i've got writer's block l m a o but anyway,
enjoy :)
part one.
————
I always wanted a quiet and reserved boyfriend, the one who always speaks the opposite of what they really mean. The ones that I'd fangirl over whenever I watch shoujo animes. Aren't they just cute?
The way how they'd look at the female lead with disinterest, the coldness that's always evident in their voices but they mean well. Oh, when they're flustered or shy! I love it when they're cheeks turn red, they're just really cute to me.
Whenever my friends and I watch animes like that, I'd always pick the guys that are Tsunderes or Kuuderes. They just catch my attention every time, it wouldn't matter to me whether they're the lead or not.
With my fantasies going around my head, my ideal type became a quiet and reserved, smart and seemingly uninterested in things but is caring deep inside. I can't marry the anime characters so I'll just look for someone with the same personality.
I've had my eyes on a specific person in school, we don't really interact since I'm too shy to even try--pfft shy. I basically have nothing to say even if I tried to speak to him, though I want to try speaking to him.
"(Y/n), we're watching Ao Haru Ride again." I immediately turn to my friend with a big smile. "He's so handsome.. I wish I can have a boyfriend like him." I nod and hold a thumbs-up in agreement. "Like Suna-san..."
Oh, one thing I forgot to say is that my friends have no idea that I am crushing on the one they just mentioned. I like the volleyball player named Suna Rintaro, he's our classmate and he fits the description. I never knew my friend likes him too.
"You have a crush on Suna-san?" I ask and take a sip from my chocolate milk. She glanced at him and sighed, turning back to me. She shakes her head slowly and points to someone else. "Miya Osamu.."
He does fit the description but having a boyfriend that has a twin... if their hair goes back to the original color then it'd be confusing. But! I do admit that I do have a crush on him--did have a crush.
"How about you?" I finish my milk, contemplating whether I should or shouldn't tell my friends. "You have someone you like, tell us."
"Suna Rintaro.." I say in a quiet voice, hoping that it was enough for the two of them to hear. I swear I saw him glance at me. "D-Did he hear me say that?" They shrug, letting out a chuckle.
"Your voice was quiet, don't worry." I hope he didn't hear me.
The bell rang and the teacher soon arrived. I had to stuff my cheeks with the bread, the teacher told me to finish everything. I'm kind of embarrassed, she really humiliated me in front of everyone. I hate her.
I also saw him look at me that's why I really don't want that to happen ever again. I was about to put my food away when she called me out. Well, that was one wonderful lunch break. Everyone laughed, did he?
I write my notes down, writing my feelings and thoughts too. I'm still very embarrassed, I feel weak that my knees are just so light and my hands can't get a proper grip on my pen.
I put the pen down and decided to just listen to the teacher. I really can't close my hand and hold onto the pen properly. I'm not shaking though, it's probably just because I'm embarrassed over what happened earlier.
That's a thing about me when I'm embarrassed of something, when I get humiliated I would just feel weak and unable to hold anything properly. I think my friends know, I hope they do.
When this class ended, I thought of going out so I stood from my seat. I squat down as I whimpered in pain. I hold on to my wrist with my free hand and squeeze it to put pressure or something. Someone slammed the door! My hand was on the fucking doorframe!
How am I going to write? My dominant hand got crushed by the door! "(L/n)-san, are you okay?" I look up with one eye open, look back down to the floor when I felt my hand throb. "You're bleeding."
I don't know who this person is but he—it's a he—just brought me to the infirmary. He pulled me with him by my sleeve since both of my hands are unavailable. Whoever he is, I'm thankful.
The school nurse tended to me, she told me to let go of my wrist! I can't do that! My hand will hurt more! "You have to let go for me to check your hand." I slowly let go and my tears rolled down my cheeks.
When my hand got crushed, I didn't squeal or scream.. I couldn't. It was too painful for me to even think of making a sound. My hand is very numb. How am I going to ride my bike? I don't know how to use just one hand! I can but only with my dominant hand.
She tried doing something and I accidentally leaned my head on my classmate's waist. He's not really doing anything nor is he leaving, he can at least lend me his waist for me to feel a bit better.
I'm still crying and wincing in pain even when she made me drink pills already. She also bandaged my hand and it's now covered in the white thingy.. the person who slammed the door didn't even notice.
