phone still on hand.
I feel the bed dip beside me and he massages my scalp. "Not even the macaroons or the French apple tart?"
Dang it.
"Are you sure, tadpole?"
Fuck this.
I want then macaroons.
"I'll get your plate." He chuckles lowly getting up and walking to where the food where.
Asshole.
I sat up with a huff and adjusted my linen robe, to make sure his eyes don't wander about. As they always have a habit to.
Angelo walks in with two plates of food and a desert packet with the inn's logo slammed on top.
He places the food on the bed and sits across from me.
The inn's food was delicious, there was no doubt. Whatever they made, Japanese, Italian, French, Turkish, Indian- fingers licking goodness lingered in every taste.
But then again when chefs are from all over the world, you don't expect nothing less.
There was a small bowl of thick onion soup with stuffed chicken rolls aka boursin and cheesy croissant casserole.
I snatched up my plate and dogged into the heavenly goodness.
This was better then the caponata Angelo made last night.
I mean he puts and effort to whatever he does. Even cooking. I like that about him.
Everything deserves an effort except Ariel.
Ariel doesn't deserve ant explanation. No effort.
Ariel is just supposed to open her legs and keep Capo Bestone happy.
Ariel is not supposed to attend family parties with Capo Bestone because Ariel is a stripper.
Ariel can't be seen in public with Capo Bestone because she is a stripper
Ariel doesn't deserve to bear his kids because Ariel sells her body to please men.
Ariel is a whore.
"What's wrong?" Angelo asked placing his plate beside him on the bed.
I bit my lip, fork in hand, trying not to let those pathetic tears escape.
Don't cry.
A drop of tear lands on the plate, my hand shakes from the grip I have on the silverware.
"Ariel-" Angelo asks worried. "Baby- what's-"
"Go away." I whisper. "Just leave."
"Baby why are you-"
"Just leave!" I said placing my plate on the bed. "Just go, just- go" I waved my hand toward the door. "It's too much."
"Tell me." He says. "I'll fix it. Whatever it is- I'll fix it, tadpole."
"Being my baby back." I whispered.
So needy to fix everything aren't you?
You want everything to be fixed, don't you?"
"Ariel-"
"Bring our baby back, Angelo." I said closing our distances, grabbing his collar. "Bring our baby back, fix it."
He stays silent, looking in to my eyes.
"Fix it!" I yell slapping him across the cheek. "Fix it, being him back, damnit!"
"Ariel." He urges. "Baby stop."
"Fix it!" I cry pushing my small frame against him. "Bring him back, bring our baby back, undo that night, you said you'll do whatever!"
"Shush." He urges cupping my cheek. "Hush, it's-"
"No it not." I trembled. "It's not okay, I can't help but feel it, it's not okay, you killed him!"
He hooks his hands under by bottom and brings me on his lap, one and cupping my head to his chest, he rocks me back and forth.
"You killed him." I accuse. "I dream of him every night-"
"I am sorry."
"You aren't." I say. "You aren't sorry."
"I am sorry, Ariel." He whispers.
What's he sorry for?
Is he sorry that he killed the child?
Or sorry that he doesn't feel any remorse after ending his flesh and blood?
I fist his shirt and push my face on his chest, inhaling his smell.
"You okay?" He asks gently running his fingers through my hair.
I nod. I am not.
"I hate that I keep crying." I whisper. "I never used to cry."
"It's okay, tadpole." He sighs. "Shall I feed you now?"
I nod. If that makes it any better.
I turn on his lap as he picks up my plate and uses my fork to put morsel of food in my mouth, while I lean back in chest, smelling the Paco Rabanne on him.
"Is there a bottle of your perfume in your bag?" I ask taking another morsel in my mouth.
"I'll leave it by your vanity." He says.
I nod.
"Are we gonna have sex?" I ask as Angelo clears the plates away from the bed. "Are you going to fuck me tonight, Angelo."
He frowns. "Why are you talking like that?"
"You don't want to?" I said untying my robe, shrugging my shoulders so the linen glide down my shoulders.
Say no. I pray.
Show me I am not just a whore to you.
"It's bizarre how you think that I'm here to fuck you." He says as if he was disappointed. "Go to sleep, Ariel."
I laid down on the bed, robe discarded on the floor, linen coverlet hiding my shame.
Angelo came in some minutes later, closed the blinds on the window, dimmed the lights and stepped into the bathroom.
I heard the shower running.
I woke up, from a faint sound or maybe a fraction of my dream being too disturbing. The blinds were still drawn.
The analogue clock said nine fifty. Cursing, I get down from the bed, butt naked run to the kitchen, fill Coco's bowl water and his other bowl with food.
"Coco." I holler for the mutt, he comes yapping nuzzling my feet until I get down and tickle his ears before jump into the shower, wash myself quick and get dressed for the ballet class.
When did he leave? I can't help but think as put on my clothes.
Coco is done feeding when I am slipping my feet into the flats, grabbing the keys.
"Be good for me, Coco." I say parting his head when I hand him to Jess, the seven year old who takes care of Coco.
"Thanks Jess." I give him a hug. "Be good."
"We will, miss Ariel, take care." He waves me as I run out, hoping to get into the auditorium before it's ten thirty.
____________________________________
Authors Note:
Had to delete the whole chap and republish it all over again. Lost you a votes and comments. lol. Let me know if y'all can see it full though.
-November