"You'll be fine but you have to get an x-ray just in case you've broken any bones." I nod, looking at my hand, can't even see it. "Your girlfriend just needs to rest her hand, if she didn't break any bones then rest would be enough for her." Girlfriend....?
I look up to see Suna Rintaro, fucking no he is not! "W-We're not.. but uhm.. how long will it take me to get back to normal?" I ask, wiping my cheeks clean with my dominant hand—I winced in pain, I fucking forgot.
"If you didn't break any bones, a month would get you to 75%. Two to three if you broke any bones, or more." Is she kidding? She smiled innocently and turned to the cupboards. "But if you do try going to the hospital, they have medication there that could help you heal faster—in terms of the pain, but exercising your hand will help you get back to normal."
I try standing from the bed, once again using my dominant hand and I heard something crack. I look at the nurse and she was surprised too. "Sorry, that was a pretzel." Suna helped me get off the bed and I stared at him, dumfounded.
I thought I broke a bone! I hit his arm lightly with my non-dominant hand, feeling more tears roll down my cheeks. That really scared the hell out of me, why did he have to eat a pretzel right when I injured my hand?
We got back to class and he gave me something to eat, he's suspicious. I just looked at him and he did the same. He poked the straw through the circle and handed me the chocolate milk, I nod a little to say thank you and drank it.
"(Y/n)! Where were—What happened to your hand?!" Suna excused himself when my friends came. "Wait is that why you were on the floor?" On the floor..? I just nod and she pouted her lips.
"Maya, stop being dramatic it's not like she broke a bone." I look away and I sensed them panicking. "Y-You did?" I smile innocently and shake my head. "Don't joke like that!"
"I might've, I need to get an x-ray." They sighed and helped me eat my food. "Someone slammed the door with my hand on the you know and bam! Injury." Maya's still pouting and Nina laughed, I love them so much.
"By the way, why was Suna-san with you?" I glance at him and saw him eating his pretzels. "Why are you clicking your tongue?"
"He scared the shit hell out of me, I accidentally bent my hand and he just had to eat a pretzel." The two of them suddenly bursted out laughing. "But he didn't complain when I cried on him, this hurts a lot.."
I finished eating my food before the teacher could come in. I don't want to be humiliated again. I got my notebook out along with my pen, freezing when I realized that my hand's injured and I wouldn't be able to write.
The teacher discussed the lesson, writing so many new things on the board. I want to use my phone to take a photo of it but he'd erase it afterwards, I wasn't able to even try it out. There are so many new things for me to write.. why..?
I look up when the teacher tapped the board. No.. We have a quiz! A 50 item quiz and I can't write! The ones in front passed the papers behind them and I passed the rest behind me. I hid my hand under my desk and stared at my paper.
I take the pen and tried writing my hand, I can't. I look around and everyone's answering theirs, I want to answer too. Minutes probably passed and I'm still just staring at my paper, no one's passing theirs yet so I'm safe.
"(Y/n), why aren't you answering?" I bite my bottom lip and pull my hand out. "You could've told me." The teacher eyed us all and sighed. "Suna you help her, you're finished anyway." I look at him and it seems like he just woke up, he took a nap.
He went over to me and switched seats with the one beside me. He asked me how to write my name since they can be written in different kanjis. I just stare at my paper and I really felt the urge of crying, I wasn't able to focus.
"Number 1." I don't know the answer. "(L/n)-san." I have no idea.
"I don't really know.. anything... I can just.. fail this. It's okay." I sit back and he looked at me. "What? I can't write, nor did I pay attention. It's okay to fail."
"Your eyes tell me that you don't want to." He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer. I look at my paper again and try thinking of an answer. I point to the letter A and he encircled B. "I'll correct some of your answers, we won't get caught. Don't worry." He whispered.
I feel bad and guilty but I really don't want to fail. I point at my answer and he said I got some right, he changed some of them to get me mistakes. I'm not at the top of the class so I shouldn't get too many rights, especially with him helping me out.
He passed the paper for me and we left two problems blank, it's kind of a thing for me to have blanks. He stayed beside me since the girl was still answering her quiz. The teacher wasn't suspicious of us which is a huge relief.
"Does it hurt?"
"A little. Why are you talking to me?"
"Just 'cause."
He slid a notebook in front of me and I had trouble opening it, so he helped me out. It's his notebook. It's the lesson earlier.. He didn't bother me any further so I just read his notes, I understood the lesson just by reading them.
They're so clean, I should've expected that from him. He slid something else in front of me, a letter? I glance at him and he wasn't looking at me. I tried opening it and I couldn't so I elbowed him. I frown and hand it to him, he opened it for me.
"Can we meet me at the back of the school building after school..? I kinda... like you.. Tell me your answer then? -Haru"
Ha...? Is this a love letter? "Who gave this? I mean.. Haru, Namizaki Haruno?" Suna nodded and tucked his head in his arms on the desk to take a nap.
"I'll come with you."
"Why?"
"Just... 'cause.."
The girl ended up sitting on at Suna's seat the whole time because he fell asleep on hers. The girl seems pretty happy to be sitting there, she probably likes him too. She'd glance at him every other minute.
The teacher left without calling him out to wake up, there was a few minutes break and he just slept the whole time. Maybe training tired him out that he just wants to sleep during class hours.
I would look at him but I try not to since he might wake up and find me staring at him, that's just creepy. I also just, he looks really handsome even in his sleep that I want to look at him while he sleeps.
I had to wake him up when the next class started, he needs to go back to his seat. But, the teacher saw my hand and made him help me out so he stayed beside me, but he and the girl had to switch places after.
When classes ended, I excused myself from my friends and went over to Suna. He came with me to the back of the school, kind of weird but he said he'd be hiding somewhere and that he'd take care of my things.
I saw the guy and so I gave him a small wave, seeing him smile with his cheeks turning red. I'm not used to having people confess to me so I'm really in an awkward position right now.
"H-Hi..." He started. "I gave you the letter and uhm.. I've really had my eyes on you for a while now and I just thought maybe.. we could..?" He says, fiddling with his fingers as he looked at me. He's shy.
"I'm sorry.. but I like someone else.." I'm worried, it's as if his soul suddenly left his body. "I'm really sorry.." He just smiled and bowed, leaving me on my own. "You can come out now."
Suna walked away from the tree and went to me, I reached my hand out to get my bag but he wouldn't let me. "Let me carry them for you." I shake my head and try again. "You're injured."
"But I can still use my other hand?" He ignored me and turned around, walking ahead of me. "Hey Suna-san!" I ran up to him, bumping into his chest when he turned to me. "Ow.."
He looked at my hand, taking it and intertwining our fingers. "I like you too.. so.. be my girlfriend and let me carry these for you.." His cheeks flushed a tint of red but he's still looking at me with the same yet softer eyes.
"Okay.." I smile, earning a kiss on my forehead.
~~~
He asked me if I wanted to stay around and watch him play, well it sounded more like a request than a question so I said yes. He told me to keep my hand away from everyone and make sure that I will never get hit by a ball.
He's sweeter than I thought he was but I like it. The way how he reacts to me being disrespectful makes me smile, he's cute. The Miya Twins approached me and Atsumu would try to interact with me but Osamu would pull him away.
Kita-san was just like how they said he is, he's perfect. I've seen his exam results and they're always perfect, I wish I could have at least one perfect exam. His movements while he plays are well-thought through as well.
I reach out for a ball, feeling Suna's eyes on me. I pull back and just let it roll on the floor. He's protective and it's just our first few minutes of being together. I want to play with a ball though..
"Stop pouting." I give Suna a smile and he just stared at me. "You..." I hum in response, he mumbled something but I couldn't hear it. "I said you..." I pout and give him the puppy eyes. "You look cuter when you smile." He whispered.
My blood rushed up to my cheeks and my heart started to run, what was with that? "What time will you finish?" He turned to the clock as he drank from his bottle.
"7 PM, why?" I shake my head and give him a smile. "Are you going to have your hand checked up today?" I shrug, I don't know really. "I'll come with you." He said and ruffled my hair, stopping when I yawned. "You can take a nap, if you want to.."
"But.. you said you wanted me to watch you." He sighed and pulled me to the side. He made me sit and he gave me his jacket, placing it around my shoulders. "Suna..?"
"Call me Rin and.. take a nap. I'll wake you up once we're done." He fixed the jacket, giving me a kiss on the forehead before going back.
I fell asleep almost immediately. I really am tired over crying this morning. My hand's injured and the one who slammed the door on it didn't even apologize, I don't even know who crushed my hand!
I didn't get scolded by their coach for sleeping by the sidelines, nor was I called out for it. He must've taken all the responsibilities for it, and to think that he'd do that.. How did he like me? It's making me curious.
Just this morning I was fantasizing over my anime crushes and was thinking of him, now I'm his girlfriend like nothing happened. He talks more than I also thought he does, and being sweet... I'm fond of it.
I woke up from my sleep and cry, my hand got hit by the ball. It hurts so bad and I can't even move it anymore. I look up and find everyone around me, Suna kneeled beside me and looked at my hand. It hurts as fuck, I want to go home.
"Oi Atsumu, you already slammed the door and now you're gonna hit her again?" Osamu said, making me want to cry more now that I know who exactly hurt me. "Oh, Suna's mad."
"I'm sorry, it was an accident I swear! I didn't notice her earlier!" I feel embarrassed, they're all watching me cry. I just frown and Atsumu's starting to panic more. "Suna don't kill me, I didn't mean to hurt your girlfriend haha... it was an accident."
"Whatever, we're going." He pulled me up and brought me outside.
He let me wear his jacket and he didn't even change anymore. He got out bags and carried mine for me, holding my free hand to keep me close. He skipped the rest of practice for me, we seriously just got together.
I snuggle closer and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder while he still held my hand. He asked me wear I lived and he said he'd walk me home. It's quiet but I understand, I don't have anything in mind either. I just want my hand to get better faster.
I hope he won't kill Atsumu for accidentally hitting my hand. I look at him and he just stared at me but then he suddenly leaned in. "What are you staring at me for?" I look away but he held me in place.
"D-Don't kill him.." He blinked his eyes and looked away, letting out a quiet chuckle. "What..?"
"I won't." He ruffled my hair and smiled. He's cute when he smiles too. "Does it still hurt?" I look at my hand and shrug, I don't know. "I told you to hide your hand."
"Sorry..." He stopped walking, turning to the 8 Eleven. He held my hand and brought me inside, buying me ice cream. Sweet.. We shared it and it's awkward for me. Then.. "Why did you ask me out?" He wiped the corner of my lips, humming as he thought of a response.
"How about you? You have someone you like, tell us. Suna Rintaro..." I want to laugh but I feel so embarrassed, but I want to laugh.. he reenacted a female's voice. "I overheard.. but that's not it."
"Was that supposed to make me feel embarrassed or was it for me to laugh?" He smiled and kissed the side of my head. "But why then?"
"I find you cute..." For some reason I bursted out laughing. Me? Cute? He needs glasses. "You are cute, how would you explain the guy who confessed to you this afternoon?" I want to tease him.
"Which one?" He looked away and his cheeks are red. "But okay.."
We finished the ice cream and headed to my place. I kind of forgot that I got my hand injured. He was talking more than I expected he would, plus he's very caring. He really made sure that my hand would be hurt more than it already is.
I stopped walking and so we're at my place. I don't exactly know what to do now that we're going to be parting. It feels weird, I don't know what to say or.. What should I do? What do girlfriends normally do?
I jump out of my thoughts when he suddenly kissed my forehead. I like it when he does it and.. He smiled, showing me his eye-smile. I just pout my lips and he kissed the tip of my nose like it's nothing.
"I'll see you tomorrow." I give him a smile, earning a sudden kiss on the lips. I cover my mouth with my hands and he simply smiled. "I can do that.. right?" I mean he can but.. "I won't if you don't want it.."
"....You can...." He smiled and kissed my forehead.
~~~
Weeks passed and my hand's still in the process of healing. Rin came with me to get an x-ray and thankfully, Atsumu didn't break any of my bones. I would really cry if I broke my hand, I don't want to switch hands.
I already tried to practice writing with my hand again but my hand still hurts, Maya or Nina would be the ones writing for me. I've struggled with even just moving my fingers, they're still very numb. It's annoying.
Aside from my hand, he and I have been hanging out more than I imagined. I felt like I'm in a shoujo anime and it's making me feel very happy for some reason. Everything I've seen in those animes I've watched are happening, reality really hits different.
I've watched their matches and Suna's really doing great, the way how he plays makes me want to keep watching. He promised to teach me when my hand's fully healed. I really hope my hand would heal faster, I want to learn how to play volleyball already.
He promised to hang out with me today, and right on time. My period came and I'm having my mood swings too, it's crazy. The slightest difference in something irritates me, I even accidentally yelled at mom.
"Hey, look at me." I turn away from him and cover myself with my blanket. "Come on. I have Kitkats." I immediately turn to him and take them from him, falling on his chest. I accidentally hit my hand. "Easy.." He took my hand and gently massaged my hand, kissing the back of it.
"Be gentle.." He opened the Kitkat for me and broke the pieces for me to easily eat. "Do you have anything else..?" I take a look at the plastic bag and he bought coke. "Open.."
"Sit if you'd want to drink." He pulled me up before opening it for me. I almost spilled it. "Do you still have cramps?" I nod and eat the kitkat.
"Eh... you also bought pads?" I gently pinch his cheek, scrunching my nose as I played with his cheek. I wish I could play with both at the same time but my hand is still injured. "I love you..." I lay on his lap and eat.
"You're saying that a lot today." I just snuggle closer and hug a pillow, pressing it onto my abdomen. "Did you eat anything else other than just that?" I nod and finish the kitkat, reaching over to get more. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Why are you making it sound like periods are deadly? Girls have this every month, unless they're irregulars.." He brushed my hair away from my face, kissing my forehead.
"I was talking about when you threw up blood last night." Oh right.. "I'm just worried. You looked really sick yesterday." I nod and sit up, begging him to open the bag of chips. "I really don't think you should be eating those right now."
"Open..... please..." If he won't open this then I'm crying. I want to eat the chips. "Rin.. please open it." He sighed and finally gave in, I immediately smile and dig in.
He gently rubbed my abdomen and brushed my hair as I ate. I really love it when we hang out like this, I love how simple it is as long as I have him around then I'm happy. I'm happy with this, it's enough.
Rintaro would always worry and care about whatever's going on around me. Though he never tells me about it, the others would tease him when it comes to that. He even sulks sometimes when I hang around other guys, especially when I talk to Kita-san.
I remember when I just asked Kita-san for help with something, he said he hated me. I felt offended at first but he was too cute and I just couldn't fight over that. He sulked the whole day while trying to act cute, he made me do things so that I'd stay closer.
"(Y/n), if something's not okay with your health.. do you promise to tell me about it?" I sit up and place the coke on the side table. I eyed his face, only to get a kiss on my lips. "I am your boyfriend now.. right?"
"Of course you are.. why would we be doing all these things if you weren't?" I smile sweetly, getting pulled into a hug. "You also have your off days now, don't you? I'll be fine... don't worry."
"I love you."
~~~
With Rintaro worrying over my health everyday, he'd bring me a fruit or anything healthy to eat. He would ask me if I'm allergic to something then he'd bring it for me the next day. I'm kind of shocked to be honest.
He makes his own bento now and he always makes more than he should, he said that they're for me. It's not like I don't make my own bento. He's just too caring and kind, he's really serious about us. Cute.
I'm getting ready for school and I'm just brushing my hair. I'm annoyed at the fact that I've been having hair falls a lot more often than before, well my hair never did this in the first place. I have to clean my brush every time I use it.
This is actually more than usual, I can't get used to this. I don't like this at all. I'm gonna have to check on this, I'll hide this from him right now... he'll be worried sick if I tell him this now. They have a match soon so, I'm gonna shut up.
I head to school, meeting him by the 8 Eleven near my house. He gave me a bag of nuts and chocolate milk. "Are you okay? You look like you had a bad morning." I shake my head and smile.
"I almost didn't wake up, I panicked when I woke up without hearing the alarm.. turns out I woke up before it even rang." He chuckled and kissed my forehead.
He took my hand and we headed to school. He always comes here to go to school with me, I really appreciate it but it sometimes troubles him. He told me he wakes up earlier than he usually does, he makes up excuses but I'd always see through it.
My hand's gotten a lot better and I can write already, but I still can't write longer than two paragraphs. My wrist gets tired and my fingers randomly numb after writing. I always have someone else to write for me. Exams were even made a lot easier to do just for me, I love my teachers.
"(Y/n), do you want more?" I turn to Rintaro, getting a pistachio right into my mouth. "Yeah you do." He opened the bag for me and I got more. "How's your hand?"
"It's okay.. oh can you apply any ointment on my wrist?" I got the salonpas out and he gently applied some. It still hurts. "Thank you." He placed a hand on my nape and pulled me in, kissing me on the forehead. When he pulled back, a few strands of hair got along with his hand.
"Your hair has been like this for a while.. are you really sure that you're okay?" I smile and nod, eating more nuts.
We're at the rooftop so it's fine to act like this. He showed me two more cartons of chocolate milk, just how many more does he have of this? He even gave me more chocolate, why is he spoiling me?
"Why are you spoiling me?" He answered me with a kiss on the lips. "I love you too then."
"I know that you're hiding something right now, but I'd prefer waiting for an answer than forcing it out of you. I don't want to force you if you can't tell me anything yet. I'll just wait for you to tell me that, once you can... I'll listen to everything once you tell me."
I feel so bad now. "I'm sorry.. I can't tell you because I don't know myself. I'm sorry for keeping you out... you're probably already having doubts.." He just kissed my forehead and smiled. "I'm unsure about this too, so I'm really sorry.."
"That's why I said I'd wait, it's fine... As long as you'd tell me when you're ready. I love you, hmm?" I'm sorry..
~~~
It's been a few months since my hair started falling off. We're already nearing summer break, and I'm here at Kita-san's place to tell him something. I've told my friends and I just thought that telling him is the best option right now.
I ring the doorbell and wait for an answer. I hope he really doesn't mind me telling him this. I can't tell Rintaro so I decided to just let him know instead. Weirdly enough he's the one I'm closest to aside from Rintaro.
An old lady opened the door, I'm kinda shy. "Oh.. a lovely young girl." She's so cute! "Oh, are you here for my grandson? Shinsuke, someone's here for you." I simply smile and she let me in.
"Nana, what is it?" I give him a small wave and he doesn't even look a bit fazed. He gestured me to go somewhere else with him soI did. "How do you know the way here?"
"I asked Aran... or someone else." He gave me a glass of water and waited for me to speak. "I'm gonna have to tell you this... you have to keep this a secret. It's pretty.. serious." He squinted his eyes and sat in front of me.
I told him everything, every single detail. I don't want to miss any detail, for the very least I can have someone that knows about this. Kita-san would understand more than anyone so, it's fine to tell him. I'm really just scared of telling Rintaro.
"And you're not telling him is because?"
"I don't want him to worry.. once he knows.. it's just going to make him panic and all sorts of things. We're in our third year already, he has to focus more than he used to." I want to but I can't hold him back.
"I understand. Just make sure that this is the best out of all the decisions you could probably have done." I nod and he nodded in return.
~~~
A lot more things happened and my hair has never gotten better. I would still lose a lot of hair and he'd worry over it. It happens a lot more often and I'm also panicking myself, I don't know what to do about it anymore.
I'm also... I can't keep this up anymore. I'm hiding so many things from him and he's already having trouble trying to keep up with me. It's difficult.
We're graduating today and I just can't do this anymore, I'm keeping him from doing more things and he's just worrying over me than himself. I don't want this anymore.
"(Y/n)." I turn to him, eyes still on the ground. "Can we talk about everything?" I bite my bottom lip, I'm sorry.
"Rintaro, you're just going to worry over everything. We can't.... I can't anymore. Please.." He pulled me away from everyone and we're at the rooftop.
"(Y/n).. are you.. you even went to Kita-san's house.. for what? What exactly are you hiding from me?" I can't hold my tears in any further. "Are you telling me you went behind my back?" I didn't.
"I did." I'm really sorry. "I went behind your back, so what?" I still love you, I just can't tell you anything. "You don't like it, right?"
"Why are you being like this?" His voice cracked, I'm sorry. "Are you suggesting that... we'd end this?" I smile and nod. "Why..?"
"Just because we have to, what other reason should there be?"
this is just part one don't worry HAHSAHS i love you all and this was pretty late. i got distracted by watching haikyuu all over again. i'm really sorry about this being late aaaaaa
anyway, i hope you all enjoyed this! thank you for reading! good mornight sweethearts~! <3